LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE Series #21. My Lobotomy: Memoir by Howard Dully

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you tak delight in watching films or listening to pop music? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#21. My Lobotomy (Memoir by Howard Dully) 

This memoir tells the story of Howard Dully. In 1960, when he was just twelve years old, he underwent a lobotomy—an outdated and controversial neurosurgical procedure that cuts the nerve connections between the frontal lobes and the rest of the brain to treat mental illness. First introduced in 1936, the procedure was intended to calm patients by damaging brain connections, but it often resulted in emotional dullness, serious cognitive impairment, and lasting changes in personality. The medical doctor who performed the surgery was the man who invented the “ice pick” lobotomy. The author of this book had asked one critical question throughout his life: “Was there something had I done that was so horrible I deserved a lobotomy?”

 

“I don’t think my stepmother was shopping for a lobotomy the first time she met Freeman. But she was fed up with me, that was certain.”

ð  Dully writes in his memoir that his stepmother’s strong dislike and sense of being “fed up” pushed her to seek a drastic solution, eventually bringing her to Dr. Walter Freeman. Even though other doctors rejected the idea and said Howard was normal, Dully’s stepmother continued to pursue the procedure with Freeman. The quote highlights that her actions were driven more by her inability to cope with a child she did not love than by any real medical need.

 

“Howard has been extremely belligerent toward his father and stepmother. He refuses to clean his room and come home immediately after school. He refuses to prepare, complete and turn in required school assignments and also causes classroom disturbances. -  The court said it would house me in Santa Clara County Juvenile Hall.”

ð  The quote is significant because it reveals the story his stepmother presented to doctors—framing typical, rebellious adolescent behavior as something “savage” and beyond repair. Howard explains that he was not actually ill; instead, he was a child struggling to live with a strict stepmother. This conflict ultimately led to a “shattered childhood” and a surgery that later made him feel like a “zombie.”

  

**Jean’s Small Thoughts:

Reading this memoir about an ordinary man made me feel grateful and encouraged me to rethink how I view life’s challenges and hardships. Throughout his life, and especially in his complicated relationship with his stepmother, Howard Dully endured unfair cruelty and absurd treatment that he never deserved. Reflecting on a childhood clouded by lies and the irrational actions of the adults around him, he still chose to face and accept the pain they caused. Rather than blaming or condemning those who hurt him, he focused on being thankful for his father and siblings, who patiently supported him and waited for him to find his way forward in life. He showed me not to blame the darkest moments of the past for present failures or future setbacks.