LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #20. The Year of Magical Thinking (authored by Joan Didion)
LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE
Do you take delight in watching films or
listening to pop music? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one
of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your
favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and
oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.
#20. The Year of Magical Thinking (authored
by Joan Didion, 2005)
“It was in fact the ordinary nature of everything
preceding the event that prevented me from truly believing it had happened,
absorbing it, incorporating it, getting past it. I recognize now that there was
nothing unusual in this: confronted with sudden disaster we all focus on how
unremarkable the circumstances were in which the unthinkable occurred, the
clear blue sky from which the plane fell, the routine errand that ended on the
shoulder with the car inflames, the swings where the children were playing as
usual when the rattlesnake struck from the ivy.”
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The
author Didion highlights that the ordinary nature of the moment—having dinner
and talking about television—made it difficult to accept that death had
actually occurred. She uses imagery such as a “clear blue sky” to symbolize the
calm innocence that existed just before tragedy struck. She suggests that this
kind of mental conflict is common; when people experience sudden loss, they
often focus on how normal everything seemed beforehand. This focus can prevent
them from fully processing their grief or “moving past it.” The passage
reflects the early stages of mourning, when the mind resists accepting the
painful new reality and may turn to “magical thinking,” behaving as though the
person could still return.
“This is a case in which I need more than words to find
the meaning. This is a case in which I need whatever it is I think or believe
to be penetrable if only for myself.”
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As
a professional writer, Didion recognizes that language alone cannot fully
convey or make sense of the experience of sudden death around her. She needs
her rigid, stunned mindset—shaped by “magical thinking” that he or even the
eidolon of her husband might return—to become “penetrable,” allowing the harsh
reality to break through. This quote illustrates her struggle with a kind of
chiasmus: she relies on words to create meaning, yet also feels that
understanding must exist beyond them. She portrays the disorientation of grief,
where she must push past the irrational narratives she tells herself in order
to reach genuine understanding. The passage introduces her broader examination
of how people try to avoid confronting the certainty of death.
Much like
Joan Didion may have felt after the loss of her husband, it can seem as though
it will take an incredibly long time for someone in mourning to allow the
small, everyday parts of life to gradually fill the emptiness left behind.
Holding onto memories shared with someone you loved—someone who is gone
forever—can feel natural and meaningful. As long as those memories do not pull
you into despair, why should they be abandoned? Perhaps cherishing them is one
way to continue living while keeping a sense of connection with loved ones who
have passed on. Before the simple, “ordinary” moments of life fade into
memories we wish we had valued more, maybe we should take the chance to say “I
love you” openly, here and now.
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