LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #67. Gaslight (film, 1944)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you take delight in watching films, listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#67. Gaslight (film, 1944)

After her famous opera-singer aunt passed, Paula (played by Ingrid Bergman) traveled to Italy to study music as an aspiring opera singer. There, she fell in love with Gregory Anton (played by Charles Boyer), and the couple returned to London. Soon, Paula began noticing unsettling events—missing items, mysterious footsteps, and gaslights that dim on their own. As these strange incidents continued, she started questioning both her sanity and her husband's true motives.

 

(Paula and Gregory’s dialog):

Paula: "Gregory, are you trying to tell me I'm insane?"

Gregory: "It's what I'm trying NOT to tell myself."

ð     This dialogue between Paula and Gregory is one of the most significant moments in the movie and helped inspire the modern term "gaslighting." Paula finally recognizes a disturbing pattern in her husband Gregory's behavior. She realizes that he has been carefully planting doubts, manipulating events, and subtly suggesting that she is losing her mind. By confronting him, she begins to see the truth behind his deception.

Gregory's response is a classic example of psychological manipulation. He pretends to be concerned and reluctant to question her sanity, making it seem as though he was a caring husband forced to acknowledge an unfortunate reality. In truth, his concern is entirely performative. By validating Paula's fears about her mental state, he avoids responsibility and deepens her self-doubt.

Throughout the film, Gregory systematically isolates Paula, undermines her confidence, and causes her to distrust her own perceptions. His ultimate goal is to keep her confused and powerless while he secretly searches their home for her aunt's hidden jewels.

The film's portrayal of this form of emotional abuse was so influential that the term "gaslighting" eventually entered modern psychology and popular culture. Today, it refers to a pattern of manipulation in which a person causes someone else to question their memories, perceptions, or sense of reality in order to gain control over them.

 

(Detective Brian Cameron said): "This night will be a long night. But it will end. It's starting to clear. In the morning, when the sun rises, sometimes it's hard to believe there ever was a night. You'll find that too."

ð    Detective Cameron's quote serves as a compassionate metaphor for trauma, recovery, and the return of hope. By comparing Paula's suffering to a nightmare that fades with the arrival of morning, he reassures her that her painful psychological ordeal will not last forever.

The quote operates on several levels. First, it validates Paula's experience by acknowledging that the fear, confusion, and anguish she endured were real, while also affirming that she is now free from her husband's control. Second, the image of the sunrise symbolizes healing, clarity, and renewal. After living in darkness and self-doubt, Paula can finally see the truth and begin rebuilding her life.

Most importantly, the quote tells us the temporary nature of suffering. Just as a frightening dream loses its hold once a person wakes up, the emotional wounds inflicted by abuse gradually become less overwhelming with time. Although the memories may never completely disappear, they no longer define or control her. The words offer Paula reassurance that recovery is possible and that a brighter future lies ahead.

 

(Paula said): "If I were not mad, I could have helped you... But because I am mad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you. And because I'm mad, I'm rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a shred of regret, watching you go with glory in my heart!"

ð     Paula finally turns the tables on her abusive husband. By sarcastically claiming she is "mad," she reclaims her sense of self, exposes the cruelty of his manipulation, and takes satisfaction in seeing him brought to justice. In this scene, she reveals several important psychological shifts. When Paula says, "If I were not mad, I could have helped you," she acknowledges that a conventional, devoted wife might have felt obligated to protect or forgive him despite his wrongdoing. However, when she adds, "But because I am mad, I hate you," she uses his own weapon against him. 

     Throughout the film, he has tried to convince her that she is losing her mind in order to control her and steal her aunt's jewels. By embracing the label ironically, she rejects his power and gives voice to the anger she has long suppressed. Her final words, "watching you go with glory in my heart," mark her complete liberation. No longer a frightened victim, Paula is feeling a profound sense of triumph. She takes pride in his downfall, fully aware of the truth and finally free from his psychological manipulation.

 

** Jean’s Small Thoughts:

Whenever I see a relationship in which one partner is constantly abused—physically, emotionally, or psychologically—yet remains with the abuser despite opportunities to leave, I find it difficult to understand. I often wonder what causes victims to stay silent or muffled and endure continued mistreatment. Psychologists explain that when a person is manipulated or gaslit by a spouse or partner over a long period, they may gradually come to accept the situation as normal and lose sight of a way out.

Watching this classic psychological thriller, I could clearly see how isolation makes a victim especially vulnerable to manipulation. Gregory carefully controls Paula's movements, limits her contact with others, and steadily undermines her confidence until she begins to doubt her own memories and perceptions. As her trust in herself erodes, his control over her grows stronger.

The story also explores the unequal power dynamics between men and women. In the past, married women often had limited legal and social independence, making them particularly vulnerable to domination by their husbands. Against this backdrop, Paula's struggle illustrates how authority and social expectations could be exploited to silence and control women. Seeing instances of workplace sexual harassment today reminds us that abuses of power and hierarchy are not merely relics of the past.

I hope we can all develop enough self-awareness and inner confidence to view our circumstances objectively and act when necessary. By trusting our own judgment and preserving our sense of self, we can ensure that no one is able to silence our voices or take control of our lives for their own benefit.

Soccer Slang

Are you a soccer fan? The World Cup 2026 is just around the corner! Put your soccer knowledge to the test! See how familiar you are with the popular slang and expressions used by fans, players, and commentators. From match-day phrases to locker-room talk, discover how well you speak the language of the game.

 

    1.   "Golazo," based on Spanish soccer slang, means what? (         )

          a.    defender kicking the ball away

          b.   A spectacular or outstanding goal

          c.   A yellow card issued by a referee

          d.   A shot that narrowly misses the goal

   

    2.   What is "early doors" in soccer? (         )

a.   The opening phase of a match

b.   A match that begins before noon

c.   A team pressing aggressively after kickoff

d.   The start of extra time in the gam

  

    3.   "Tekkers" originated in U.K. soccer slang. What does it refer to? (            )

a.   A player's position on the field

b.   Technical skill and ball control

c.   Tactical formations used by a team

d.   Defensive positioning near the goal

 

    4.   What does "upper 90" mean? (       )

a.   match with no goals at 90 minutes

b.   A defensive setup at the top of the box

c.   The top corner of the goal

d.   The highest section of stadium seating

 

    5.   What is a "clean sheet"? (         )

a.   A game with no fouls called against either team

b.   A game where neither side manages to score

c.   A game where one team keeps the other from scoring

d.   A season where a team does not lose any matches

 

    6.   What is a "brace" in a soccer match? (        )

a.   A goalkeeper blocking a penalty kick

b.   A player scoring two goals in a match

c.   A player assisting a goal in a match

d.   A match ending in a tied score

 

    7.   If a commentator says "worldie," what are they talking about? (        )

a.   A player dribbling through multiple defenders

b.   A player's kick narrowly missing the goal

c.   A goalkeeper making a spectacular diving save

d.   A player scoring an amazing, impressive goal

 

    8.   When a single player scores exactly three goals in a single match, we call it (             )-trick.

 

    9.   T______-T_______ is a possession-heavy playing style made famous by Spanish teams, focused on short, quick, and continuous passing to control the game.

 

    10. G___________ is a slang for the team's manager or head coach.

 

Answer Keys

    1.  b

    2.  a

    3.  b

    4.  c

    5.  c

    6.  b

    7.  d

    8.  hat-trick

    9.  Tiki-Taka

    10. gaffer

POSITIVE WAYS to DESCRIBE PEOPLE!

Do you usually notice the positive qualities in the people around you? Or do you hesitate to offer compliments when they are deserved? A little kindness can go a long way. By making an effort to recognize and appreciate the good in others, we can help create a more positive and encouraging environment for everyone.

Why don't you fill in the blanks below with positive adjectives? Each sentence is an excerpt from a book or a film.

 

1.   “Madame, the most kind, the most ami__________ (meaning “diffusing warmth and friendliness”) are not always the cleverest.” …..from Murder on the Orient Express

 

2.   She seemed the very embodiment of bl________me (meaning “carefree and happy and lighthearted) happiness.  …..from the novel “Long Day: The Story of a New York Working Girl, as Told by Herself” by Dorothy Richardson

 

3.   When someone felt ch______able (meaning “showing or motivated by sympathy and generosity”), our bellies were relatively full.  …..from “The Shakespeare Stealer” by Gary Blackwood

 

4.   I look very dapper, very d_____air (meaning “having a sophisticated charm”), don't I?.... from the film “LIFE (film, 1999)”

 

5.   Caroline is tiny and ex_____ite (meaning “of extreme beauty”), her blonde curls framing a face that is glowing with laughter, her arms outstretched to whoever is taking the picture. ….from “Jacob have I loved (film, 1989)”

 

6.   Yeah, and we were fa____ful (meaning “loyal and reliable”) for two of them….from “Wedding Crashers (film, 2005)”

 

7.   Minions dressed as knights declare: "Fear not, for here come the g____ant (meaning “being attentive and courteous like an ideal knight”) knights to save us." …..from the animated series “Despicable Me 2 (2013)”

 

8.   She described Percy as brave and h______ic (meaning “having qualities appropriate for brave figures”), which made him uncomfortable. …..from novel “The Son of Neptune” by Rick Riordan

 

9.   Are you aware that is the first combination of bascule and suspension bridge? Most innovative. What an indus_______ (meaning “characterized by hard work and perseverance”) empire! ….from “Sherlock Holmes (film, 2009)”

 

10. He moved with a jau_____ (meaning “having a cheerful, lively, and self-confident air”), almost cocky rhythm, carrying himself like someone who owned the neighborhood. …from “Goodfellas (film, 1990)”

 

 

Answer Keys

    1.  amiable

    2.  blithesome

    3.  charitable

    4.  debonair

    5.  exquisite

    6.  faithful

    7.  gallant

    8.  heroic

    9.  industrious

    10. jaunty

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #66. The Drift (film, 2026)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you take delight in watching films, listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#66. The Drift (film, 2026)

Emily, a competitive figure skater, wakes up stranded on a small drifting ice floe in the Arctic after a remote training trip goes wrong. With only a few supplies, a handful of nuts, a damaged phone, and her sister’s ashes, she must rely on her survival skills as rescue efforts fade and the harsh conditions take their toll.

 

(Emily happens to connect with a call center guy on her damaged cellphone): “Can I ask you something? Have you ever think about death? If someone's out here, they're not making it easy. Strong winds and snowfall have obscured any tracks. Help! Help! No, no, no, don't hang up. Send somebody to help me. I am begging you.”

ð     At this point in the story, Emily is stranded alone on a drifting ice floe in the Arctic Ocean. Her situation is becoming increasingly dire as the ice beneath her continues to melt, while her damaged phone is running out of battery. By unbelievable chance, she reaches Harry, a customer service representative working for an air-conditioning company, and begins talking with him as a way to stay connected to another human being. When Emily asks whether he ever thinks about death, the question comes from more than simple curiosity. Facing the possibility of dying in the frozen wilderness, she is confronting her own mortality and the growing realization that rescue may never arrive. Her remark, “If someone is out here, they’re not making it easy…,” reflects both the harsh, unforgiving nature of the Arctic and her mounting frustration that help seems distant, uncertain, and increasingly unlikely to reach her in time.

 

(Emily said): “The ice doesn't care if you're a champion. The cold doesn't care if you're brave.”

ð     Emily realizes that she cannot change the reality of her situation. The ice beneath her is gradually melting, and she is completely alone. By accepting what she cannot control, she conserves precious mental and emotional energy that would otherwise be wasted on panic.

Survival demands complete attention to the moment at hand. Dwelling on the future brings hopelessness, while looking back encourages regret. Emily learns that her best chance of survival lies in focusing entirely on what she can do right now.

Remaining calm is not only a psychological advantage but also a physical necessity. In extreme cold, panic can be deadly because it increases heart rate and promotes sweating, which accelerates heat loss and eventually raises the risk of hypothermia. Emily’s mindset becomes a survival strategy, helping her stay composed and conserve energy. This perspective ultimately becomes one of her greatest strengths, allowing her to endure conditions that might otherwise overwhelm her both mentally and physically.

 

**Jean’s Small Thoughts:

Films that depict a person struggling to survive an unimaginable disaster are never easy to watch. What makes stories like this so unsettling is not only the overwhelming danger the character faces, but also the realization that most of us do not know how we would react in such circumstances. When confronted with the unknown, staying calm and holding ourselves together can be far more difficult than we imagine.

At a certain point in the film, Emily reaches an unexpected state of freedom. Stripped of everyday pressures, obligations, and expectations, she is left with a single objective: to stay alive. Surrounded by the vast emptiness of the Arctic, life is reduced to its most basic essentials, bringing with it a rare sense of clarity and purpose.

Watching Emily navigate her fear, anxiety, frustration, acceptance, and determination reminds me of learning to swim as a child. I was terrified of deep water. My body would become tense and rigid, and I depended completely on an inflatable tube to keep me afloat. My father once told me, “The more force you put into your body, the harder it is to stay afloat. The moment you relax, the water will support you.”

His words have stayed with me ever since. Whenever I feel anxious or overwhelmed, I think about that lesson. Like Emily, I try to focus on the present moment rather than getting trapped in regrets about the past or worries about the future. Sometimes, simply staying grounded in the here and now is enough to carry us through another day. But I am still afraid of the open waters filled with a lot of the unknown. How has your daily struggle or fight against harsh reality been going? 

Time to play the Sunday Puzzle from NPR! Find the words/ phrases in which the 1st syllable sounds like "FAIR" in any spelling!

 Every answer is a word, name, or a familiar phrase in which the first syllable is pronounced "fair" in any spelling.

(Ex. Locale for an exhibition --> FAIRGROUND)

 

1. Long stretch on a golf course

2. Alternative to Celsius in temperatures

3. Alaska city just south of the Arctic Circle

4. Boat that transports passengers across a river or body of water

5. Monarch in ancient Egypt

6. Medical term for the throat

7. Revolving ride at an amusement park

8. "Cinderella" or "Hansel and Gretel"

9. Small, domesticated animal related to the European polecat

10. Historical Jewish sect in the Gospels and Acts of the Apostles

11. County of northern Virginia that's adjacent to Washington, D.C.

12. Actress Morgan

13. Louis who leads the Nation of Islam

14. Chemical secreted by the body that's a stimulant to others

15. Fond goodbye

 

Answer Keys

     1.      Fairway

     2.      Fahrenheit

     3.      Fairbanks

     4.      Ferry

     5.      Pharaoh

     6.      Pharynx

     7.      Ferris Wheel

     8.      Fairytales

     9.      Ferret

    10.  Pharisees

    11.  Fairfax

    12.  Fairchild

    13.  Farrakhan

    14.  Pheromones

    15.  Fairwell

Silly Jokes for Fun

Do you enjoy some silly, Dad jokes? Or you never laugh because you don’t easily get the punchlines that go over your head or the jokester happens to butcher a corny joke in English? Hope you get the hidden meanings of idioms used in the jokes and enjoy them for your relaxing weekend.

 

“Why was the math book sad?

Because it has too many problems.”

 

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

Because they don’t have the guts.”

 

“Why was the calendar nervous?

Because their days are numbered.”

 

“Why do cows wear bells?

Because they horns don’t work.”

 

“Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.”

 

“Why are frogs so happy?

Because they eat whatever bugs them.”

“Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crum(b)y.”

 

“What did the grape say when someone stepped on it?

Nothing. It just let out a little wine (whine).”

 

“What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.”

 

So, are you rolling your eyes now or laughing out loud? Hope you enjoyed them even for a minute!

Color Idioms!

What is the right color to describe yourself or what is your favorite color? Today, we would like to work on some color idioms. Fill in the following blanks with the right color for the given sentences to make sense.

 

1.   My b_________ flag (meaning ‘odd but not boring behavior’ which is not super positive or negative; unique and unfiltered personality quirks that are just "there") is that I always wear a blue tank on my road race days and red on my midterms or the finals.

 

2.   Ralph was a b__________ sheep in his family. (meaning ‘a member of a group who is different from the rest in a negative way’)

 

3.   Seeing Marty at the party was a bolt from the b________! (meaning ‘completely unexpected and surprising’) He had never attended an office party before.

 

4.   Joseph has been br_______-nosing his manager to survive the second wave of layoff. (meaning ‘to act in an excessively submissive way to gain someone’s favour’)

 

5.   Ken and Jenna were ready to paint the town r_______. (meaning ‘to party or celebrate in a rowdy/wild manner’)

 

6.   I wish I had a g_______________ thumb. I even killed die-hard snake plants. (meaning ‘to have a knack for making plants grow well; to be very good at gardening’)

 

7.   Figuring out when playful teasing turns into workplace harassment can be a difficult moral gr_______ area. (meaning ‘something without a clear rule or answer’)

 

8.   I was tickled p________ when I saw him. (meaning ‘very pleased or amused’)

 

9.   You expect the world to give you everything on a s_________ platter? Just wake up and get real! (meaning ‘to give someone something without them having to work or make an effort to get it’)

 

10. Listen, y___________ bellied cowards! Why don’t you pick on someone who can actually fight back? (meaning ‘not having courage’; cowardly’- This adjective can imply a sense of contempt or disapproval.)

 

 

*Answer Keys

1. beige flag

2. black sheep

3. a bolt from the blue

4. brown-nosing

5. paint the town red

6. a green thumb

7. grey

8. tickled pink

9. on a silver platter

10. yellow-bellied