LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE
Do you take delight in watching films,
listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs,
and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You
can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of
wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.
#70. Maestro (film, 2023)
In between
his complex connections with his beloved wife Felicia (pla
yed by Carey Mulligan)
and his amorous relationship with clarinetist David Oppenheim, Maestro Leonard
Burnstein (played by Bradley Cooper) experienced an unimaginable tempest of
emotions throughout his life.
Leonard
Bernstein fell in love with Felicia Cohn Montealegre, an actress, despite his
sexual orientation and preference for men. The two went on to establish a
family. Felicia's career stagnates while Leonard's soars after they get married
and have three kids together. Felicia is deceived and perplexed by Bernstein's
admission that he prefers male company when traveling and working at the
studio, but she makes a concerted effort to keep their family and her husband’s
reputation intact from the harassing public.
(Lennie’s
sister Shirley Bernstein said to Felicia): “There is a price for being in my brother’s
orbit, you know that. As much as he’d love to believe the opposite is true.”
ð Shirley
Bernstein makes this candid comment about her brother in the scene of the one-on-one
conversation with Leonard's wife Felicia on their picnic. This scene indirectly
shows the possible tension between Lennie and his wife, which is the draining
reality of falling in love with an extraordinarily talented artist.
Shirley knows that her brother Bernstein's energy is depleting. Thus, every room was dominated by his ego, talent, and celebrity. It might be natural that everyone in his immediate vicinity was compelled to revolve around his demands. Shirley assumes that Bernstein’s presence has totally overshadowed his loved ones' – especially his wife Felicia’s – uniqueness.
On top of it all, it was necessary to endure his erratic whims in order to love him. Felicia had to put up with his untidy, public encounters with men. In order to control his pandemonium, Felicia stifled her own acting career. He had to settle for whatever affection he had left. The conviction that "The Opposite is True" in the position of Lennie Bernstein shows deep narcissism. When it came to his influence, Bernstein had serious blind spots. He sincerely thought that others were inspired by his unending affection. In some ways, he used his artistic reputation as an excuse for his careless action and was blissfully oblivious to the emotional rubble in his life.
(Felicia
said to Shirley): “I do understand what you mean. Well, it’s very strange, but
I do believe there is that in everybody. One wishes to make adjustments to
oneself,j but having this imposition of a strong personality is like a way of
death. Really. Yet the moment I see that it is making him suffer, well, I
realize it’s not worth it. No. What for? It isn’t going to kill me. If it was
going to give him pleasure or stop him from suffering and it’s in my power to
do it then what the hell? But one has to do it completely without sacrifice.
And if there’s going to be a sacrifice, then I disappear.”
ð Felicia
reflects on the difficult reality of loving someone with an outsized
personality. She describes the delicate balance between willingly making
sacrifices for a loved one and losing yourself in the process. She means to say
the emotional cost of living in the shadow of a partner whose powerful presence
can gradually overshadow your own identity. Felicia knows in her head that
every relationship requires compromise, but living with a powerful and
demanding personality like Leonard Bernstein's can feel emotionally
overwhelming. She understands that constantly giving in risks slowly erasing
her own identity.
Still, she chooses to make sacrifices because she loves Leonard and wants to ease his struggles by convincing herself that these compromises are acts of love freely given, not obligations forced upon her. However, at the same time, she draws a line. She refuses to become bitter or lose her sense of self completely. When she says, “Then I disappear,” she acknowledges that if preserving the marriage requires sacrificing her dignity, she must emotionally or physically step away. This scene captures the heartbreaking tension between devotion and self-preservation—a balance Felicia struggles to maintain throughout her marriage.
(Lennie
Bernstein said): “I have one or two saving factors. One is that I love people
and I love music. I love music so much. It keeps me glued to life even when I’m
most depressed. But I have work ethic and that keeps me afloat. And the other
is that I love people so much that it’s hard for him to be alone. Which is part
of my struggle as a composer.”
ð We
could see Bernstein's internal struggle throughout his life in this scene. He
was drawn to the excitement of large gatherings, but composing music
necessitates complete seclusion. His severe depression was exacerbated by his
isolation even though his work ethic and love of music kept him alive like a
saving grace.
(Bernstein continued to say): “I mean, can one really believe that man is just trapped animal. He’s a victim of his own greed and follies. Either one believes in divine element in this or one doesn’t. As long as I believe it, which I assume is why I love people so much, then I have to believe that in some remote corner of my soul there is a way out.”
ð Bernstein
reflects on a profound question in his life. He asks if humanity is doomed by
its flaws, or if there is a divine spark within each of us. While he
acknowledges both possibilities, he chooses to believe in the goodness and
spiritual potential of people. His deep love for humanity strengthens his faith
that growth, healing, and redemption are possible. In the end, Bernstein
concludes that no matter how difficult life may be, there is always hope,
purpose, and a path forward rooted in the best part of our human nature.
** Jean’s Small Thoughts:
I found this
film both uncomfortable and thought-provoking because it portrays a
larger-than-life figure in classical music struggling with one of the most
fundamental aspects of his identity: his sexuality. Living in a time when
diversity in sexual orientation was often viewed as unacceptable, Leonard
Bernstein faced pressures that no one should have to endure. Although society
has become more open-minded in many ways, people are still marginalized and
judged simply for being who they are. It raises an important question: Who has
the right to decide the “correct” way to live? Why should anyone be criticized
or stigmatized because of their identity, beliefs, or way of life?
Another theme
that stayed with me is the nature of relationships. Any relationship can become
difficult when one person’s power, fame, or need for admiration overshadows the
other. When someone is constantly sacrificing their own needs and identity,
love can gradually become unhealthy and unbalanced. Over time, trust and mutual
respect may begin to crumble. If a relationship consistently makes you feel
diminished or unseen, it may be worth asking whether it can be improved—or
whether walking away is the healthier path toward happiness.
Has anyone of
you out there gone through a relationship in which you feel small as if you became
Dolly Parton’s feet under the shadow of her big upper body? Maybe you need to
think about your relationship. Either to change it for the better or leave it
for happiness.
