Saying goodbye to my own parent…

There is nothing more fearful to the ones who are living far away from their aging parents with oceans apart than to get an emergency call in the middle of the night. To me, having a shallow night’s sleep in a regular bed of nails has just felt like normal for all those years.  The vaguely devastating time came into being as a harsh reality on the night of January 6^th. Mom’s voice from the other side of the phone sounded like a candle in the wind. “Jean, it’s about time we all needed to get together for dad….” I flew right the next day with my husband and our son Hans.

What was waiting for us was my struggling dad connected to multitudinous needles and tubes in the ICU. When we arrived there, six hopeless eyes – of mom, older sister, and brother-in-law – welled up with tears were staring at dad lying almost lifeless in his narrow hospital bed. Since dad was a COPD patient, his doctors have warned all along that there will come the moment of acute exacerbation due to hypercapnia someday, and we can’t expect anything like convalescence in this disease. It was not the doctors’ froideur but cold reality we needed to face. The moment I saw and read his lips through the tube stuck in his respiratory tract, all I could think of was just that we’d need to rid him of all this pain as soon as possible. Dad’s lips are telling us to “REMOVE! REMOVE the tube! REMOVE!”. In this circumstance full of pain, nothing could be viewed inhumane or inconsiderate to help him free of pain, even if it means all the life-saving devices or services are pulled off.  Sigh….

That night, his doctor and all our family had a serious discussion on whether there should be tracheotomy for the purpose of prolonging his life or just we should let him go peacefully when his lungs and heart have done their jobs without further treatments or surgery until their final moment. Hard. Sad. Devastated. Yet one thing that we all agreed upon was that there should be NO MORE PAIN added to my ailing father. We didn’t even have time to cry or get emotional about this whole situation. Mom signed the DNR order presented by the doctor that night. She looked absent-minded, and we all felt totally numb in the dreary hospital hallway.

In the throes of fast deteriorations in every corner of his body, Dad was conscious and responding to each and every one of our comments and prayers for him. He could eat half of the small tub of yogurt and thin rice grits spoon-fed by me. As the sun was about to set on the 6^th day of our arrival, dad started to get delirious and spat out meaningless talk, such as “five plus one…..totals six…..  Yes! No!........one plus five…..”. I instantly caught the end of his sentence and started to chime in saying “Yes, daddy! You’re right! Five plus one totals six! Amazing! Good job!” Our ping pong of meaningless talk lasted about a few minutes…..and then, he was gradually falling asleep. As the night deepened, he was becoming farther, distant, …..and out of reach from us all. Even the death rattle was gone. The delirious talk between me and my dad was our one last conversation in this world, which was my dad’s last gift to me.

To the lady, whom we call our loving mother and who has spent 52 golden years with her husband, the world must feel totally different now. Empty. Lonely. Frustrated. In search of somebody to fulminate against…… but peaceful at the same time with the thought that her husband is finally not in the breathless pain. A new day, a new night, and a new life have begun in front of mom. We all know that dad must be up there in Heaven, watching over us all with a smile. Hopefully and desperately, he is not smoking elsewhere…..   Goodbye, my doting daddy…but goodbye doesn’t mean we will forget you. We will love you more each day forever and ever more.

Expressions

bed of nails: (idiomatic expression) difficult and unpleasant situation

to come into being: (verb) to begin existence

multitudinous: (noun) very numerous; existing in great numbers/ consisting of many parts

ICU: (noun) Intensive Care Unit (at a hospital)

COPD: (noun) Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, which is an umbrella term used to describe progressive lung diseases. This disease is characterized by increasing breathlessness and develops for years without noticeable shortness of breath. The signs and symptoms of COPD include increased breathlessness, frequent coughing (with and without sputum), wheezing, and tightness in the chest.

exacerbation: (noun) an increase in the severity of a disease or its signs and symptoms.

hypercapnia: (noun) excessive carbon dioxide in the bloodstream, typically caused by inadequate respiration

convalescence: (noun) recovery or recuperation from an illness

froideur: (noun) originated from French, meaning “cold attitude’ or “superiority”

tracheotomy: (noun)  an incision in the windpipe made to relieve an obstruction to breathing

DNR order: (noun) DNR stands for “Do Not Resuscitate”, which is a medical order written by a doctor. It instructs health care providers not to do cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if a patient's breathing stops or if the patient's heart stops beating.

death rattle: (idiomatic expression) As the end of a patient is coming near, his or her breath becomes labored and ‘gurgling’, which can sound alarming. However, this is quite normal and caused by secretions pooling in the back of the throat.

to fulminate: (verb) to criticize severely/ to express vehement protest

  

Science Should Not be Just a Theory of Others. It is Our Life.

What comes to your mind first when you hear or think of the word Science? Would it be one of those boring school subjects? Would it be no more than a closed book of information or facts?

One of the characteristic features of Science classes from K through 12 in the US  is that students are provided with a variety of hands-on activities, which would boost the students’ interest in “doing” Science rather than simple “reading and memorizing” the contents in their books. Through participating in various firsthand experiences by means of conducting experiments in the science class, students can be more self-empowered learners and develop more intrinsic motivation to become a real scientist.

For instance, I have seen quite arresting Science projects in junior high schools and high schools around my local area. Those Science classes were not providing students with boring platitudes from lectures, but rather exciting and challenging tasks to complete. What I have seen includes as follows:

Sixth graders are introduced to the Earth Science by creating an erupting volcano, through which they discover chemical reactions in a fun-filled way.  In seventh grade, they are involved in an interesting Biology project called “leaf project”. The students and their Science teacher go on a hiking to select different kinds of fallen leaves, with which they would analyze the blades and veins of each. What an intriguing project it is! The final year in Science class of the junior high school introduces students to the basic mechanism of machine’s operation. The nationwide famous project called Rube Goldberg enables students to become a fabulous machine designer. In high schools, Physics class has two huge projects to teach students about buoyancy and how different shapes of objects affect on speed in air and water. For the boat project, only cardboard and duct tape given by the teacher are used. The point is that their paper boat should float and do the round-trip in the swimming pool with one of the group members on borad to get a full credit. Yikes! The row-boat should be accurately designed with a VERY scientific mindset. LOL

Who knows if there’ll be a brilliant child at a Science Fair will jump for joy with his own discovery, shouting “Mom, Dad, I found a cure for cancer!!!” Oh, it is not just our wild imagination. Check out the following link about a prodigy boy who found a cancer test. Amazing.

http://www.mindxplore.org/2016/01/15-year-old-puts-cancer-industry-to.html

Expressions

K through 12: kindergarten through 12^th grade, that is primary and secondary education (The grade division differs from each school district, but normally, in this order in the US: (preschool) è kindergarten è elementary school (1^st grade through 5^th grade) è middle school (6^th, 7^th, and 8^th grades) è high school (9^th, 10^th, 11^th, and 12^th grades)

hands-on activities: the activities in which you do something rather than just talk about it

self-empowered: being self-empowered makes it possible for you to sense of self worth, your right to have and determine choices, your right to have access to opportunities, and your right to have the power to control your own life

intrinsic motivation: the motivation caused/kindled by the joy and real nature of somebody or something (ó extrinsic motivation: the motivation that makes you do something for the purpose of obtaining an external reward or outcome)

arresting: eye-catching, interesting, striking

platitudes: a flat, dull, insipid, or trite remarks

blades and veins of a leaf: the blade is the broad, flat part of the leaf; the vein is any of the very thin tubes that form the frame of a leaf

(The Blade, or lamina, is the broad, flat part of the leafwww.robinsonlibrary.com/science/botany/anatomy/leafparts.htm)

intriguing: interesting because of being unusual or not having an obvious answer

Rube Goldberg: (in a humorous way, of machines or devices) having a very complicated/ intricately designed device or contraption especially when used to perform a very simple task; not practical. (e.g. chain reaction ) The name “Rube Goldberg” is named after American cartoonist and inventor Rube Goldberg (1883–1970)

Whose Land Is America?

This is a little piece of poem that I wrote a while ago when I visited Cleveland, Ohio.  There I had a chance to visit the Native American Indian museum and Cuyahoga valley where those Native American Indian tribes used to inhabit long, long time ago.  I had such a sad feeling touring the areas imagining how the people of the land might have felt when they were confronted with strangers from the other side of the world. Today, we still witness a lot of heartbreaking and perplexing incidents where one ethnic group hates and maltreats the others just because of difference in skin color, faith, culture, and groundless misconception or prejudice against them.  It is so absurd for one race not to tolerate the existence or prosperity of the others in this country, which was established and developed by the invaders from the outside. Since when has it percolated through to us that such and such type of people with different ideas or ethnicities are inferior to the so-called “holier-than-thou” hegemonic class that is seemingly so condescending in this society? Who is the owner of this territory? Who is the voice of this nation? Whose land is America?  

An Ode to Cuyahoga Valley

by Jean Lee

Along the twists and turns of the river,

All the leaves dredged in summer green holler with pain.

Listening to their roar,

We were led back to the remnant of the old days slain.

Who was it wearing innocent smiles in the upland plateau?

When was it that the indefatigable spirit got ousted with tear?

The Great blue Heron in the valley gives you a magnificent wing span

quite pseudo,

But her eyes are telling you the past in fear.

Streaming sounds mixed in the waterfall

Echo the voice lost for good, I'd say.

Breezy forest full of weeping wild flowers so tall

Resembles the hopeless eyes of yesterday.

Expressions

to be confronted with something: to have something in front of you that you have to deal with or react to    e.g., High school kids today have no time to savor their beautiful young days because they are confronted with so many things to complete on their plates: school projects, back-to-back tests, and extracurricular activities.

perplexing: confusing, anxious, hard to understand      

e.g., You’ll never imagine how perplexing the situation of gun control in this country is today!

to percolate through to ~: to gradually become known or spread through (a group/ society)

holier-than-thou: showing that one thinks that he/she is morally better than other people

e.g., The arrogant coach’s holier-than-thou attitude has made all his players sick!

condescending: hauty/ snobbish/ disdainful/ showing that you believe that you are something or someone more intelligent than other people

ode: a poem that celebrates or speaks to somebody/ something     e.g., Have you read John Keats’ “Ode to a Nightingale”? It is a profound exploration of life and death with the sense of impermanence of life.

to holler: to shout/ yell loudly

remnant: a part of something that is left after the other parts have been used, removed, or destroyed

plateau: an area of flat land that is higher than the land around it

to get ousted: to be forced out of a position of power/ out of a job

e.g., The government got finally ousted by the years of rebels.

pseudo: false or pretended   e.g., His claim that taking multi-vitamins is a useless habit is based on pseudoscience that cannot be legitimized by controlled experiments. 

Small Thoughts on the 8 Years of President Obama’s Hope and Frustration

The year of 2008 would be remembered and cherished by many American people in that the first African American president was elected as their commander in chief in the U.S. history. As might have been expected, the past eight years have been peppered with political logjam and economic turbulence. Mr. Barack Obama’s presidential campaign promises have been viewed and examined from different angles. Some may argue that his plans and commitments were disappointing and have fallen short of people’s expectation as one could see in the gun control getting out of hand and the technically botched health care system. Others may still be pulling for Obama administration’s achievement by claiming that he has kept his words when it comes to the 2008 catchphrase “CHANGE” just by the fact that they had a black President.

With all the excitement, anger, disappointment, kudos, and things that leave much to be desired about his presidency on the wane and running out of steam, President Obama reminisced not only the unsubdued debates on immigration or gun control but hope as well in his valedictory State of the Union speech on January 12, 2016. He was quoted as saying that “It's one of the few regrets of my presidency that the rancor and suspicion between the parties has gotten worse instead of better.” However, President Obama confidently wrapped up his speech by going on to say that “America is the most powerful nation on Earth. Period.” Yes, no matter what, this is the spirit that a nation’s leader needs to ensure in front of his people. It is strong conviction and unity, not a division or polarization, that keep the motto of the U.S. “E Pluribus Unum” stay alive. Mr. President, I know you have grubbed out in such a harsh world of bare-knuckle politics. No one could have ever coasted through it all. Thank you.

Expressions

.. in that  Subject   +  Verb: the clause meaning “for the reason that….”

e.g., The new school cafeteria is better in that it serves a lot of fresh salads and fruits on a daily basis.

to be peppered with something: a lot of something was included in

e.g, Her speech was peppered with self-congratulatory remarks.

political logjam: political deadlock where reaching agreement is impossible

(*Visualize a huge log floating along the stream and come to block the stream at one point so that there’s no more flowing of water)

to argue that…: to maintain or claim that….

to fall (far) short of ….: to fail to reach the standard that one expected or need

e.g., The restaurant fell far short of my expectation! Their specialty appetizer was too salty.

technically: according to the exact meaning or facts

e.g., It is still technically possible for you to get to the airport on time (although it seems too late).

botched: spoiled/ failed

to pull for someone: to support or root/cheer for someone, to go whole hog for someone

 e.g., Which baseball team are you pulling for?

on the wane: declining/ fading away

to run out of steam:

unsubdued: (something is not) brought under control

valedictory: farewell speech

to go on to say that…: to continue to say that….

E Pluribus Unum: out of many, one

to grub out: to do one’s very best/ to go all out

to coast through: to proceed without great effort

Are Your Teenaged Children Staying Happy, Safe, and Sound?

Teen years are normally described as the period of “storm and stress”. For some reason that other age groups do not easily understand, teen-aged boys and girls get cranky, uptight, and very impressionable. With all things considered about the adolescent period, parents of teenagers need to take a deep breath, get ready to face all different kinds of unexpected incidents – which are often emotionally charged – throughout their kids’ junior-high and high school years.

The most terrifying incident that could happen on high school campus would be gun violence or bully. Both gun violence and bullying against random children are mind-boggling, heartrending, and traumatic not only to children but also to their family in every way.  Today, I would like to talk about school bully, which is surreptitiously killing so many of our children both in and out of classrooms. With innumerable ways of contacting – Facebook, Twitter, Snap chat, Instagram, Cell phone Texting, etc- with one another, kids stay connected 24/7. It is good for them to exchange their feelings and thoughts at any time by means of those fast contact tools. However, quite a lot of them misuse the network for the purpose of ganging up against a random student, leaving him or her left out for no reason. Since the students bullied by the others do not always step up and speak out about the soul-shattering situation, I believe that parents or guardians of teenaged children are supposed to stay alert (if not become completely unperturbed in times of crisis) and ready to listen to them all the time. There’s no waiting for tomorrow when it comes to sparing some “vis-à-vis” moments with your children. I firmly believe that a stitch in time saves nine, especially in regards to dealing with “school drama” to save kids.

Here’s a piece of poem written by a high school student who won the first prize at “Anti-bully Campaign” (2012)

Searching for a Hero in You

By Hans Son

Have you seen the face of a lost child before?

Have you felt the torment of a loner to the core?

Who could turn away from their shout unheard?

Who would let go of their pain so absurd?

Tossed in empty space breathing different air,

A soul being chipped away by a group of hostile glare,

His hopeless eyes are hollering at me, “Are you there?”

Before another day comes that resembles his cry of yesterday,

I give him my promise that peace and harmony are already on their way.

Heartless fellows should not be the reason for his restless night.

Invisible bruises inside of him have finally come to light.

No more escaping or succumbing ahead.

Delight in raising his voice and saying goodbye to festered dread.

Words of gratitude or tears of joy are not expected of him now.

A hint of winning smile brought back to his face is to what I take a bow.

Have you seen the face of a friend pushed around before?

Have you touched his wound that is unimaginably sore?

(Copyright © Hans Son, 2016. All Rights Reserved)

Expressions

storm and stress: adolescent period (normally ranging the age of 13 through 19) during which they conflict with parents, go through mood disruptions, and risky behavior

impressionable: easily affected by something/ somebody without critical thinking

emotionally-charged: something that is deeply associated with emotions,  highly disturbing or very difficult/annoyed    e.g., emotionally-charged conversations about gun situations in America

surreptitiously: secretly and quickly (in the hope that no other people will notice)

to stay alert: to stay aware of some kind of danger

unperturbed: undisturbed/ undismayed/ poised/ untroubled

vis-à-vis:  face-to-face     e.g., vis-à-vis talk

drama: slang meaning that the atmosphere where people make a small problem seem more important or serious than it really is.   E.g., I am tired of seeing high school drama among my girl friends that make a fuss out of nothing!

Let’s break out of Broken English!

Throughout the years of teaching English, one of the most frequently asked questions from students was “Is it okay to use outdated or dead English words that are not in use today?” Hmm…..good question! I said to myself ‘How old is considered TOO antiquated when it comes to English expressions?’ Some of my colleagues in the foreign language institute (back in Seoul, Korea) said he even felt challenged by a ton of newly coined idioms and phrases. Well, in this fast-paced world where lots of new chopped or abbreviated forms of words are replacing the existing ones, it is hard to tell the old from the new. The point is as long as you do not use broken English or vernacular style of English, you can still make yourselves effectively understood in the language. Yes! English is a widely used medium of communication in the world today. If you wish to get your ideas across clearly in English, the first thing you need to think about is how to use expressions accurately instead of worrying about their possible obsolescence.

Here’s a list of commonly misued/ broken English expressions in Korea (or so-called Konglish) and the correct expressions for each.

Broken English                                Correct English

overeat (오바이트)                     throw up/ vomit

remokon (리모콘)                      remote Control

hochikis (호치키스)                    stapler                                              

sel-ca (쎌카)                             selfie

apart (아파트)                           apartment

cunning (컨닝)                          cheating

PD (피디)                                  producer (not in abbreviated form)

Autobi (오토바이)                       motorbike

eye shopping (아이쇼핑)            window shopping

one room (원룸)                        studio or efficiency apartment

Fighting!(화이팅!)                     Go! Go! Attaboy!/Attagirl!

hand phone (핸드폰)                 cell phone

hamburger set (햄버거 세트)       combo or basket

Expressions

antiquated: outdated or old-fashioned

newly coined: recently created/ made

abbreviated forms: simplified versions of a word that also includes expressions on the Internet chat 

e.g., P.S.= Post Script, D.I.Y.= Do It Yourself (meaning creating by yourself), A.S.A.P. = As Soon As Possible,  B.Y.O.B. = Bring Your Own Beverage, LOL = Laugh Out Loud,  ROFL = Rolling On the Floor Laughing, OMG = Oh, My Gosh!/ Oh, My God!,  OMW= On My Way, CUL = See You Later, TBT = Throwback Thursday, FF = Friday Flashback (meaning sharing the old photo/ thing on the Instagram)

vernacular: the style of language that shows local color or regional dialect  (one type of modified language)

medium of communication: the means/ method of conveying one’s thoughts and ideas

to get one’s ideas across/ to get across one’s message: to make one’s ideas or points understood/ to convey one’s message to others

obsolescence: the state of being no longer in use because something newer or more efficient has been formed  

What makes an admirable leader?

In any group or organization, we need someone in the middle who leads the entire body. Success or failure of group projects at school or work often depends on how their leaders orchestrate things that could have led to a smash hit or a debacle.

My morning partner on the way to the gym early at dawn is always the news updates by Dan Damon on BBC World Updates from NPR (National Public Radio). One of the frequent world reports these days is from the Republic of Korea, regarding the unprecedented political scandal of the president Park, Keun-hye and her personal close friend who was the influence peddler. Now that people are waiting for the verdict of the Constitutional Court on the impeachment of President Park, she is urged to grab her final opportunity to show true leadership as the nation’s commander-in-chief. That is to say, it is incumbent on the president to take the responsibility for her wrongdoings along with the current chaos in Korean society and decide to step down on her own for a drastic cabinet reshuffle. That is how the head of a nation can embrace all his or her people, including not only supporters but adversaries as well. Since a country is not a coterie of members of “the same interest” or something that can break up at any time, the virtue of genuine “leadership” is called for more than in any other time of Korean history.

Since it is hard to find one, I often think of what would make a truly respectable leader in our society in which a lot of charlatans are prevailing. What creates the je ne sais quoi that a more-than-just-qualified leader is supposed to have? First off, a true leader should never let his or her personal greed encroach upon the right and purpose of all. Secondly, we all wish to communicate and become connected with our leader. When a leader stays aloof, turning a deaf ear to people’s voice, leadership goes out the window. Last but not least at all, a genuinely qualified leader needs passion and driving force that would play the role of a real turn-on for people. I never give up dreaming of an admirable leader in our society, nation, and the world who will be the embodiment of what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. asserts as a true leader: “A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus."

Expressions

influence peddler: (noun) the user of position or political influence on someone's behalf in exchange for money or favors. This is a silly generalized illogical phase made up in the 2012 GOP primary by Mitt Romney to describe someone he can't accurately say is a lobbyist

to be incumbent on someone to do….: …is someone’s duty to do…

cabinet reshuffle: (noun) rotations or changes in the composition of ministers in their cabinet

adversaries: (noun) one’s opponent, enemies, or rivals

coterie: (noun) a small group of people who have the same interests and do things together but do not like to include others

charlatan: (noun) (=imposter) a person who claims to have knowledge or skills that they do not have

je ne sais quoi: (French origin) Literally it means "I do not know" in French. But it is actually an euphemism to express a pleasant or desirable characteristic about something or somebody that can't be easily described or explained

to encroach upon…: (verb) to intrude upon or infringe upon…

turn-on: (noun) something that stimulates/interests/appeals to …

Ivy League Schools: A League of Their Own or Just Vain Illusion?!

The biggest and culminating events in most high schools in the U.S. are the commencement ceremony or the national honors society ceremony. On these days, the auditorium or the outdoor football field is filled with teachers of senior students, parents, and graduating students with a great big smile and the sense of achievement on their faces. As students were marching one by one to the stage to receive their official diploma or the national honor society badge, all the eyes present in the audience are following each and every one of the students and become all ears to the principal’s announcement of which colleges they are attending. In the middle of the ceremony, most people feel bored, sleepy, and distracted by text messaging on their cell phones. However, when the principal calls the name of so-called Ivy league colleges where a student is attending, lot of dozing heads in the audience stand up here and there, with their eyes wide-awake and start to scan the student from top to bottom looking askance at the kid.  It could be a feeling of jealousy, envy, doubt, admiration, …….or a sense of defeat for one’s child.

Then what does it mean to get admitted into top notch universities in the States? Would there be a royal road to enter those highly prestigious colleges? Finishing the undergraduate program at Ivy schools are the guaranteed tickets to prosperity after graduation? Sets of newly coined words such as tiger moms, helicopter moms or soccer moms, and even mower moms – who get rid of obstacles before their children march ahead (just like a lawnmower cuts off the long grass) – are telling that quite a lot of parents – especially mothers – have a high expectation and strong enthusiasm for their children’s education. They would follow everywhere their children go and do anything possible for their children’s success in education and career in the future. In most cases, the children of those education aficionadas tend to seek after Ivy school’s diploma in accordance with their parents’ characteristic wishes and thoughts that Harvard or Yale will certainly lead them to a rosy future. However, even if a kid fails in joining the top tier colleges, it will never be a debacle in his/her life. Their success in education does not mean a sudden spasm of excitement at the high school graduation ceremony or a license plate on which titular pride with “Ivy league” is engraved.

Without genuine passion for what they do, their future must be dicey even with Ivy diploma. It is simply because it is WHAT THEY TRULY ARE that makes them in a league of their own.

Expressions                                                                  

culminating: ultimate/ peak

national honors society: the National Honor Society (NHS) is the nationwide organization established to recognize outstanding high school students – who are considered higher than an honor roll- not only with good GPA but also with excellence in the areas of scholarship, leadership, service, and character.

to doze (off): to drowse/ to nap

to look askance at…:to look disapprovingly/ suspiciously at somebody

tiger moms/ helicopter moms/ mower moms: (normally referring to Asian mothers) very demanding and strict mothers who discipline and control their children for the purpose of achieving high level of academic success and prosperity

aficionado/aficionada: somebody who has passion/ enthusiasm/ and lots of knowledge about something

characteristic: typical

debacle: complete collapse/ failure

spasm of: a fit of something

titular: so-called/ name-only (used with somewhat negative connotations)

dicey: uncertain

in a league of one’s own: the best/ the one that stands out