Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support
groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths
through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest
with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food
for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.
Episode 53. Lorrie, My Sweet Valentine
For more than 7 years, she had been the very first person
that I saw every single morning before heading to my clinic. I was always the
very first customer in their parking lot, waiting for the coffee shop Rise &
Shine to open. I had no idea since when, but over the years, I came to
realize that it was not the irreplaceable aroma of their freshly brewed coffee,
but the irresistibly attractive and bright smile of this lady named Lorrie. As
she was taking out her apron on which her name was engraved, she’d wink at me
and said “Oh, c’mon, Dr. J. I know you like me. Stop tip-toeing around me. No
more hem and haw.” Then I would just give her an awkward smile, which
could have looked like “I’m not interested in you, and that’s that.” When
the regular morning crowd started to rush in, Lorrie was already bustling in
and out of the kitchen. I wasn’t able to find the right moment for a pleasant badinage
between Lorrie and me.
Sometimes, I’d stop by Rise & Shine Lorrie on
my way home from work. Their blueberry scones and cherry muffins never let me
down. Even in dusky hours, Lorrie never looked jaded or frazzled even
after a long day. “Hey, Lorrie, you stay here all day, every day, and no time
to spend the money you make. You’re gonna own this place some day, right?” Lorrie
seemed to be amused at my words, but said “Well, I know you’re kidding me, but
who knows? Rise & Shine has often been on our local paper as the best
relaxing coffee shop! I think it is I who has made it possible. Haha…” Yes, it was true that Rise & Shine
had gained critical acclaim for all those years in our community. Cozy
vibe, smiling staff, fresh and deep taste of coffees and teas, delectable refreshments
of all kinds, ….and most of all, Lorrie was the very reason that had turned this
place into people’s major hangout. I asked myself if it’s true interest in her
that evolved into some kind of unhealthy limerence over the years. I
answered my stupid question, not as a shrink, but as one lonely guy: ‘Just quit
analyzing your thoughts and behaviors. Go ask her out, you chicken!...but what
if my teenaged boy’s against his daddy’s romance when his late mom is still
right there in his and my hearts?’
While I was deep in my own thoughts, sipping my tea to
the last drop, I heard Lorrie mumbling in a very low voice “Ugh…so much for
a small talk!” I said “Pardon? Were you saying something to me? Sorry, Lorry, I
was…kinda absent-minded. Are you leaving for home now? Let me give you a ride
tonight.” Lorrie looked a bit surprised, and so did I at my own words. Little
had I imagined that I could ever muster up all my courage to act like
that in front Lorrie.
Lorrie and I had a long talk for the very first time. It
was not at the parking lot or inside the hall of Rise & Shine. We were
just driving around and enjoying endless conversations about how things are
going these day, where we grew up, first love, favorite foods, music, and even
the most traumatic incident in life. Mine was none other than my beloved wife
Demi’s death. Lorrie said she’d had a rough go of it, growing up with no
parental tutelage. Her parents
divorced when she was only 7, and her mom who took the full custody of Lorrie
passed away after 3 years of painful struggling with breast cancer. Her alcoholic
father had been in and out of the rehab, and Lorrie had nowhere to turn to. With
the help of church she and her mother used to belong to, Lorrie was placed with
a foster family. Thorns of life never seemed to be uprooted for the poor girl.
She had been sexually abused and molested by her stepfather and his oldest son
for years.
Lorrie said she did not want anything more than today’s
uneventful, peaceful life that allowed her to make ends meet all by herself.
She went on to say that she must be the happiest waitress of a coffee shop in
the whole world. I said I agreed and knew in my heart that nothing in this
world could ever wear down her spirit. But there was one thing she had missed
out on throughout her harsh life. It was finding or meeting somebody to love
and to be loved by. Lorrie looked surprised again, but nicely and happily surprised
this time, when I smiled and said “I bought this box of chocolates at Rise
& Shine for you. Will you…just…just once….or every year as of today…be
my Valentine, Lorrie?” She quietly winked at me, opening up the box of chocolates
and picked one for her and one for me. “There! Now you’ve finally quit your signature
act of hemming and hawing.” Lorrie’s beautiful smile was sweeter than the chocolate.
She was the happiest waitress who was about to date the happiest shrink in the
world.
Expressions
1. to hem
and haw: to take a long time before making a decision about what
to do
2. That’s
that!: There is nothing more to say or do about it. (The
speaker is trying to indicate that he/she is not changing their decision.)
3. badinage:
humorous and witty conversation
4. jaded:
tired, exhausted, bored, or lacking enthusiasm
5. to
gain critical acclaim: to earn or achieve enthusiastic approval
6. limerence: a
state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and
typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or
maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings
reciprocated
7. So
much for something!: An expression of dismissiveness,
disappointment, disregard, or resignation; something said upon rejecting
8. to muster
up all one’s courage: try hard to find that quality in yourself
because you need it in order to do something
9. to have
a rough go of it: to have a very difficult experience
10.
parental tutelage:
protection or guardianship of parents
Finally, Dr.J falls in love.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for next episode. Well That's that!
😉😊❤
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