Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Remembering my friend Ray: Losing a friend without a chance to say goodbye.

It was 4:40 A.M. on  June 13, 2016. He did not show up yet. Five minutes, ten minutes,…..and even 20 minutes passed than his normal arrival time, but there was not even a shadow of the same old car, in which I saw a smiley old man that I adore as my cater-cousin in his driver’s seat humming his favorite jazz tune, that came into the outdoor parking lot of the local gym. With the bad gut feeling stealthily creeping inside of me, I got out of my car with heavy mind and saw another front desk staff (who became my best friend later on) urgently passing me in her car. She looked very bewildered and distressed. As she and I were walking closer to the gym gate, both of us could read each other’s concerns from the look upon our faces reflected by the dawning light of the day. I said “Well…I hope Ray is alright. Do you cover for him this morning, Patty?” It took her some moment to break the news to me….that I would never want to hear.  She took a deep breath and poured out the four cruel words in her exhale. “Ray has passed away.” ……………………… I was like “Pardon? ….Are you kidding me?........Are you serious?”  The air has felt the most strangling and the heaviest among many a troublesome days recently.
 
Mr. Ray James Wood was an 86-year-old man who had been opening up the local gym in the wee hours for the past 13 years here in Peoria, IL. Among his friends, family, and the gym users like me, he was well known for cracking up people with funny jokes and stories. The kind of person who never scowled at anyone or ever flipped out at any time. A Straight shooter who never violated laws or regulations but flexible staff at the gym at the same time. Whenever asked how he was, he would say, "Couldn't be better. Life is good!" giving his signature smile. Since he came to know that I’m an English educator, he’s frequently asked me to help him solve the crossword puzzle from his daily newspaper, which has been a fun challenge to me. I jokingly said “Wow, isn’t it funny that a native English speaker like you asks a non-native English user for help with his crossword puzzle, Ray? Yes, he was such a fun-loving guy who also loved golf and working in his yard. He sang for years in several of St. Vincent de Paul's choirs, most recently the funeral choir. Furthermore, Ray was a member of the Peoria Jazz Society and was a starter for the Peoria Park District's golf courses for many years. A great friend to all, a devoted husband and father, and a loving grandfather and great-grandfather. He loved to brag about his greatest accomplishment – his family. Last but not least, as a native Korean, I deeply appreciate his devotion as a soldier who was fighting for my motherland in the Korean War in his youthful years.

Although there will not be another day that I pick up the newspaper for him or take a selfie with him at the front desk, his megawatt smile and those of his three uplifting words “Life is good!” will never fade away in my heart. I miss you, Ray. Rest in peace.



Expressions
cater-cousin: (noun) a close/ intimate friend

stealthily: (adverb) slowly/ secretly

bewildered: (adjective) confused/ perplexed

to break the news to someone: (verb) to tell someone bad news

to scowl at…: (verb)  to look at someone or something in a way that shows anger or disapproval

to flip out: (verb) to become crazy or angry

straight shooter: (noun) a person who is very honest




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