Relationship Idioms

Humans are, by nature, a social being. No one can live by himself or herself completely away from others in many different aspects of life. That is why most people always search for relationships or connections with others. This week, we would like to work on some frequently used idiomatic expressions that are related to human relationship.

Let’s check out the following expressions and fill in the blanks with proper idioms.

(source from https://www.ecenglish.com/learnenglish/lessons/relationship-idioms)

bad blood: hatred or dislike among individuals or groups of people.

You can't please everyone: No single action can make everyone action.

to build bridges : to increase understanding / friendship between different people or groups.

to burn one’s bridges: do something that makes it impossible to return to an earlier state

Blood is thicker than water: People who are related have stronger obligations to each other than to people outside the family.

to have strong feelings: To have strong emotions for someone, often attraction./ to have a thing for someone

fair-weather friend : Someone who is your friend only when things are pleasant or going well for you.

an item: a term used for a couple who are in a relationship.

blind date: A blind date is when the two people going out on the date are meeting for the first time.

to talk to someone: To have a good feeling towards someone

The honeymoon is over: The early pleasant beginning (as at the start of a marriage) has ended.

1. Don't be upset if they got you wrong and keep criticizing you, Matt. You can’t ____________________  everyone.

2. She's one of those people who is only around when everything is fine. She's a __________________________.

        

3. Yes, James and I are an _______________ now. We've been dating for two months.

4. I'm going on a __________________ I'm so nervous! What if I'm not attracted to him?

5. Our relationship has gotten much harder since we had children. I think ___.

6. I know you're angry with your brother. But remember, _______________________________________.

7. There's no ______________________ between us now. We hadn't spoken for weeks but we made up last Monday.

8. I think we should try to ________________________ between Harry and Sally, I'm sick of them bickering all the time.

9. I __________________ for Eddy, but unfortunately I don't think he feels the same way about me.

10. Sarah has already __________________________ with her previous boss by publicly criticizing his marketing policy.

Answer Keys

1.      Please

2.      fair-weather friend

3.      item

4.      blind date

5.      The honeymoon is over.

6.      Blood is thicker than water.

7.      bad blood

8.      build bridges

9.      strong feelings

10.    burned her bridges

Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary Episode #1

Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or some fodder to justify his own mistakes with in the past.

Episode #1

This mid-aged woman named Amanda looked frazzled and sapped of energy when I first met her at St. James Cathedral in Chicago. Her eyes were swollen and reddened. She must have cried a river before I happened to sit right next to her. After some quiet time of prayers, she started to talk to me. “Hi…I’m Amanda. Are you from Chicago? I’ve been living here all my life. Guess I’ve seen you for all those years around this area, and heard people calling you Dr. J. Well…. If you don’t mind and have some time, I’d like to tell you about what I’ve been going through lately.”  It didn’t come as surprise to me that I found myself walking out of the Cathedral and heading to a nearby café with a stranger for a talk over a cup of joe or two.  Yes, I love meeting and listening to people that I come across in life.

Amanda said his husband died five years ago. She still could not get used to the fact that she had to eat, go see a movie, shop for home goods, pay bills, mow the lawn, take out the trash, wash the car, walk their dogs, grumble over their nasty neighborhood, sleep,…..and wake up all by herself. She said her life had been completely shattered since the day her husband died. Recently, her church friend set her up with a wonderful man, which was like a gift from God. Amanda said the man was so gentle, thoughtful, and even physically attractive. She fell in love with this neatnik that was perfectly gorgeous both inside and out. The two hit it off from the beginning, but Amanda said the guy could not give her the feelings of love that her past hubby used to fill her life with. Each time she went out on a date with this guy, her mind was filled with her husband who had been with her for twenty years. She said she would never ever have someone special like her husband in her life again. Since she did not ask me to give her any solution or opinions of mine, I just kept silent but was all ears to her story.

I did not give her any words of certainty about her rosy future with this new guy in her life. It is because I myself am still reeling from the shock caused by my wife’s untimely demise. Well… if Amanda wanted me to give in my two cents’ worth, I’d say, no one could be replaced by any other human beings. But that does not mean she is not able to meet someone who can hold a special place in her heart again. I just wanted to tell her to stay open-minded and follow her heart. It doesn’t mean that she should be impervious to the sudden rush of feelings of love for her husband in Heaven. Whenever her heart is full of her husband, she could willingly welcome the moment of reconnecting with him without feeling guilty or sad. That might be the way her husband would want his wife to be living. Just be in the moment and live it up, and then some day, she will say to herself ‘Tempus fugit!’ and smile.

Amanda, do not try to fill in the hole left by your husband. Leave that empty space in your heart for all the time and memories you had shared with your husband. I wonder what my friends out there would say or feel in Amanda’s situation.

Expressions

   1.   support group: Support groups for addiction or post traumatic pain allow people to share their personal experiences. There are groups that can benefit anyone with any type of addiction or trauma.

   2.   fodder: food for thought or excuse/ inferior or readily available material used to supply a heavy demand

   3.   frazzled: in a state of extreme physical or nervous fatigue and agitation

   4.   a cup of joe: a cup of coffee

   5.   neatnik: a person who is compulsively neat

   6.   Tempus fugit!: Latin phrase meaning ‘Time flies!’

Idiomatic Expressions related to Teaching

It is Teacher Appreciation Week! Actually, it is nonsense that we designate a day or a week to appreciate our teachers’ hard work and care for students. They do deserve to be extolled for their efforts to lead our kids to brighter future. This week, let us brush up on some interesting idioms related to teaching. Can you fill in the blanks given below? ^^ Easy breezy!!!

(source from https://www.myenglishteacher.eu/blog/idioms-about-teaching/)

    1.   You can’t teach an ________   _________ new tricks.

=  You are trying to teach someone a skill but they can’t learn it or they refuse to learn it.

    2.   Don’t teach your grandmother to suck _____________.

= The expression to use when you're telling somebody something they already know well. That is, giving advice to someone else about a subject of which they are already familiar. The origins of the phrase are not quite clear.

    3.   Those who can, ________; those who can’t, ____________.

= This is a very famous phrase for teachers everywhere, but perhaps not for the right reasons. The phrase implies that teachers only do their profession because they weren’t good enough to do it as their main job. It’s very rude if you think about it! Teachers generally do a good job and provide a service that many other people do not, sharing knowledge is so important and to be able to teach is an invaluable skill.

I’m sure you all agree!

    4.   Tricks of the ____________     =  Pieces of information that people learn with experience to make their lives easier. This is accomplished by putting a lot of time into whatever it is!

    5.   A for ___________! = recognizing that someone tried hard to accomplish something although they might not have been successful.

    6.   to teach someone a ____________ = Generally this is used to indicate future revenge. Make someone realize their behavior is bad.

    7.   You can lead a ____________to water but you can’t make him drink.

= You can show people how to do things and show them what is right but you cannot make them change or do something if they do not want to.

    8.   To set a good ______________   =  It means that you actually have to do the things that you tell others to do.

    9.   ___________ it from me.  =  Trust me. You can use this to speak confidently about a subject you understand properly.

   10. Put your thinking ______________ on! =  Think in a serious manner. You can also say “Use your noodle!”

Answer Keys:

   1.   old dog

   2.   eggs

   3.   do, teach

   4.   trade

   5.   effort

   6.   lesson

   7.   horse

   8.   example

   9.   take

  10. cap

Morning Meditation

Morning Meditation

by Jean Lee

As I wake up to the darkness of silence in the early hours,

Only the woodnote peacefully dilutes the serenity from the bowers.

Imagining countless droopy eyes out there,

I mumble to myself “Let’s live it up as loud as we dare!”

World news from the radio would make a lot of velitations.

Allowing the noise in our lives would take so much patience.

Turn the volume down.

So the voice of your heart and soul won’t drown.

No greetings or friendly faces in sight.

Same old footsteps of mine follow me in delight.

Another day, another night, ….and another day is here.

Still smudged with yesterday’s color that doesn’t disappear.

Although it might not be viewed as a wholesome whole,

Your today is building a bridge of hope on which you’ll stroll.

Keep smiling until all your concerns and wounds come to halve.

Say your prayers until the flowers in your garden become a salve.

Words to Live By

No matter where we are or how we live, life goes on. Some may say “YOLO, so enjoy every minute of your life to the max!”, and others may argue “Do your best in whatever you do and search for great cause beyond your ken in life. Do not waste your life being irresponsible”. Some may be purse-proud and focusing only on their own prosperity throughout their lives, and others may uphold philanthropic spirit. Some may have sleepless nights due to carking anxiety or doubts, and others may be interested in merrymaking all the time and not care about anything in the world. Which modus vivendi belongs to you? his week, I would like to share some golden words to live by.

(source from https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/life)

Expressions

YOLO: (phrase) You Only Live Once

ken: (noun) Understanding or cognizance; mental perception

purse-proud: (adjective) proud of one's wealth, especially in an arrogant or showy manner

philanthropic: (adjective) seeking to promote the welfare of others, especially by donating money to good causes; generous and benevolent.

carking: (adjective) causing distress or worry

merrymaking: (noun) the process of enjoying oneself with others, especially by dancing and drinking.

modus vivendi: (phrase) way of living

  1.   “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” …… Joseph Campbell

  2.   “There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why.”………….. William Barclay

  3.   “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”……. Buddha

  4.   “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”………. Albert Einstein

  5.   “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”……….Maya Angelou

  6.   “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”……….. Reba McEntire

  7.   “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.”………. Voltaire

  8.   “Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.”…… John Dewey

  9.   “Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”………..Steve Jobs

  10. “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”…….George Bernard Shaw

  11.    Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”……….. Confucius

  12.     “The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.”………….. Pablo Picasso

  13.  “The greatest pleasure of life is love.”………… Euripides

  14.  “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”………… Winston Churchill

Idioms Related to a New Beginning

What’s the biggest obstacle in your journey of exploring English? It could be grammar, pronunciation, or huge amount of vocabulary that seems to be endless. Above all, idiomatic expressions that have hidden, figurative meanings. Without understanding the cultural background or conventional usage of idioms, one can hardly imagine what those words are supposed to mean.

Using the given list of idioms (that are related to ‘a new beginning’) and your imagination, try to choose a proper expression to fill in the blank of each sentence below. (source from https://www.spellzone.com/blog/post.cfm?title=Twenty_Idioms_for_New_Beginnings)

a a.   new blood: new members of a group (who usually bring with them fresh ideas about how the group might run)

   b.   to blow away the cobwebs: to refresh yourself from a state of sluggishness.

c  c.    a new lease of life: an occasion or circumstance that leads you to becoming more energetic than you were previously

   d.   to quit cold turkey: to abruptly and completely give something up (i.e. drugs, alcohol, caffeine)

   e.   to blaze a trail: to innovate in a particular field and thus lead the way for others.

f  f.    at a /the crossroads: at the point where you must make the choice between two courses of action with diverging consequences

   g.   to go or be back to square one: to acknowledge that an idea has been unsuccessful and that you will need to come up with a new one

   h.   to make a clean breast of it: to admit to your mistakes/ to confess completely

<1> In any field of work, we need someone who has the courage to ______________________________________ so that people could follow or benchmark at their own pace.

<2> _____________________ can sometimes show you the way that existing people may not see. That is why my team manager wants to use this rookie to break mannerism in their projects.

<3> Today we see a lot of victims of sexual harassment or violence step up and let their voice heard in public. It is time for the sexual criminals to ________________________________ all.

<4> Eddy has been a heavy drinker for years, but he wanted to change his life one day. He quit alcohol '___________________,' and started to work out every day.

<5> Spring is in the air!!! We’ve been staying cooped up, being a potato couch all winter long. Now is the perfect time to go outside and _________________________________ !

<6> Another relationship went down the tubes! Ugh! I’m back to ______________________________ yet again.

<7> Since her artificial knee replacement surgery, she's had a __________________________. Now she’s even considering signing up for a Zoomba class at her local gym.

<8> Jess is standing at ______________________ as to what to do in this critical situation.

<Answer Keys>

  1.   blaze a trail

  2.   new blood

  3.   make a clean breast of it

  4.   cold turkey

  5.   blow away the cobwebs

  6.   square one

  7.   lease of life

  8.   a/ the crossroads

Thoughts on language assessment ethics

The ‘Language Assessment Ethics Conference’ back in my M.A.TESOL days has always been in my mind, which provided the opportunity to ponder upon ethical theory in professional fields including education. As Dr. Kunnan mentioned in the introduction session of that conference, the world has been suffering from lack of ethical principles in a variety of fields. His remarks prompted me to think of all the innocent victims from 9-11 attack in 2001 and the constant retaliation, human cloning as well as organ donation as one of the most recent issues concerned with ethics and morality.

As an English educator, I agree to the fact that the development of ethical principles in education (especially in the language assessment area) has retarded compared to the speed of the proliferation. I’ve always thought that it is one thing to have a grasp of the principles of second/ foreign language learning and teaching, and another to creatively formulate specific hypotheses about language learning in particular contexts and to garner empirical support for these hypotheses. That support can be gathered by means of careful measurement of the language competence of learners in given situations. That is, our theory of second language acquisition can be put into practice everyday in the classroom, but we will never know how valid our theory is unless our learners’ success is systematically measured in ethical way. Although a drastical change or innovation in the language assessment may not be demanded or expected, a thorough examination on ethics can be the next step the educators need to take for the present.

In the present world where morality and ethical thoughts are gradually losing their grounds by whited sepulchers, it is important for all the practioners in each profession to find out the relationship between philosophical ethics and professional responsibility. The major goal of education lies in the pursuit of helping individuals reach what they need to be the owner of their lives. Dr. Sharon Bishop claimed that acquiring a certain set of skills demanded by general standardized tests bear little meaning on the part of test developers as well as test users. The ethical rules are urged to consider the meaningful connection with unfamiliar context that people will face in their profession instead of simply providing the general principles or code of conduct.

With the above thoughts in mind, some questions came to me, which could halp us relate the principles to language testing practice and our profession. The questions were whether or not our actions/ decisions in the field of education reflect utilitarianism or Kantian ethics of morality. I personally came to think about my own students in the EFL (English as a Foreign Language) classes that I used to teach back in Korea. Sometimes they might not have known what is being tested when they tackle a test. They might have felt, for a variety of reasons, that a test isn’t testing what it is “supposed” to test. In other words, the tests might not have been carefully constructed or in the well-thought out formats.

As shown in Kantian ethics, one exclusive ruling government is not desirable because it will compromise individual person’s freedom and dignity. In this respect, I agree to the following idea proposed by Dr. Antony Kunnan (my professor at the MATESOL program at my alma mater, Cal State Univ, LA). He asserted that more concerted efforts should be made, in the field of language assessment, to come up with a transnational language testing that will be able to connect global ethics to local ground of ethics. In other words, it is our aspiration and responsibility to build a well-balanced language assessment ethics that allows us to understand who the testees are, what their experiences are, and how the scores are interpreted for individuals.