Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left
him with some food for thoughts in life…. or a fodder to justify his own
mistakes in the past.
Episode #68. The Son of the Sea of Adria
I used
to wake up to the irresistible aroma of my favorite hazelnut coffee being freshly
brewed along with the pleasant sounds of chopping, blending, stirring, and
shaking from our kitchen as Demi was fixing me a nice and warm breakfast. Back
in those days, little had I realized how blessed I was. For the past ten years
without my beloved woman, I have been gradually emptied out in my heart with
the time we had shared together vanishing bit by bit each day.
Apart
from the fact that it was a winter solstice, last night seemed to me the
longest sleepless night. I went down to the basement where I’d kept boxes of precious
books, photo albums, and letters between Demi and me, and the diary of my close
friend Adrian’s that he wanted me to keep years ago when he finished our
therapy sessions in my clinic. I gave up the night’s sleep and brought his
diary up to my bed to reminisce how my buddy was reeling from the sorrowful
goodbye to his ailing father.
Adrian, as his name says
it, loved to swim in the open waters. As might be expected of an ace player in
the varsity team, he had never skipped the after-school training for four years,
which made it possible for him to lead our high school swim team to the victorious
regional level of competitions. Behind his strong commitment to swimming was
his father who was a rock in Adrian’s
life. Mr. Doukas, Adrian’s father, had raised his only son as a devoted single
dad since he lost his wife to a tragic three-car pileup in their son’s childhood. Although he had been the busiest
coffee shop owner in town, Mr. Doukas had always been there for Adrian on his birthdays,
cub scout’s Pinewood Derby race days, the nights of Halloween
trick-or-treating, Christmas parties, school events like talent contests,
Spelling Bees, and Science Project competitions, and so on. Most of all, his
passion for swimming had kindled a flame in his son’s mind like phlegethon and made him determined to
be the top tier swimmer. One of the vivid memories in my high school days was the
huge painting of the Sea of Adria in the center of the wall at Mr. Doukas’
coffee shop.
When
Adrian came to see me after years and years of alienation since we graduated
from high school, he looked completely consumed
and depleted. He said his father had
been suffering from dementia for four painful years. He said “I should have
come earlier….I mean, I should have come to see you for your help when my
father was in better state of health than now.” We started our therapy meetings
right away. No charges, no fixed scheduling, and no concerns about getting too
personal with each other. I knew that my friend needed help, and I was more
than glad to be of any help in his hardest days. I was happy to know that
Adrian thought of coming to see me, instead of drowning himself in drink, in the most difficult time of his life.
I found
every single page in Adrian’s diary stained with tear drops and heart-breaking
moments.
August 8, 2016
“Each time I see my dad’s long,
bony legs during his bath time, I have to bite my lips to hold back tears,
pressing down this sad emotions starting to brew again deep inside of me. I try
hard to zone out and think of my own daddy’s weak legs in the bathtub as some
funny saltigrade that’s getting
ready to jump out. Yes, dad, jump out of the tub with your mile long legs!..............
“
December 24, 2016
“When dad was able to finish his
morsel of grits and half cup of orange juice, a skerrick of hope was
blossoming in my heart. But I know he’s not gonna be like this tomorrow and the
day after tomorrow. Doc says now and then he gets delirious, which will be more
frequent as he increases the dosage of pain killing medicines. Just speechless,
but his hands in mine still feel warm enough for me to know that I’m not alone.”
February 7, 2017
“Dad left me this morning. I was
dozing off by his side, and woke up to the imaginary sound of ‘flump’ all at
once. His hands and feet were icy cold, and his blank eyes were still open.
Doctor’s voice of declaring my dad’s passing was echoing away in a distance
like a blurred vision in tears. I wonder what that ‘flump’ in my ear was at the
moment of my dad’s passing. It could be my dad slamming the door to this world
and happily placing himself into a nice armchair up there in Heaven. Otherwise,
he must have tossed an inflatable pool chair for me out into the oceans in our memories
so I could chill and relax before swimming again.”
Expressions
1.
Adrian: The name Adrian is Latin and means "son of
Adria." It is a form of the name Adrianus (or Hadrianus), a Roman family
name meaning "from Hadria." Hadria was a town in northern Italy near
the Adriatic Sea.
2.
a rock: That person is someone you can always rely on to help and
support you. (E.g., The Bible refers to God as a rock.)
3.
a pile-up: a
massive collision of several or many moving vehicles.
4.
phlegethon: a stream of fire or fiery light
5.
consumed: used
up
6.
depleted: much
less/ smaller than before
7.
to drown
oneself in drink: tr
to destroy or get rid of as if by submerging he drowned his sorrows in drink
8.
saltigrade: having
the feet or legs adapted to leaping —usually used of spiders (such as members of the family
Salticidae) saltigrade
9.
a
skerrick of something: a very small amount of something
