Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr.
Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and
exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug
overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade.
During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from
various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and
listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings
from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for
therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through
which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with
himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for
thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.
Episode 50. Marina, My First Love
When I happened to take a cursory glance at Marina’s
wrist, I doubted my eyes and pretended that I saw nothing. A few quiet seconds
filled with awkward silence was finally broken when she said “Ugh! Can’t we
just stop this staring game? I know you saw my slit wrist. Don’t worry, I’m not
emo. It’s just mulage.” I was lost for words, but had to say anything
to make sure that I loved her no matter what. “Yes, I saw your wrist, hon, but…it
is not mulage. It’s real. I’m a doctor, Marina… You can be honest with me all
the time.” Marina looked upset and not convinced by my words. I felt miserable,
not only because my girlfriend must have been suffering but also that I was so
unaware of her sadness behind the glittering façade of her smile.
Marina and I met at the annual end-of-the-year party held
in the backyard garden of my clinic. She was brought to the party by one of my
patients who had seen me for a year. My patient Winona, who was Marina’s aunt,
said “Dr. J, I thought you might need someone you spend your time with outside
this clinic. This is my niece Marina that I’d really love you to see.” I was a
bit embarrassed by this kind of unplanned arrangement for meeting a woman,
especially by someone that I counselled and treated in my own office. Nonetheless,
Marina was such an attractive lady who shouldn’t get turned down by a two-bit
widower like me. As Winona was leaving for a nice spread of charcuterie
and champaigns on the table, she winked at me and whispered “Dr. J, you look like
me on the first day I met you in your office. Don’t be in such a swivet.
I bet Marina is gonna be a wonderful friend of yours.” Marina held out her hand
cordially, and I felt giddy and excited inside as if it had been my very first
time to meet a girl. She gave me a big smile and said “Hi, Doc J. I’m Marina. Auntie
Winona has told me a lot about you. Guess I’d never need to see you as my shrink
although I have an addiction…but I don’t think this addiction would require any
treatment from your office. I’m so in love with running.”
Since Marina had come to my world, I had become a matutinal
person who eagerly anticipated the daybreak to see her beautiful smile and join
her for joyful running. Our relationship seemed to be coming up roses. We had
shared laughter, heartfelt letters, phone calls all night long, and sometimes
heated discussions about poverty, marginalized people, painfully divided minds
in cultural crosscurrents, and morbid parts of our society. Because Marina was
born to poor Native American parents in the Indian reservation, her life
in Pueblo had never felt ideal or comfortable. Her father died when she
was only an elementary schooler, and her jobless mother became alcoholic. That
was why Marina was raised by her aunt when her mother wasn’t able to take care
of her only daughter anymore. Marina helped her auntie Winona sell cheap goods at
swap meet after school. She told me I’d never imagine how busy she was as a young
student during the daytime and as a hard-working sales assistant at her auntie’s
swap meet until she goes to college. Marina thought she was lucky to be brought
up by her kind auntie Winona whose life looked much better than the one in
reservation since she got married to a rich Caucasian man. However, Marina’s childhood
was teetering on the brink of downfall and indelible trauma.
Auntie Winona’s husband was a dangerously violent man who had beaten his wife and
tried a ton of times to molest little Marina. She had been scared and terrified,
being abused by that evil man next to auntie Winona for all those years. When
Marina felt she was at the end of the road, she decided to square up to her
hardship and tell her school teachers and counselors about her devastating
situation at home. With the help of school authority, Marina was able to stay
with foster family who later adopted her as their own daughter.
After graduation from college, Marina started to work as
a social worker and an avid human rights activist for the justice and equality
of BIPOC. She was so proud of her work to help the less privileged and people
in poverty-stricken areas. She also ran more than 10 marathons with her friends
and coworkers for the good cause of reaching out to BIPOC and those abused by
family members in our society.
When I happened to see her wrist that had so many slit
wounds, I was lost for words. She gave me a sad but proud smile that seemed to
say she was a survivor, not a loser.
Expressions
1.
cursory glance: hasty/
superficial
2.
emo: an emotional
person. They are not depressed all the time and some are acually very happy at
times.
3.
mulage: Acronym for
"Made Up Like A Genuine Emergency”
4. two-bit: cheap, of bad quality
5.
charcuterie:
cold cuts of meats and cheeses
6. swivet: a state of extreme agitation/ a fluster or panic
7. Indian Reservation:the Native American and First Nation peoples were moved to reservations as a deliberate policy of "ethnic cleansing" in the 19th century. ... The Indian nations currently living on reservations want to preserve such rights as they have.
8. Pueblo: a North American Indian settlement of the southwestern US, especially one consisting of multistoried adobe houses built by the Pueblo people.
9.
to teeter on the brink of something: To
be very close to doing something or of having some imminent event happen,
especially that which is bad or disastrous.
10. indelible: not able to be forgotten or removed
No comments:
Post a Comment