Dr.
Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling,
meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who
lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self
for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands
of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new
people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him
different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support
groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths
through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest
with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food
for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.
Episode
#9 Lovelorn
It was back in the early 70s when my auntie Ann first met
the famous actor Steve. Steve had already been the most sought-after film star unmatched by any of his contemporary actors.
He also had a picture-perfect family
with two children. As might be expected of a handsome womanizer, he could not let
a beautiful woman named Ann pass him by at the shooting set in that local
college campus in Southern California. She was on her way to class in a hurry, trying
to find the way around the cameras. The moment Steve took a glimpse of her, he became
totally blown away by this breathtakingly gorgeous young lady. He was like ‘Not
a second to waste!’ and came up to Ann to ask her out. She smiled back. Day one
of their secret liaison began that
way in broad daylight.
Auntie Ann and Steve’s non licet love story had kept on like an easy sail until Steve’s
family found out what had been going on behind the curtain. Ann wanted him to
leave his wife and children for her, but the word ‘DIVORCE’ wasn’t in his vocabulary.
As the most convenient but base means
to cut off a relationship, he chose ghosting
after all those years of being together. That was how their burning love affair
came to an end, with the lady Ann feeling like a trash flung out into the
street where everybody could see.
No shrinks or mental therapists were able to help auntie
Ann. She was turning to booze and
even abusing OTC pain relievers with alcohol, which had lasted for so long
until the deplorable incident took place. She hanged herself in her walk-in
closet in the year of 1984. There was a note found right next to her, on which
only one word was scribbled. ‘Lovelorn’.
I still remember that my mom, grandparents, uncles, and
aunts all seemed reluctant to make a fuss about auntie Ann’s untimely, tragic
end of life. On her demise, a coroner and police officers came for
investigation. Few weeks later, family obtained the autopsy result: No
voluntary and/or involuntary manslaughter and foul play involved. Clear
evidence of suicide. No one in family set forth a counterargument or requested
further investigation to stop auntie Ann from being a talk of the town. They all seemed so ashamed to have a family member who
left an indelible blemish on their family name. Yes, obviously, auntie Ann did
not die an honorable death or her hidden relationship with a married man was never
a shiny, valorous act of a
level-headed person. However, the same old question in my mind that has been
repetitively coming up since I became aware of her story is WHY she wasn’t able
to survive the bittersweet love, while Steve had lived a peaceful life back in
his own family just as if nobody like the lady Ann had been there at all. Could
it be because she loved him more than he did? Was there ever such a thing as ‘true
love’ between Steve and Auntie Ann? Was it just no more than illusions about
each other?
They say “Love is a many splendored thing.”, but it costs
a lot of heartaches, tears, and even treated with contempt. Although it was not
a proud relationship to be known, auntie Ann had a time of her life being with Steve
and had the full feeling of love inside of her to the last moment of her life. R.I.P,
auntie Ann. Your life was not wasted because you were in love.
Expressions
1. unmatched by:
(adjective) unequalled, supreme, unparalleled, paramount, greater than any
other thing/man in the field
2. picture-perfect: (adjective)
completely perfect or flawless
3. liaison:
(noun) illicit affair
4. non licet:
illegal
5. base means: contemptible,
mean-spirited, or selfish lack of human decency method/way
6. ghosting: the
practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without
explanation withdrawing from all communication
7. turn to: to
go to someone or something to get help with a difficult situation
8. lovelorn: unhappy
because of unrequited love
9. valorous:
courageous/ brave
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