There are some topics that have been tabooed to talk about in public.
Depending on cultures, it could be religion, political inclination,
prostitution, some diseases like AIDS, and asking women’s age in public to name
a few. Above all, the subject of “death”
makes most people feel emotionally charged and frustrated. If anyone (who is in
the right mind or does not have a totally
aberrant idea about life or death) happened to learn about someone’s death,
they would stop for a second and feel their heart welling up with sorrow. What makes people get serious or
uncomfortable about death? How should we respond to the end of one’s life? Are
we supposed to prepare for the finale in a somber
mood? Otherwise, could it possibly be somewhat festive or convivial?
I have personally seen deaths of my
close family and friends both in my home country and here in the States as well.
As most of you may already know, when the family says their final farewells at
the funeral home, the pallbearers will be asked to wait
outside until the family has exited. When the family leaves, the pallbearers
will be ushered in to lift the casket onto a wheeled device called a “church
truck” and roll the casket out of the building to the hearse. This is the very moment when everyone present are
surrounded by the unbearable feelings of deep sorrow and congested with complicated emotions. How would you describe the way
you feel or respond facing the death of someone in your life? I was lost for
words in that bleak moment. Empty.
Blank. Consumed. Feared. Depleted. Lonely. ……..and totally separated from the
ones I was saying goodbye to. However, as times went by, I found myself in the
process of reminiscing the good old memories that I had shared with the ones I
lost. It was more of celebrating and reconnecting with their past lives rather
than of painfully grieving the loss of my precious people. The beautiful
moments shared at some points in my and their lives would remain unperturbed even by many a vicissitudes after they left me for good.
It would probably take forever for
us to let all the miscellaneous things in our lives fill the void caused by the
absence of our beloved family members or friends. With hopes that someday we
will reunite with them elsewhere, I would like to view their demise not as the tragic, frustrating
end of life. It could be seen as the transitional point of one’s life, which is
leading them to another world that we have yet to know. It is true that death
physically do us part, but cannot
easily get us emotionally separated with one another, because our time with
them has not been over yet.
Expressions
be
tabooed to do…: be
prohibited to do…/ to urge us to avoid …. resulting from social custom or
belief
aberrant: deviating from accepted standard
well
up with…: to rise/
spring/ gush ….
somber: dark and depressing or dismal
convivial: related to feasting or lively
funeral
home: a place
where a dead person
is prepared to be buried
or creamated, and where relatives
and friends can see
the body
pallbearers: a person
who helps to carry
a coffin at a funeral
or who walks at the side
of the people carrying
it
hearse: a vehicle
used to carry a body
in a coffin to a funeral
congested
with: too blocked
or crowded and causing
difficulties
bleak: cold and empty/ unpleasant
unperturbed: not worried
about something, especially when this is slightly
surprising
e.g., It is hard to stay unperturbed
when you have to make a speech in front of hundreds of thousands of people.
vicissitudes: changes
that happen at different times
during the life or development
of someone or something, especially those that result
in conditions being worse
for
good: forever
demise: the death of a person
do
us part: make us
separated
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