Friday, December 29, 2017

What the year of 2017 meant for me

Around this time of every year, I normally find myself sitting in a quiet corner of my room with my eyes closed, focusing on my breathing, and trying to recollect the past 12 months filled with lots of expected and unexpected events and episodes. This past year started with the most unforgettably sad incident in my life. My father passed away on the 13th of January, and it was snowing a lot outside. The sudden rush of raw feeling of loss and emptiness has engulfed and flooded through me as its bitterly cold and unfamiliar reminder each time special days come along: Father’s day, his birthday, mother’s birthday, my parents’ 52nd anniversary, my birthday, Christmas, to name a few. 

I do not believe it is possible for anyone to completely come to terms with their beloved parents’ or sibling’s or children’s deaths no matter how long ago they happened. I am no the exception. It is not about forgetting or avoiding the saddest day of our lives, but more about remembering and cherishing the shared time with our loved ones. Saying goodbye to someone or something special in our lives doesn’t necessarily mean that we are apart from them. In the midst of going through a loss of loving folks, we see things clearer and learn how to live in this right moment to the fullest. We realize there’s no such thing as a “guaranteed tomorrow” as we age. Then, why wait for later to say you love them so much?

As we were preparing the inter-State moving lately (from a small, peaceful Midwest town named Peoria in Illinois to a somewhat more upbeat and busier city named San Antonio in Texas), once again, we reached a point of saying goodbye to our close friends of a decade made in our good old town. It was hard to hold back tears and smile while sharing goodbye hugs and taking pictures together, but I knew for sure that every single day since I left for a new home place would be more packed with my love, thoughts, and fonder heart for them.


The year of 2017 has seemed to be the time for leaving or parting, but on the other hand, it has led me to a point of keeping those I dearly love more tightly and strongly in my heart. I will keep trying to fill my sad and sour hollow in my life with blessings that I have. They are my memories shared with those special people that no one can steal. That way, I’m gonna make this change in my life as seamless as possible to go ahead for another day like peaceful yesterday. No need to bedizen myself with a fake smile as I wrap up this year, but instead I rather feel calm like a survivor after the stormy days. Adieu 2017!

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Peoria on My Mind

Peoria on My Mind
by Jean Lee





Love the corn fields in Summer time vast and wide;
Colorful autumn is such a winsome time.
Wintry air has made me a good cook of soups with pride;
Spring rain brings out flowers in their prime.

When I used to stumble and fall,
You were there;
Over good times, bad times, and all,
Showing me a sunny smile so rare.

When hope seems like the last thing to expect,
You don’t say “can’t” or “never”.
That’s why you’re the one to respect,
and we’ll be on your side forever.

If some time I look back on my good old days,
You will be right there in my memory.
As the unforgettable light that stays,
You will keep brightening up my life so happily.

I’m leaving my heart with you, Peoria.
You will always be my home of euphoria.

Friday, December 1, 2017

How to Face the Loss of Your Loved Ones

Everyone goes through the points in life when they lose the most precious and beloved persons to them. When they are in the sad phase of life, people send them heartfelt prayers, warm thoughts, and deep condolences. To some, it takes a few years to reel from their sorrow….no, it takes forever to survive the feelings of emptiness and hollow in heart until the very last day of their lives.
This week, I would like to share a link that shows us how to cope with the loss of our loved ones.



STEP 1: ALLOW THE FEELINGS

Coping with the loss of a loved one brings up almost every emotion imaginable. There are times when more than one emotion seems to take hold at once, and you may feel as if you're “going crazy.” It's natural to feel this way, as it's normal to experience a number of different feelings.

Gently remind yourself in your time of bereavement and grief that your feelings are yours, and they are well within the norm. It's important to your process to understand that there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to your feelings about losing a loved one.

STEP 2: GATHER SUPPORT

While there may be times as you are coping with loss when you'll wish to be alone, it's important to gather a support group around you for those times when you might need them. Friends, family, a minister or rabbi, and perhaps a therapist are all people who can and should be accessed during your grief process. These individuals can be a source of emotional support as well as physical needs, if required. The death of a loved one often leaves a large hole in the life of the survivor that can be, at least temporarily, occupied by a support team.

STEP 3: ALLOW THE GRIEVING PROCESS

Bereavement and grief is a process. It's important to know that every person has their own way of coping with loss. You cannot put a time limit on your grief. You must allow yourself to experience the stages of grief as they come up.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book, On Death and Dying, outlined five stages of grief. Each stage is unique and is not necessarily experienced in order. Stages may also be revisited. These stages are:

Denial: Your experience is incomprehensible, initially. You find it impossible to believe the loss of your loved one is real, and you may be numb from the experience.
Anger: As the truth of the situation begins to take hold, it's normal to feel anger and rage. This anger may be directed at yourself, the loved one for leaving you, doctors for not healing your loved one or even at God.
Bargaining: It's not unusual for survivors to cope with loss by trying to negotiate, usually with their higher power. Don't be surprised if you find yourself trying to make an “if only” deal with God.
Depression: The overwhelming sadness you feel is normal, and in most cases will not last forever. It's common to feel as if life will never be the same.
Acceptance: While this final stage of bereavement and grief is called “acceptance,” this refers to coming to terms with the finality of the loss and moving forward with your life. It does not mean that, from time to time, you may not revisit some of the stages listed above, but rather that the pain of your loss will become more manageable.

STEP 4: EMBRACE LIFE

Author David K. Switzer talks about the need to rediscover one’s own life in his book Dynamics of Grief: Its Source, Pain, and Healing. While the pain of your loss is real and must be felt, there will come a time when you must begin to live your own life again. By working through overcoming the death of a loved one, you will come to a place of accepting the death as a reality. You will find yourself able to move forward and embrace your life without your loved one by your side.


Your process through bereavement and grief are your own. Everyone responds differently to coping with loss. Above all, be kind to yourself and know that you will wake one day and find the pain is less, and life can go on.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Cooking Terms

‘Tis the season to be jolly and relaxed. However, to some people out there, it could make a grueling time slaving in front of the kitchen stove and oven all night and day. Speaking of cooking, why don’t we work on cooking terms this week? (A lot of cooking terms came from France or Italy.) Here they are!
(source from www.dictionary.com )
After going over the following cooking terms, try to fill in the blanks below them.

brine (verb or noun)
Brining (usually a turkey) is basically just the process of adding salt. It can be through a soak in a water mixture or simply by shaking salt directly on to the turkey. This is how you avoid that dry Thanksgiving turkey you may remember as a kid. However, don't tell your mom that!

al dente (phrase)
Al dente is considered the ideal texture for pasta. It’s not too soft, but not too firm. The Italian term literally translates as “to the tooth.” Think of it as pasta with just the right amount of “bite.” It’s not totally raw and crunchy in the middle, but it’s not a pile of mush either. Frequent taste tests during the boiling process will help you learn how to perfect this texture.

au gratin (phrase)
When something is au gratin, it means it’s cooked or baked with a topping of either browned bread crumbs and butter or grated cheese (both if you’re lucky!). It’s as easy as sprinkling some cheese and/or bread crumbs on top of a dish before popping it into the oven. Now instead of saying “cheesy potatoes,” you can say “potatoes au gratin” and sound fancy AF.

Béchamel (noun)
A béchamel is a white sauce. But, not just any white sauce. It’s one of the five “mother sauces”—the foundation sauce categories that practically all sauces are based upon (in French cooking, anyway). To make most of these sauces, start off with a thick paste called a roux (a cooked mixture of equal parts butter, or other fat, and flour). To transform roux into béchamel, add milk until it reaches a more sauce-like consistency. And, this is actually a key step in making macaroni and cheese from scratch.

double boiler (noun)
This is the secret to kitchen witchcraft like melting chocolate on the stove without burning it. It’s a tool that consists of two pots that nest in each other. In the bottom pot, which sits on the stove, add water. As it comes to a boil, it will gently heat the top pot with the power of steam.

stock vs. broth (noun)
They’re right next to each other at the grocery store, and they seem so similar it can be tough to know the difference between the two. Is there even a difference? While both are made by boiling meat, fish, chicken, or vegetables in water for several hours, the process for making stock always includes bones. That said, stock tends to have a thicker, more gelatinous mouthfeel, and it also tends to have more flavor.

to poach (verb)
They say there are 100 ways to cook an egg. Out of all of them, poaching is probably one of the most frustrating. Poaching involves cooking something (whether it’s an egg, fruit, fish, etc.) in a hot liquid that’s kept just below its boiling point. The word comes from the Middle French word poche, which literally means “bag” or “pocket.” Poached eggs tend to come out with the still-runny yolk wrapped inside the solid white (Kind of like a pocket, right?).

to sauté vs. to deep-fry (verb)
When you sauté something, you cook it in a pan with a small amount of oil or other fat, and stir the food by moving the pan to toss it in the air. The word means “jump” in French, so you can think of it as making the food jump as you cook it. This is that fancy signature move you see on all the cooking shows. Pan-frying is basically the same thing. Deep-frying is totally different. It's when you use enough oil to cover the food you are cooking. We’d recommend using a tall-sided pot or pan for that. Safety first.


<Fancy knife work>
to mince: (verb) cutting something (usually food) into very small pieces. Finely cut the veggie in one direction, then cut across those original slices to make teeny-tiny pieces. Voilà: minced veggies.

to dice: (verb) cutting something into small cubes (like a six-sided die). Take a potato, trim off the sides so it is now a rectangular potato, and then cut that rectangle crosswise and lengthwise into little cubes.

To slice: (verb) to slice is to cut a thin, flat piece . . . like sliced ham or bread.

To julienne: (verb) a pretty, chef-y way of saying “cut into thin strips or small, matchstick-like pieces.” It can be an adjective (e.g. “julienne carrots”) or a verb (“Get out there and try julienning some carrots!”).

Check out the cooking terms now!
  1.   When you make Korean Chop-Chae noodle dish, every ingredients needs to be ________________________.
  2.   In order to cook Turkey, _____________________ the poultry for a couple of hours in advance so that the meat is juicy and properly salted.
  3.   For the curry sauce, I will ______________ the carrots, onions, potatoes, and beef into small pieces and _____________________ them in the saucepot with some butter and grape seed oil.
  4.   Many of Southern soul foods in the States are __________________________ and a bit greasy.
  5.   Eggs Benedict is a traditional American brunch or breakfast dish that consists of two halves of an English muffin each of which is topped with Canadian bacon, ham or sometimes bacon, a_________________ egg, and hollandaise sauce.
  6.   A _______________________ is two pots: a large one that looks a lot like a regular saucepan and a smaller, more shallow pan that nestles inside. It's used for cooking delicate ingredients that have a tendency to seize or separate over direct heat, as when tempering chocolate, whisking up a egg-based sabayon, or keeping gravy warm.
  7.   One of the basic skills to hone while learning how to cook sauce, working on ____________________, also known as white sauce, should be the first step. You need whole milk to be heated and thickened with a roux for this sauce.
  8.   Most cooks advise you to cook your pasta ____________________, but I personally prefer softer texture of my noodles.
  9.   Mozzarella cheese sticks wrapped with thinly __________________ ham named Prociutto is such a great and quick protein fix after a long run!
 10. Hans loves Mostaccioli au ___________________ at the Italian restaurant Avanti’s! Something baked with cheese on top is his favorite.
 11. You don’t need to buy beef bones to make some simple and clear _______________. It is not as thick as stock.
 12. I ___________________ beef, kimchi, and mixed them in with mashed tofu and bean sprouts to make Korean style dumplings.
           

Answer Keys 
  1.   julienned
  2.   brine
  3.   dice, sauté
  4.   deep-fried
  5.   poached
  6.   double boiler
  7.   béchamel
  8.   al dente
  9.   sliced
  10. gratin
  11. broth
  12. minced     

Thursday, November 16, 2017

How to Survive Pesky Curveballs or Lemons in Life

Whenever things are going tough, we stop and ask a question: ‘WHY?’, ‘Is this part of God’s will or plan for good in the grand scheme of things?’ The answer is up to your choice and belief in life. Well, quite a lot of things in our lives make sense in the way that most things make sense when you don’t fully understand the situations. Ha…   

Sleepless nights or the nights filled only with a couple of hours of shallow sleep take a serious toll on our bodies just as if they were telling us off for the unexpected blows from life. What happens in our world might have some relations or no connections at all with our own will or responsibilities. With all due respect, it might feel very UNFAIR for us to go through life’s ordeals or bad nitty-gritty quite against our own intents. So….are we supposed to just sit still like the demoralized residents in the blighted hood, fretting about what we’re facing in a mopey mood? How best or at least aptly could we weather the seasons of all the trepidation given from life? Here’s what I think could help you out there in trouble.

First, jot down the things that let you down to properly cope with them and square them away.

Second, find someone close to you who can be all ears to your agony.

Third, just talk your matters over. This is not to give off a negative vibe to others, but rather to organize your thoughts by saying the issues out loud and gaining words of wisdom from your friends.

Fourth, believe in yourself and in God’s blessings on your way. Find your own quiet space for daily prayers and meditation, shut off from bustle of obligations in life.

I do not want to come off as presumptuous, but rather would like you to know that YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE to whom life gives a ton of lemons. Do not think that people around you would not turn a hair about your hard times or bad situations. Most of them around you care and hope for the best in the throes of your pain or despair. LOVE is right there at your side. It is none other than you that should take the liberty of taking love. Cheers. Your life would soon be poppin’!  

Expressions

in the grand scheme of things: (adverbial phrase) considering everything

to tell somebody off: (verb) to scold somebody

nitty-gritty: (noun) the basic or fundamental facts of a situation

demoralized: (adjective) having lost your confidence, enthusiasm, and hope

blighted hood: (noun) spoiled/destroyed/damaged neighborhood

to fret about something: (verb) to worry about

mopey: (adjective) in a depressed condition, low in spirits; gloomy; lackadaisical.

aptly: (adverb) in a manner that is appropriate or suitable in the circumstances

to weather (something bad): (verb) to endure or safely come through some hard times or crisis

to square something away: (verb) to complete all necessary arrangements for something or someone

to talk something over: (verb) to discuss something thoroughly

to come off as (+ noun/ adjective): (verb) to seem to be (a specified quality or character)

to not turn a hair: (verb) not become afraid or upset, remain calm about some annoying situations

to take the liberty of doing something: (verb) to do something without first seeking out or asking someone's permission


poppin’: (adjective) lit, beautiful, stylish, cool

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