Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were
the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being
truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him
with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in
the past.
Episode 54. (The Sequel to the episode 53.
Lorrie, My Sweet Valentine)
Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone
When Lorrie broke the news about her leaving for study abroad,
I became speechless and stopped eating her apple turnover for a moment. I was
trying hard to find the right word to say how saddened I was to hear about her
plans. All I could do was just slowly finishing the bite of apple turnover in
the mouth and looking her in the eye with words untold inside my mind; ‘Lorrie,
no…don’t you ever leave me.’ Lorrie held
my hands in silence and said “I’ve thought about this for so many years, and
that is why I’ve worked my socks off to study more about bakery and
pastry in the culinary school in Paris. I’m…so sorry, but…I really want to go
before it’s too late.”
As the closest person to Lorrie for all those years, I’ve
been privileged to luxuriate in all those mouthwatering pies, cookies,
rolls, buns, biscuits, and cakes. Those who had ever tasted her sweet treats
surely became a devotee. Because I had known how passionate and full of
ardent she was while creating a new list of desserts in her own small kitchen
even after her darg at work, I wasn’t even able to show her a hint of
disappointment or despair. Lorrie asked me to let her go, and I told her to
give me a few days to think about her plans and us. Oddly enough, she had
been thinking about foregoing her existing skills used to cook knockoff
sweets through further explorations of culinary art in Paris, while I was cherishing
and dreaming of our sweet and rosy future through all her own cuisine that I
had been savoring for years. Lorrie said she did not want to be a snollygoster
who snatches people’s money with cheesy and cheap desserts. I told her nobody
would think that way or denigrate her culinary creations, but she was
not listening. It wasn’t such a pleasant moment to find out that Lorrie and I were
standing at the crossroads, looking different ways. The last bite of Lorrie’s
apple turnover tasted so bland in my mouth that night.
7 years passed by since Lorrie left for Paris. I visited
her every once a year or two, and the rest of the years apart from each other
had been sporadically soothed by letters and long-distance calls – since we got
no such thing as instant text messaging, emails, or social networks or media at
all back then -, and I was a firm believer that absence would make the heart
grow fonder. I knew that both of us
were not just a flighty couple who would easily act shady even if
kept apart or change our minds or emotions towards each other at the drop of
a hat. But the more of my voice recordings on her phone were not returned
and the longer I waited for her letters, the deeper crevice I felt in our
relationship. Each time I drove home, I’d
find myself quietly absorbed in the tune and lyrics of Bill Withers’ Ain’t
No Sunshine. I didn’t know since when, but I was feeling we were slowly and
gradually becoming alienated. The taste of her pies and cookies was on the tip
of my memory, which had made me inconsolable.
I had not stopped by Rise & Shine since Lorrie
left for Paris. The aroma of their freshly brewed coffee had always been right
there, but it was ME and my most prized days with Lorrie that had NOT been
there. One day, just as usual, I was humming the lyrics “Ain’t no sunshine when
she’s gone. Only darkness everyday. Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone, and this
house just ain’t no home anytime she goes away…..” when I passed by the coffee
shop on my way home from clinic. A woman sitting at the outdoor table caught my
eyes. I couldn’t breathe for a second. It was her. It was Lorrie with the same
old sunshiny smile that greeted me every night and day. When I hurried back to
the parking lot and got out of my car, she stood up with her arms wide open and
said “Hey, doc J! You still hem and haw?” A lot of thoughts and emotions were
filling up my mind as I was briskly walking towards her: ‘I knew she loved me,
but still obfuscated me every now and then. Has she finally come back to
me for good? Could we reach the very place where we’d be together now? No more
leaving or letting go?’ When I held her in my arms, I hoped that Lorrie would
be proud of her baked goods that were really out of this world and no
other sweet things would even dare to stand toe to toe with hers. She
needed to quit being her own smellfungus. I asked her to bake me my
favorite apple turnover that night of her return. No more bland and bitter
memory of the pie lingering in my mouth. It was “gLORRIEously” good to me.
Expressions
1. to work
one’s socks off: to work extremely hard and their fingers to
the bone
2. to
luxuriate in …: to indulge in…./ to enjoy… very much
3. devotee: someone
who is very enthusiastic about something
4. darg: a
day’s work
5.
Oddly enough,: used
for saying that something is not what you would expect in a particular
situation
6. Oddly
enough, she wasn’t offended by his remarks.
7. to forego: to
go without…/ to do without…/ to give up…..
8. knockoff: an
item intended to look like something it is not, such as an expensive watch or
designer clothes.
9. snollygoster:
shrewd and unprincipled person
10.
to denigrate…: criticize
unfairly; disparage
11.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.: When
someone or something is far away, you realize how much you love (or miss) them
or it.
12.
flighty:
capricious/ very changing/ unreliable
13.
To act shady: to
act fake or sketchy and not trustworthy
14.
at the drop of a hat:
immediately/ without delay/ without any hesitation
15.
to obfuscate…: to
confuse or bewilder somebody
16.
out of this world:
very impressive or extremely good/ excellent
17.
to stand toe to toe with ….: to
be willing to or be able to compete/ fight with ….
18.
smellfungus:
harsh critic or fault-finder who complains about everything to everyone
