Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were
the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being
truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him
with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in
the past.
Episode 51. The Man in the Painting
I didn’t know since when I had found it hard to fully concentrate
on the talks and counseling shared with my patients in therapy sessions. It
felt as if each patient in my office was wasting his or her time and money, and
I wasn’t able to make sure that all these efforts of months and years would eventually
get them out of the aoristic limbo, being unstable and unhinged, in
their lives. Maybe I got to the point of the crowning moment of epiphany
that being a shrink is not my calling. Otherwise, it was just that I had burnout.
Every night, I headed out to my favorite watering hole
and drank a couple of Bacardi. Jimmy,
the bartender, was always ready to welcome me with a congenial smile. In
that space, Jimmy and I were playing role reversal between a shrink and a listless
patient. This time for guileless conversations could be tedious prolixity
to Jimmy, but I found it refreshing to empty out my mind so I was able to start
the following day from clean, unsoiled canvas.
One night, Jimmy asked me if I was interested in paintings
and fine arts. He said his day job is to draw caricatures of people milling
about in the 5th avenue. It threw me for a loop at
the fact that I had not known about Jimmy for all those years. How come I hadn’t
asked him even once about what he really loved to do in life or if there was
anything else on his plate? He was such a great listener, which I was not.
Jimmy invited me to his small atelier that night. His workspace was full of a
lot of caricatures and portraits lining the wall. Jimmy said some pieces of portraits
there were created only with detailed verbal descriptions from his clients who wanted
to keep their deceased loved ones as beautiful artwork. Although Jimmy had not
seen their loving family or friends in person, he must have been talented
enough to use his eidetic memory while working on each piece. I was awestruck
by the genius of this fine young man and ashamed of my twofold attitude towards
people around me. During the daytime at my office, I was a listener, albeit not
a good one. At the gin mill where I’d spend some time after work every night, I was such a glib
that never stopped talking to Jimmy and random people out there until they felt
sick and leave.
In the corner of Jimmy’s atelier was one painting of a
man facing the procellous ocean. Jimmy said “Do you happen to see
yourself in the painting, Dr. J? With all the stories you’ve told me for years
at the bar, I came up with this man in my painting. Hope I didn’t make you offended,
Dr. J.” That piece of painting was like a message from Jimmy that it was time
for me to listen to the inner voice about what I feel today and look back on
all those years of my painstaking efforts to help soothe the wounds in people’s
heart. My exhausted soul was anointed in the most curative way that
night. Since that day I came to learn about Jimmy’s talent as an artist, I’d brought
my patients to his art studio and asked him to draw my patients with some
backgrounds invented in his mind. My passion to help people with heartaches was
rekindled in his place as well.
Expressions
1. aoristic
:
indefinite; indeterminate
2. to
be in limbo: ….is in an uncertain period of awaiting a
decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.
3. crowning:
the
best/ the most/ the greatest
4.
epiphany: a
usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning
of something
5. a watering
hole: a tavern or bar
6. congenial:
pleasant/
agreeable/ friendly
7. listless:
lethargic/
lacking energy or enthusiasm
8. guileless:
devoid
of guile/ innocent or without deception
9. prolixity: the
state or quality of being unnecessarily or tediously wordy; verbosity
10. caricature: a
picture, description, or imitation of a person in which certain striking
characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect.
11. to mill about/ around: to
move around with no obvious purpose
12. to throw … for a loop: to
cause (someone) to be very amazed, confused, or shocked
13. eidetic memory: marked
by or involving extraordinarily accurate and vivid recall especially of visual
images
14. glib: (of words or the
person speaking them) fluent and voluble but insincere and shallow
15. procellous: stormy
or turbulent
16. to anoint: to
rub (with oil)
(source from picture image: https://blog.clearviewsocial.com/dont-try-to-boil-the-ocean-setting-up-an-employee-social-media-program-that-actually-works)
