Dr. Jedidiah's Diary: Episode #25. Coach Callahan's Pro Tip

Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife Demi to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.

Episode # 25. Coach Callahan’s Pro Tip

It was such a painful winter when I first met coach Callahan at my son’s soccer team. I had just lost my beloved wife, Demi and felt nothing in the whole world could ever get me out of the deep mire of despair. My office was closed for an indefinite period of time. So was my mind and soul. Every night and day, I found myself questioning the veracity of Demi’s love for me, because I had been accusing her of derailing all my efforts and commitment as a husband to my own beloved family. I kept asking myself over and over again. ‘etHad Demi ever thought of me as her precious husband? Had she ever let her hair down with me?’ …’Was I not good enough or not a bit better than a glass of wine for her to resort to?’   Then came this guy named Callahan to my life, more strictly speaking, to my son’s life.

Callahan had been taking on the varsity soccer team at my son’s high school. He was notorious for being relentless and redoubtable when it comes to training his players. Before each game, he’d make his speech concise but powerful for the kids. “Just play the game as you have practiced.” After the regional game, which called for a big celebration for coach Callahan and his players, he came up to me and asked if I cared for a huge dinner gathering with kids and other parents. I was not in the mood at all for any kind of jollification, but had to join them for my son. I must have looked like someone chewing on some inedible prop food in a play, while everyone else was truly savoring all on their plates to the last bite that night.

Coach Callahan sat next to me and said “Mr. Jedidiah, I heard about your loss of your wife. So sorry for your hardship. But you need to be strong. Not for yourself, …but for your young one. How long are you gonna stay down in the dumps?”  So disturbed by his unsolicited piece of advice for me, I looked at him in the eye and said “Whoa…excuse me? I, umm,….I guess you’re being a bit too presumptuous saying that to a single dad who has recently lost his better half! …….  Excuse me…I’m just taking off now. Sorry, catch you later.”  Coach Callahan followed me to the parking lot and asked me to stay just another hour or even half an hour to hear him out right there. He went on to say “Mr. Jedidiah, let me just tell you a little about how I’m holding up in my life. Do I look like a happy, lucky guy living with a perfect peacherino in what we call the ‘Vinculum Matrimonii’? Well, yes and no…depending on how you see my life.

“It was love at first sight when I first met my wife, Kathy. She was beautiful, elegant, thoughtful, and most of all, very smart. Our dates were always filled with a lot of interesting debates and discussions over everything in the world. Since I’m not quite book-smart, I was so happy that Kathy helped slake my epistemic curiosity by sharing her knowledge and intelligence.” said coach Callahan with dreamy eyes. “You don’t wanna hear my story, right? I know you’re not interested in caring for someone else’s life now, but here’s one thing that I’d really like you to know, Mr. Jedidiah. The pretty and smart girl that I used to know and got hitched with is gone now. Actually, she’s still breathing next to me, but she’s been suffering early onset of Alzheimer’s disease for 10 years now. She doesn’t recognize me as her husband. She often throws fits whenever she’s not in control of her motions. I am just living next to her as a caregiver, the most trustworthy one. Do I look energetic and carefree to you? Then I’m quite successful in my life! I’m not pretending to be happy. I am just being happy, because I practice to stay happy in the moment with my wife every day. In moments of tears, laughter, frustration, silly mood,….and so on. Now it’s my turn to fill Kathy’s curiosity. Although she’s not her best version of herself, she is still my loving woman. I use my own pro tip to stay happy. Just be in the moment without any other unnecessary or disturbing thoughts. Then you can live your life to the fullest at least without regrets left in the corner of your life. I do hope you’ll soon get ready to bounce back to your normal, happy days with your son. Just remember that you’ve still got someone so precious in your life.”

On my way back home, I felt like my mind was emptying out but left with one thing. I’ve got my son in my life now. I know for sure that I’ll be waffling on my own promise to be a good dad now and then, but as long as I remember there’ll always be someone who calls me dad for the rest of my life, I can still be a happy, lucky guy. No more shelving my plans to hit a movie with buttery fingers reaching for the last popcorn seed in a huge tub with my son.

Expressions

   

   1.  to question the veracity of something: to be doubtful/ be dubious/ be skeptical about the truth of something

   2.  derailing: discouraging/ disheartening/ banning….

   3.  to let one’s hair down: to let oneself chill or relax or to get close to someone emotionally

   4.  redoubtable: formidable/ fearful/ valiant

   5.  jollification: festivity/ jollity

   6.  presumptuous: meddlesome/ nosy/ intrusive

   7.  peacherino: someone/ something very attractive

   8.  Vinculum Matrimonii: the bond of marriage

   9.   book-smart: having a lot of academic knowledge learned from books and studying, but not necessarily knowing much about people and living in the real world

   10.              epistemic: of or relating to knowledge / cognitive

   11.              to get hitched with…: to get married with…

   12.               early onset of (a disease): (of a medical condition) occurring early in a person's life, esp in relation to other people with the condition

   13.              to waffle on …: one cannot decide what to do or what their opinion is about it.