Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife Demi to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been
his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met
hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the
world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office
have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups
or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across
were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life,
being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left
him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own
mistakes in the past.
Episode # 20. Nora
“Depleted and empty!” said Nora when I asked her how she
felt about her life overall. What a sad epiphonema! I met Nora at my
son’s birthday party a year after my wife Demi’s untimely demise. I had still
been struggling in pain and reeling from the shock of losing my own soul
mate when I first met Nora. Nora’s daughter Phoebe and my son were very tight
and always hung out together after school. However, I hadn’t gotten to meet
Phoebe’s parents until my son’s 16th birthday party. Unfortunately,
I came to learn that Phoebe’s mom, Nora was not happy with her life.
Nora said she had been the main bread winner throughout
her life, which always made her feel somewhat deprived of joy and excitement.
Her life had to be fixed in a frame of working nine to five without a true
relaxing breather. She needed to work at an early age to support her sick
parents and nothing had changed even after marriage. Her husband was a typical
lazy bum, hopping from one bar to another every night. Since her only child
Phoebe was also going through growing pains as a teenager, Nora wasn’t able to
ask Phoebe to be a shoulder to cry on. When she found out her husband’s affair
with a woman living next door last year, she was on the threshold of a
new phase of life. The life in a way opposite to what she had been dreaming of.
Nora started to reach out for alcohol and even drugs through one of her
colleagues who had already been there. Thank goodness, Nora went on to say that
she had an awakening moment before it was too late and stopped her insipient
way of solving her matters sitting deep in the dark room of her own with
liquor and substances. However, when I met her at my son’s birthday party, she looked
like a person who was not quire there.
Her short answer to my question about
her life “Depleted and empty!” was written all over her face. Nora’s life felt
like supporting and feeding all others around her without receiving a hint of
love and gratitude in return. I suggested she join my hiking group for an
energy boost in her lukewarm days, but she said no. Had she been in the hiking
team, she said all the tree leaves, fruitlets, pebbles, and twigs in the trail
would whisper ‘You’ve completely failed. You have lived a life of thankless
martyrdom.’ She shrugged with a bitter smirk and said “Well, nice talking
to you. I heard from Phoebe that you’re a psychiatrist. You must be trying hard
to read my mind at the moment, ain’t you?...... Don’t worry about me. Let me
just shog off.” Nora seemed like an undulating flag that moved only by
the wind, not by its own will. Her bitter smile lingered on my mind for days,
months, and years. I still think about her feelings and wonder if her life has
been wasted as she said.
Expressions
1. epiphonema:
an
exclamatory sentence or striking especially summary comment concluding a
discourse
2. to
reel from…: to feel very confused or shocked by something
and unable to act
3. on
the threshold of…: at the beginning of something or very close
to something
4. insipient:
foolish,
lack of wisdom
5. thankless
martyrdom: sacrifice that hasn’t been deeply appreciated
6. to
shog: (dialect) to move along/ go away
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