Dr. Jedidiah's Diary Episode #19: My Patient Corti

Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife Demi to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.

 

Episode # 19. My Patient Corti

Corti was the most difficult patient that I had ever met. Very difficult to talk to, be around, and figure out either with all my expertise as a shrink or with a deep imagination as a fecund author of novels of my own. Although he came to see me with his own will, Corti seemed very reluctant to show me who he really was or how he had been feeling as a politician. He’d just say “I want you to fix my emotions. I always feel like I were riding on some never-ending roller coaster every day.” Even without him expressing it with his own words, anyone could tell he was suffering from manic depression. One day he looked elated with all smiles, spending one full session with me on jactation about his achievements as a statesman. However, the atmosphere of the follow-up session was dimmed and heavy like his dismal face. On those gloomy days, Corti would complain about his friends who called him a proselyte. Corti had been going to a Presbyterian church, but just became a believer of Buddhism. Each time I asked him if he could tell me why he changed his religion, he remained silent.

I visited a small temple called Dharma Center, which had become a new meditation place for Corti. When I asked some people there about Corti, they told me weird things about him. A mid-aged woman named Linda said “Are you his close friend? Then you must know how hard it is to describe Corti. At first, I thought he was such a devoted Buddhist and an immaculate politician. My first impression of Corti has gradually changed over the past half a year though. I saw him and his young wife bickering so bitterly in the church parking lot.”  One of the monk leaders there was very hesitant to respond to my questions about Corti, but he finally said “Whenever he looked happy, his wife was wearing a pair of shades and a hat, sitting next to him…or didn’t attend the class with him.”  I intuitively realized there must have been domestic violence in Corti’s house. That should be the reason why he stopped going to the old Presbyterian church and wanted to start with a clean slate at a whole new place, believing that he’d be safe here with a brand new religious group.

Since Corti came to learn that I’d been asking about him at his new Zen place, he totally ghosted me and went off-grid. His disappearance was obviously followed by change of his contact numbers. He even was not living in the home address he put in the patient’s chart any more. I was frustrated, incompetent, and puzzled by Corti’s hopeless situation. Now that he was gone out of my sight out of the blue, I wasn’t able to get closer to any faint clues to disentangle his problems either inside or outside of my office. The person who last saw Corti and his wife was their neighbor. He said “I haven’t seen Mr. Corti Segal and his wife for a while. No more scenes are being made now. He was always the one who fomented unrest in this community. He often asked me if there was any good quiet temple around here where he could meditate. Well….he was driving a huge Cadillac, but always pretended he wasn’t into materialistic aspects of life.” This man also described Corti quite in a pedantic style by saying “He was living an extravagant life but trying hard to disguise in ‘floccinaucinihilipilification’!”

I haven’t heard from Corti for years now. He must be in some other new neighborhood where he can be living two faced, struggling between his multiple selves with conflicting and incompatible emotions inside. Just the thought of those days when I was trying to find a path leading deep into his complicated state of mind gives me headaches. Yes, as his name sounds to me, he was like the stress hormone, Cortisol in my memory as a shrink. He gave me a lot of concerns and doubts, but at the same time helped me stay in control without losing my nerve as his doctor.

Expressions

     

     

     1.  fecund: fruitful/ prolific/ high-yielding

     2.  manic depression: According to Mayo Clinic, manic depression is a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings between highs (mania) and lows (depression), according to the Mayo Clinic. Also known as bipolar disorder.

     3.  jactation: boastful declaration or display/ bragging

     4.  dismal: showing or causing gloom or depression

     5.  proselyte: a new convert (as to a faith or cause)

     6.  to ghost someone: to cut off all contact with someone

     7.   to go off-grid: cutting off all contact via internet and phone with friends and family for an alloted amount of time

     8.   to foment…: to instigate or stir up (an undesirable or violent sentiment or course of action)

     9.   floccinaucinihilipilification: the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language)