Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling,
meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who
lost his wife to accidental drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through their formal encounter groups or
support meetings for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were
the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being
truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him
with some food for thoughts in life.
Episode # 2
It
was a lazy Sunday afternoon when people in the street looked somewhat listless
like the unkempt lawn under the
scorching sun. Each time I visit this City of Angels, I find myself wondering
where all these homeless folks in the inner city originally come from or where
they truly belong.
After
I finished my daily dose of walking around the block – even while I was on a short
trip for a conference here in Los Angeles – I threw myself onto the lawn inside
the nearby public park to catch up my breath. A couple of pale-faced and mumpish guys were seen lying on the
benches as if they had been the invisible dust in this world. The dark palpebral lines of their eyes seemed to
have lost the will to see or find anything hopeful in this world. As I was
staring at the ghostly crowd of homeless fellas, one man’s eyes met mine. It felt
like an eternity until I made up my mind to get up and walk up to that man. His
eyes were filled with hopelessness that I was able to fathom.
A
few minutes later, he caught me by surprise, being so abrupt and snappish. “Are you giving me some
dough? What do you want from me?” It was a bit awkward but I said with a
hesitant smile “Finding no space in the shelter? How long have you been lying
here?”
The
man kept quiet for a while and seemed to believe that I wasn’t a cop or narc. He started to tell me about some
of his situation. “I’m José. I have nowhere to go. I collect recyclable trash
for some small cash. Yeah, I’m meth head. That’s how I can stay alive. My wife
left me with our little kiddo last year. She always said that I should stop
pulling stupid stunts. But it all started when I was given prescribed Opioid painkiller by my doc. It was so
hard to live a normal life without the drug. Since I wasn’t able to afford it,
I started to guzzle cheap booze that
I could find in any liquor stores. I don’t give a damn what others call me.
Just let them go. This is how I live….. but sometimes I feel so frustrated and
trapped in this awfully vicious circle.”
As
a medical doctor, I felt deeply guilty about what José’s been going through. It
is not his fault to be addicted to the powerful pain killer Opioid. It takes
our effort and time to raise the fatal drug awareness before those innocent
patients fall victim to
unintentional drug abuse. Next time I visit here, I do hope I can see José
again, not as a helplessly dying person that sleeps in the park, but as a
healthy friend of mine that feels happy to be in the City of Angels.
Expressions
1.
unkempt: neglected/
disheveled/messy/crude
2.
mumpish:
sullen/ sulky
3.
palpebral: relating
to the eyelids
4.
snappish:
irritable/ inclined to attack or bite
5.
narc: a
federal agent or police officer who enforces the laws regarding illicit sale or
use of drugs and narcotics.
6.
Opioid: possessing
some properties characteristic of opiate narcotics but not derived from opium,
which is used as a strong pain reliever
7.
booze: alcoholic
beverage
8.
to
fall victim to something: to fail or suffer because of
something
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