Dr. Jedidiah's Diary Episode #92: I'll be there for you, Jess.

Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary

Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life…. .or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.

 

Episode # 92. I’ll be there for you, Jess

On the day Jess confided her painful old memory to her boyfriend, she must have believed that her dreary past would be the history. Her trust in her man did not return to her just as she had expected, but rather made her bite the bullet and left him for good. He thought Jess was partially responsible for all the mishaps in her youth. Jess became more withdrawn than in any periods of her life. I thought that I could be of any help in restoring Jess’s childlike smile that I used to see everyday when we were in junior high school.

 

Jess was such an outgoing, talkative girl who had trouble holding her giggles and laughs all the time. She was the kind of girl that every classmate wished to befriend, but it wasn’t easy for them to ratoon genuine friendship with Jess. It was not because those of us were not doughty enough to come up and say “hello” to the quiet girl, but rather because Jess wasn’t ready to open up to us. Most of Jess’s classmates including myself would rarely catch her talking to anyone in school, and even teachers might have thought of her invisible and not ever bothered to ask what was on her mind. Then came a day when we were all dumbfounded to see Jess lambasting our P.E. teacher, Mr. Gornick in the swim class. “Stop, Mr. Gornick! Just can’t stand it anymore! No,….I won’t keep quiet about you! You are the devil that I saw in the church! You think I am a patsy! Hell, no!!!” Mr. Gornick looked instantly frozen and did not say a word while Jess was going berserk. I took Jess’s hand and helped pull herself together before she tried a physical attack on Mr. Gornick.

*Picture Image:   https://www.mobileodt.com/blog/taking-your-breath-away-why-strangulation-in-domestic-violence-is-a-huge-red-flag/

Mr. Gornick was fired and arrested for child sexual abuse. Our school and the entire town were devastated and shell-shocked to learn about his unforgivable misconduct that had victimized a lot of his innocent students for all those years. All parents, teachers, and students deeply appreciated Jess’s brave decision to step up and speak about what she had to go through. However, Jess said she felt there’d be no safe place or person in her life to turn to. Before this terrible incident at school, she was also abused by the Reverend Peter at the old church where all her family had belong since her childhood. I was studying bible every Sunday in that church with Jess, too.

 

Now that I learned about all those horrible things that happened to my friend in the places where kids were supposed to feel the most secure, I could tell why Jess had to stay so taciturn and terribly invisible no matter where she was. The little girl Jess used to say she hated to see the pastors and church goers looking so dapper, munching on chocolate chip cookies in the church yard after each chapel, which I did not understand back then. Now I know what that meant. Her xocolatophobia and her abhorrence of spiffy looking pastors along with the smiling church people had every reason to become a thing in her life. It was heartbreaking to hear that even her boyfriend was not on her side, reassuring that she got her permanent soul mate. Only if she let me in her life, I was more than willing to promise that I would never stint myself in my love and heart for her.

 

Expressions

    1.  to bite the bullet: to decide to do something difficult or unpleasant that one has been putting off or hesitating over

 

    2.  withdrawn: not wanting to communicate with other people

 

    3.   to ratoon …: Ratooning is an ancient method of propagation in sugarcane in which subterranean buds on the stubble (the part of cane left underground after harvesting) give rise to a new crop stand, which is usually referred to as the 'ratoon' or the 'stubble crop' as opposed to 'plant crop', which is raised from seeds or seedlings.

 

    4.  doughty: brave and persistent

 

    5.  to lambast …: to criticize someone harshly

 

    6.  patsy:  a person who is easily taken advantage of, especially by being cheated or blamed for something

 

    7.  to go berserk: to go crazy or mad/ act violently or uncontrollably

 

    8.   taciturn: (of a person) reserved or uncommunicative in speech; saying little

 

    9.   dapper: neat and trim in dress and appearance (typically used of a man)

 

    10.  xocolatophobia: an irrational or disproportionate fear of chocolate

 

    11.  abhorrence of ….: a feeling of repulsion; disgusted loathing

 

    12. to stint oneself in …..: to be stingy or sparing on something