Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left
him with some food for thoughts in life…. or a fodder to justify his own
mistakes in the past.
Episode #69. The Odd Couple, Phannschmidts
Thomas
and Michelle Pfannschmidts were the oddest couple that I had ever met in the palliative care program where I used to
work with their family doctor Joseph. They had been unhappily married for 30 something
years, and ended up with this specialized care for each of their illness.
Thomas was suffering from skin cancer, and his wife Michelle got ALS. Joseph said the couple would need
some quiet time for conversations with me through my weekly therapy sessions at
the nursing home.
The
first session with the Thomas-Michelle couple is still so vivid in my memory.
They were already in a small argument when I stepped into their room of the
nursing care facility. They seemed to fight over the holiday gifts for their
grand kids. Thomas was yelling at his wife “You always laugh at my own
creations of genius crossword puzzles for kids!” Then Michelle shot back at him
by saying “Alright, alright, you may be a passionate cruciverbalist, but our grandkids are not interested in those
stupid gifts!” As I greeted to them with a big, awkward smile and said “Hello,
you must be Mr. and Mrs. Pfannschmidts, right? I’m Dr. J, your weekly
counseling doc.” Thomas looked up at me from his couch out of the corner of his
eye and grumbled in a low voice. “You’re the shrink we’re scheduled to meet
today? Why the hell do we need counseling? This woman and I are going separate ways in any time soon.” Before I even pulled myself together, Michelle
interrupted placidly and said “Shhh!
Watch your language, Tom! Mind your manners, please! Stop taking your anger out
on anybody you come across. Dr. J, sorry for his rudeness. Please have a seat.”
The way Michelle talked and dealt with the embarrassing moment caused by her
husband seemed so natural and smooth just as if she had been repetitively saying
the same words memoriter in the
similar situations for a long time.
Not
a day of our therapy sessions had been
suffused with a gratifying smile
on any one of our faces. Regardless of the issues or topics for our weekly
talks, there’d always been big or small bickering, excoriations, and crippling twits
between the two. Thomas was kind of a straight shooter of a series of savage
words when he talked with me, whereas Michelle always wished to play the role
of a mediator that tried to establish rapprochement
between me and her husband.
The
two years with the Pfannschmidt couple flew so fast that I had not been able to
keep track of how far along my sessions had been to improve their connubial relationship. On the outside,
Thomas and Michelle always looked like a tin
ear to each other’s intentions or heartfelt words. But over the years, it
had dawned on me that Thomas and
Michelle must have been the closest buddy to each other, knowing every nook and
cranny inside of their mind. Even though they kept taking a dig at each other, they did not seem to become sulky or
hurt for a long time. I got to realize Thomas and Michelle had acclimated themselves to the way their
spouse behaved and lived. I was just no more than a third party or company
meddling in their married life. The odd couple was a perfect match between a
crossword puzzle enthusiast who would lucubrate
all night long to make a nice gift for grandkids and a control freak with high
expectations who keep dreaming of living in the world of prelapsarian innocence where no man swears.
On
the last day of our sessions, I happened to get there a bit earlier than usual
and saw Thomas gently patting on his wife’s twisted back and arms, whispering
some words into her ear. It was the very first time that I saw smiles on both
of their faces. I was the oddest of the odd among three of us who had been
searching for a solution to the couple with no problems.
Expressions
1.
palliative
care programs: Palliative care is an
approach that improves the quality of life of patients and their families
facing the problem associated with life-threatening illness, through the
prevention and relief of suffering by means of early identification and
impeccable assessment and treatment of pain and other problems, physical,
psychosocial and spiritual. (*source: https://www.joejoebear.org/resources-and-education/palliative-care/pallative-care/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwm9yJBhDTARIsABKIcGZAN_JWLvtGEYg0jS0POKhufpBc832rvhIa1FFo_P7MTiJzl-HEz8QaAgFMEALw_wcB)
2.
ALS: ALS stands for Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, which is also
called Lou Gehrig’s disease, after the famous Yankee player who was diagnosed
with it. It is a fatal motor neuron disease that targets nerve cells in the
spinal cord and brain and often begins with muscle twitching and/or weakness in
a limb
3.
cruciverbalist:
a person who loves and is skillful in creating or
solving crossword puzzles.
4.
to go
separate ways: to end a relationship
5.
placidly:
serenely
free of interruption or disturbance
6.
memoriter:
marked by
emphasis on memorization
7.
to be
suffused with something: to be overspread with…/ to be filled with
8.
gatifying:
giving/causing
satisfaction or pleasing
9.
excoriations:
harshly
scolding, criticizing, denouncing, or expressing intense disapproval of someone
or something.
10.
twit: an act
of taunting, teasing, ridiculing
11.
rapprochement:
harmonious
relations
12.
connubial:
of
or relating to matrimonial/ marital/ nuptial
13.
tin ear:
a lack of ability to hear something (such as music or speech) in an accurate and
sensitive way.
14.
It
dawned on someone that….: I came to realize, learn, or know that…
15.
to take
a dig at someone: to make a remark that is intended to
criticize, embarrass, or make a joke about someone:
16.
to acclimate
oneself to…: to get used to…/ to become accustomed to
17.
to lucubrate:
to
write or study, especially by night
18.
prelapsarian:
characteristic of the time before
the Fall of Man; innocent and unspoiled
(*Picture Source: https://www.tcs.on.ca/2014-10-30/tcs-presents-odd-couple-november-19th-21st)
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