Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Dr. Jedidiah's Diary Episode 12: Politically Correct Term describing my patient Tim


Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.



Episode # 12. Politically Correct Word for my patient Tim

When this teenaged boy named Tim was brought by his parents to my office, I wonder what made this handsome young man have to be here, which obviously seemed like it was never his own idea to visit a shrink. He was wearing a button-down shirt, meticulously tucked in his ironed pants. Tim did not look like an outgoing gadabout who hops from one party to another with his druggie friends. Besides, he did not show a hint of ADHD kind of problem either. Wait….maybe I had become way too accustomed to seeing a lot of cases with teenaged patients having somewhat common problems such as shoplifting, ADHD, substance abuse, bullying, traumatized by domestic violence, promiscuity, autism…..and you name it. Tim looked far from these common problems that I had witnessed. At least from the outside or the surface of his attitude, I could hardly detect any kind of issue, which was viewed as unhealthy or unsound by his parents, with this fine young man.


Tim said he had forcedly been in several different conversion therapy programs for more than 5 years. Aside from the pointless time spent in the programs, what had tortured Tim to the bone was his parents’ disapproval of his identity as a homosexual. Tim kept asking me over and over again if it was sin or crime to be punished or rectified for him to naturally think about his male friends. At those conversion therapy programs, the instructors -who were self-proclaimed messengers of God – always looked at him and other people there with a painfully condescending attitude. Tim said it made him sick to see the instructors standing with their arms akimbo and doing their perfunctory job of counselling and reforming in that institute. Each time he visited me at my office, he desperately said WHY he should feel unnerving and guilty about his inherent identity. Tim went to say that whatever he was, he had been born that way, ….which, he says, might also have been God’s mistake, NOT his own, to say the least. The “Why” had been imprinted on my mind until Tim’s parents decided to end these meetings with me at my office. 


I am just a psychiatrist who happens to be straight, and not a human right activist or an advocate of LGBTQ. One thing I know for sure is that being homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual is not a matter of choice to make. To my knowledge and the best of my belief, it is predestined to become male or female not only on the outside but from the inside as well. It is not something to be corrected or forced to be changed. As a shrink, I understand how hard Tim must have been, trying to follow what his parents want him to and show that he is normal in every way. Sadly, he had just few people around who would confidently come up and say Tim is normal. To his parents and the world around him, the word “homosexual” was not a neutral term that describes who he is, but just a politically correct word that insinuates Tim is an outcast or deviation from accepted norms of our society.
I still remember Tim’s sad eyes on our final session at my office.


Today, we see many conferences and assembly of sexual minorities being held here and there. Their street parades have continuously been criticized and frowned upon by most as one big blatant event that’s even viewed as salacious in the perilous extreme. I hope soon they could be accepted just the way they are, not as terminally ill patients, a wayward nonconformist, or crooked souls in our society at all.



 Expressions

     1.   gadabout: (noun) habitual pleasure-seeker/ a person who moves about restlessly or aimlessly, esp. from one social activity to another.

     2.   promiscuity: (noun) The term can carry a moral judgment if the social ideal for sexual activity is monogamous relationships. A common example of behavior viewed as promiscuous by many cultures is the one-night stand

     3.   conversion therapy programs: (noun) the pseudoscientific practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual using psychological or spiritual interventions

     4.   to rectify…: (verb) to set ….right/ to correct ………

     5.   akimbo: (adverb) to have the hands on the hips and the elbows bowed outward

     6.   perfunctory: (adjective) done routinely and with little interest or care or enthusiasm

     7.   LGBTQ: LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and either 'questioning' or 'queer’

     8.   to insinuate that….: to impart or suggest in an artful or indirect way; to imply…

     9.   wayward: (adjective) difficult or impossible to manage, control, or keep in order

     10.               salacious: (adjective) characterized by or indicating sexual desire; lustful: louche

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