Dr.
Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and
exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug
overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade.
During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from
various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and
listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings
from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for
therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through
which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with
himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for
thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.
Episode
#11. Two Faced Socialite
At first sight, I could tell Heather was from a
prestigious, upper crust family and
living a life that had rendered her into the state of ennui and never covetous of
material affluence in the world. After several decades of living as a highbred socialite, she looked unfathomably
bored, finding jokesters’ deadpan humor
so empty and even vomitous at the end-of-the-year celebrity party at her own
house in Holmby Hills, LA. Since it was the event by invitation only, I felt
kind of elated and proud of myself being surrounded by well-known figures that
night. I was another big cheese
among them.
By the time I was half way through my maximum drinking
capacity, I could feel a lady who was beautiful but a little misty-eyed coming closer
from the kitty corner in the banquet hall. It was Heather. “Getting stoned already?” said the lady
with a faint smile on her lips. I was trying to stand upright in front of her,
but already felt my knees starting to wobble due to the damn Bacardi cocktail along
with other hard liquor. It seemed tough to pretend sound and wide awake in mind
when I knew that I was coming on to
the legitimate alcoholic beverage. Although she must have known that I was not
quite sober enough to be all ears to her words, Heather was just nonchalantly talking about how her life
had been treating her for the past years. Like a broken record playing on the
turntable, I repetitively heard the same couple of words out of her mouth over
and over again. It was “near caught by the security at the mall”. ‘Hmmm…..wait, what?....Has she been almost caught
by the security at the mall? Is she talking about herself or what?....Is it me
getting hammered now or has she been
really shoplifting?’
In retrospect, she knew that I was halfway fried while she was owning up to her nasty habit of
stealing things at shopping malls. She knew that I was a friend of her friend’s
distant relatives’ and just wanted to secretly consult about her die-hard habit
even though I was not in mint condition as a shrink at that moment. Seemingly, she
was whispering her secrets in the ears of a taciturn giving tree that is far
from stirring up a rumor. All I can
recollect from that night was that I was throwing up inside a posh bathroom
inside her private room. My head was splitting and throbbing, and I was trying
to find some pain killers in the stranger’s bathroom. It was not until I
happened to open the door of a huge built-in cabinet that I came to realize
Heather’s confession poured into my ears were an indisputable fact. The moment
I opened the cabinet door, a bunch of big and small items still fresh with price
tags cascaded down to the floor. Whoa….
Heather, the rich and famous socialite, was living in such a double-faced life.
I was too embarrassed to come out of her bathroom. Hate to be situated in this
awkward state of mind with that lonely soul fallen asleep in her couch outside.
This looked like some kind of a recurring nightmare of my own as a shrink. When
I came out of her bathroom, Heather was sleeping
like a log in her bed. In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a small
white stuff hanging from her dress as if it were supplicating God for forgiveness. I mumbled myself on my way out of
her room ‘Cannot be…’ ‘Cannot be…’
I had never felt myself more incompetent and useless than
the night. One thought that still keeps revolving and hovering in my mind is
whether she was guilty, just unhappy, or fed up with her own insatiable greed.
When would I possibly reach the bottom of the psychological abyss? The long
driveway leading to her mansion was full of elation and now stained with bitter
sense of shame and confusion.
Expressions
1.
upper
crust: (noun) the highest social class
2.
to render
someone or something into ….: (verb) to cause someone or
something to be in a particular state
3.
ennui:
(noun) a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of
occupation or excitement
4.
covetous
of…:
(adjective) feeling, expressing, or characterized by a strong or immoderate
desire for the possessions of another:
5.
highbred: (adjective)
of superior stock or breed
6.
deadpan
humor: (noun) The art of having no expression on your face no
matter the hilarity or other reactions you are causing in your audience.
7.
big
cheese: (noun) someone knowledgeable and/or of importance and
high standing in an area or field
8.
stoned:
(adjective) drunk or intoxicated by drugs or alcohol
9.
to
come on to…: (verb) showing symptoms/ influences by
substance or alcohol
10.
nonchalantly:
(adverb) in a relaxed/ calm/ or careless manner
11.
hammered:
(adjective) very drunk
12.
fried:
(adjective) exhausted/ worn out
13.
to
own up to …: (verb) to admit/ confess that you have done
something wrong
14.
to
stir up a rumor: (verb) to start a rumor/ gossip
15.
to
cascade: (verb) to fall down like a waterfall in a rapid manner
16.
to
sleep like a log: (verb) to sleep very sound and deeply
17.
to supplicate
… for something/ to do something: (verb) to ask or beg for
something desperately and humbly
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