Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah
is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring
different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10
years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those
hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of
life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their
stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones
through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people
he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could
look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr.
Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or
some fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.
Episode
# 6 Comfortable Distance
As a shrink, who normally needs to get closer to
patients’ heart and soul, I have always thought about how close or how far the distance between a doctor and a patient
is supposed to be for helping both feel comfortable. It is not only the matter
of emotional or psychological distance but also of the physical distance
between two seated people in my office.
For the first few years since I started my career as a
doctor, my arm chair had been placed right in front of my patients’ seats
demarcated by a long rectangular desk in between. I thought that was a perfect
angle to see through my patients’ mind in the “syzygy” of the “patient – my desk – and me” looking at each other
in such an accurately straight row. To me, such a contrived atmosphere where
each one of us has a distinct role would make my patient be prepared to let his
or her hair down and dive right into the problems or agony they were facing. Besides,
looking each other in the eye seemed to me like an easy shortcut to a glanceable information about my
patients in the files on my computer.
It was not before long I found myself losing more and
more patients in my office. I had been dumb enough to believe that placing me
and my patient facing each other with such a short distance between us would
facilitate more honest conversations and enhance the irreplaceable
“doctor-patient”. rapport. It was no
more than my own myth. Many of those patients who were sitting in front of me
might have felt they were forced to capitulate
to doctor’s orders or demands against their own pace to open up their mind.
They might have needed comfortable space between me and themselves like the
wild animals out there in the jungle need a place to embosk themselves for safety.
After all those years, I had learned that my career as a
psychiatrist was the case of failure in this field of counselling for patients.
I had thought that I was right there in my comfortable chair guiding those suffering
souls with my expertise in andragogy.
Now I have realized how arrogant, self-centered, and insular doctor I was. If I were given
another chance to be in my old office waiting for my next patient, I would have
me and my patient seated comfortably apart, looking out the window together,
NOT facing each other. That way, both my patient reeling from pain and I would
genuinely be in the moment together for better tomorrow.
Expressions
1. syzygy: (noun)
a pair of connected or corresponding things
2.
glanceable:
(adjective) denoting or relating to information, especially as displayed on an
electronic screen, that can be read or understood very quickly and easily
3.
rapport:
(noun) a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups
concerned understand each other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.
4.
to capitulate:
(verb) cease to resist an opponent or an unwelcome demand; surrender
5.
to embosk:
(verb) to shroud or conceal especially with plants or greenery the summerhouse
all embosked with vines
6.
andragogy:
(noun) the art or science of teaching adults
7.
insular:
(adjective) characteristic of an isolated people; especially : being, having,
or reflecting a narrow provincial viewpoint
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