Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or being
truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him
with some food for thoughts in life….. or a fodder to justify his own mistakes
in the past.
Episode # 99. Soul Train Project
When Jeremy gave me an estimated expense for the time-travel
program, I was a bit taken aback at its steep price that I’d need to
pay. I said to myself ‘Whoa….is it really worth all that money?’, but I found
myself already signing a ton of pages in the packet presented right in front of
my eyes by Jeremy, the director of this huge virtual program for people like
me. He said there were a lot of people waiting for their turns to walk down
memory lane through this unprecedented platform, which meant that I was
supposed to make up my mind in any time soon before I might lose this
once-in-a-lifetime chance. As I was turning in the completely signed packet of forms
for the applicant passengers, I suddenly felt headaches and told Jeremy that my
hesitance must make me look so asinine. He laughed and said “Dr. J, you’re
not the only passenger that hesitates in the beginning of participation. Trust
me. You won’t regret your decision to be on this program, and I know you’re not
a malingerer. Quite a few passengers complain of headaches, sudden jolts
of pain in their stomach, clueless paresthesia, and sleepless nights
before they come for the ride. No worries. Just come only with excitement and
peaceful thoughts about your journey to the past in your life.”
Yes, I was immensely nervous and could hardly believe
that I’d be able to reconnect with my beloved wife Demi who left for Heaven
long ago. For so many nights and days leading up to the D-day, I had thought
over and over again about what I should say, visualizing in my head how I would
react when this unbelievable thing took place. ‘What if I’d end up feeling all
this like a total waste of time or some kind of a very pricey chicanery?
What if I storm out of the place, furiously yelling at Jeremy “In
your face!!!” ?’ But I knew it was too late to sklent from the truth
that I should’ve faced one day when Demi was alive in my life.
Making the effort to breathe the right way with hundreds
of deep inhales and exhales wasn’t good enough for quieting my racing heartbeats
on the edge of my seat, wearing a weird-looking head-mounted device. Jeremy’s
and his staff researchers’ voices in my headset gradually sounded surreal and finally
got out of my earshot. It was the moment to take off for this long-awaited
and never dreamt-of journey to see my Demi. I heard her voice now from a
distance. All at once, I was struggling to stand up in my ski boots. As I was
pulling myself together, I saw the most beautiful 28-year-old woman named Demi
reaching out her hand to help me out, saying “You made a huge sitzmark
right there, honey!” The sound of her big laugh, the touch of her hand, and the
sweetness of her soft voice raised me up right away. Demi went on to say “Honey,
you’re shivering. Are you okay, hon?” I could not tell if it was the chilly air
of the ski resort or the inexpressible emotion that came rushing through my
mind, but I knew I was trembling and lost for words. I held her in my arms for
quite a long time without a word. Demi looked me in the eye and said “you’re
still silly, being so painfully quiet. Well….but I like the way you look at me.
‘Cause I know I’m the only one for you.” Just as I would leave big sitzmarks in
ski slopes, Demi left a huge dent in my heart when she passed.
Demi and I had hours of a long talk full of tears and laughs
for the very first time in my life. Seeing her off at the dock where we used to
walk around, I asked her to keep me in her memory in the place above. She said “yes,
but only on one condition. Promise me that you won’t hurry your way here. I’ll always
be right here when you are ready to see me again.”
When Jeremy’s voice started to be heard again from a distance,
I came back to my world again where there’s no shadow of Demi’s I could hold on
to. Funny that I found myself hesitating again at the end of this virtual journey
like I did in the beginning. I wished that I would fade away into somewhere in
the memory lane with Demi once and for all.
Expressions
1. to be taken aback at something: to be surprised by/ shocked at…
2.
to walk
down memory lane: to spend time thinking about and remembering the
past or going to a place again in order to remind oneself of past experiences
3. asinine: stupid/ silly/absurd
4. malingerer: somebody who pretends to be ill
5. paresthesia: an abnormal sensation, typically tingling or
pricking (“pins and needles”), caused chiefly by pressure on or damage to
peripheral nerves
6.
chicanery:
guile, shenanigan, trickery, wile, dupery,
fraud, fraudulence, hoax
7.
to storm
out of (a place): to leave a place
quickly when you are angry or upset about something
8. in your face: slang that refers to
‘behaving or done in a direct, often rude way that
is annoying and cannot be ignored’
9. to sklent from…: to deviate from …
10. out of
one’s earshot: too far away to
hear
11. sitzmark:
a dent/ sunken area left in the snow by a skier
falling backward
*Picture
Source: https://www.wowza.com/blog/immersive-video-extended-reality
& https://www.greenbiz.com/article/its-time-bridge-clean-energy-partisan-divide