Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or being
truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him
with some food for thoughts in life…. .or a fodder to justify his own mistakes
in the past.
Episode # 91. Guns and Gems
Each time I think about the Liberian boy Morris, my mind turns
into a place strewn with all different kinds of emotions. Sometimes I feel
blessed to have known him, because he helped me feel better about myself; but at
the same time, I sense indelible bitterness creeping up from deep down inside,
because Morris could not have become such a torn lad had it not been for
crooked and insatiable minds of the adults. He always thanked me for
bringing him all the way to America, but his sad, big almond eyes were telling
me the truth of what he had to go through without a clue in the past.
I was one of the visiting M.D.s from the medical exchange
program to treat Liberians. The stuffy and humid air mixed with wind-borne
sand dust was welcoming our medical team to their mysterious land. A lot of
my patients that I met there were from Sierra Leone. One boy that caught my
eyes had no left arm from the elbow down. It was cut off by RUF soldiers.
The boy named Morris said he was still feeling twinge of pain in his lost forearm.
When he asked me if it was only his delusional symptoms, I wasn't able to answer his
question on the spot. It was not because he already lost his arm, but because
the pain must still feel way too raw, deep, and unbearable for the little boy
to resume his carefree life like a normal kid. Although Morris was very lucky
to be brought to Liberia by his uncle, his bloody memories in the war zone still
kept lingering on. Many of his cousins in Sierra Leone were recruited and
forced to dig up diamonds night and day, and this young one always told me not
to buy and give a diamond ring to my loved one. I can’t forget the wrath and
despair in his eyes when he said diamonds would be cursing anyone who owned it.
*Picture Source: https://ukdhm.org/sierra-leone-amputees-turn-to-art-2002/
As I was wrapping up the exchange program with my
colleagues there, I was strongly determined to take this smart boy to the
States so he could live his life as a happy child, ….otherwise a kid with a
better place to breathe. He stayed with a foster family for a year and was
adopted by them. Morris’ adoptive parents said he was selected as the Young Poets
of Town, and many of his poems were even published in the national poem book of
authority later on.
This is one of his pieces that I cherish in my patients’ files.
I get speechless and full of thoughts about Morris’ childhood.
Guns and
Gems
by Morris
Kamara Smith
The
smell of gunshots
Keeps the
darkest days in my memory.
Sometimes
it is like rotten eggs left in pots
And some
other times, it hollers at me in my head to let it be.
I was a
little soldier, but not an innocent swain.
Forced
to kill and take other souls like there’s no tomorrow.
Totally
drain in the swamp of human bloodstain,
No xenial smile could soothe my sorrow.
On the
day when my cousin Jo came back with a stolen diamond
My aunt
cried a river and asked him not to steal the gems anymore.
She looked
at me without an arm and said to Jo “Wanna end up in that horizon?”
Moms could
eat no more, sleep no more, and laugh no more.
Guns and
gems make me moan.
Soldiers
in the war zone and cognoscenti at jewelry shops
Always remind
me of lost souls in Sierra Leone.
I hope
to live as a farmer who could be happy with his seasonal crops.
Expressions
1. (be)
strewn with…: spread or scattered here and there
2. had it
not been for something/someone: without or in the absence of
something/ someone
3. insatiable:
impossible
to satisfy
4. wind-borne
sand: sand moved or blown by the wind
5. RUF:
Revolutionary
United Front is a rebel group that fought a failed eleven-year war in Sierra
Leone, beginning in 1991 and ending in 2002
6. swain:
a
young lover/ country youth
7.
cognoscenti: people
who are considered to be especially well informed about a particular subject/
expert
