Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left
him with some food for thoughts in life…. or a fodder to justify his own
mistakes in the past.
Episode #83. My
Girl with Rosolio Cheeks
Andrea loved Rosolio drinks from her home town.
The rufescent hue of her favorite liquor had a huge resemblance with her
attractive smile. Although she was quiet most of the time when we were out
and about together after her days in the rehab for alcoholics, I could tell
what was on her mind. Her beautiful eyes were still shining and asking me how
much I loved her. I’d say “To the moon and back, dear.” Then it looked
like she got a second wind and prepared to live her life again, but not quite ready to take my heart.
(*picture source: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Trademark-Fine-Art-Alice-Canvas-Art-by-Modigliani/694638859)
The three Summers I had spent in Sicily always hold a
special place in my boring life. Little had I expected that the long-awaited
hiatus from my work as a shrink would present me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
to fall in love with this Italian girl. I was totally submerged in the laid-back vibe
of this peaceful city and finding my lonely self fully ready to go out with any
lady in my sight right there at the peaceful beach, along the vibrant cobblestone
streets, in the middle of my exciting exploration of various historical sites,
and during the visits to dreamy wineries. I was lucky enough to stay with my
cousin Joe in Palermo who had a small restaurant there and made quite a lot of
money since his diner was located in the hot spot for tourists. One day he set
me up with a girl named Andrea, who was his assistant chef in the
restaurant. When she said “Ciao!” with that unforgettably bright smile, I
thought the pretty girl from my favorite Modigliani’s painting “Alice” was
walking up to me. The way she talks, the way she moves, and the way she looks
made me feel myself like an outlier from elsewhere, but not in a lonely way. I
was kind of savoring and cherishing every single moment that I had with Andrea
in that unfamiliar place.
Andrea knew where to go with me to beat the crowds in that city. Everywhere she took me, from the forested pine beach to ridge-top
temples of Agrigento, it felt as if we had been the two most valuable people to
be well treated and entertained in the world. It was not because those places
were offering transcendental experiences, but simply because I was with
someone who stole my heart. In a word, it was the time of my life….at least
until the day I found out she was alcoholic. Each time I was invited to her apartment,
I wondered why her place smelled like a mixture of all different kinds of liquor.
Andrea’s small living room had a shelf on which her collection of earthenware
pottery was displayed. She said “I would let you have my favorite Rosolio from
this Bucchero. This is our family treasure handed down from my great grandpa.”
She poured the sweet and tangy Rosolio into her and my glass to the brim and
said “My dad passed away when I was little. He was such a heavy drinker. I
hated the way he wasted his life, being an alcoholic. Since he was gone, I had
said to myself every night and day that I would never ever tasted even a drop
of liquor in my life. But as you see me here, I love “liquore”! I knew she
loved to count on liquid courage now and then, but did not realize how divorced
she was from reality. I thought any lovers’ conversations were not supposed
to be as rational or dispassionate as those of college professors’ in their conference
meet-ups. I was too absorbed and focused on my love for Andrea to find anything
weird or somewhat deviated from the right track of a sober person. My cousin
Joe told me he did not have a moment of doubting Andrea’s sobriety in his
restaurant until one of the waiters tipped him off about what happened
in his wine celler and beer tap. When Joe was told about Andrea’s stealing of
liquor from his restaurant, he thought the waiter had it in for Andrea. But
it was true that Andrea needed some help for her alcoholism.
I was in deep sea of sadness when Andrea checked in to a
rehab for her alcoholism. Her hopeless eyes were asking me to get her out of
that place, but all I could do is promise Andrea that I’d visit her every
single day, which I had done for a year. Even while she was in the rehab, my
love for her had not faded at all and I asked her to marry me to no avail. We
saw each other for another year although she’d had a relapse several times. On
the day I was leaving Sicily, I proposed to Andrea again and asked her to join
me for life in the States. She quietly whispered in my ears “I know you’re saying
your love for me is all the way to the moon and back, but look at me now. I am
not the Andrea you first met. I feel so weak, fragile, and no longer wear that
Rosolio cheeks. Don’t say I’ll be your love forever. Just knock on wood,
dear.” Andrea’s eyes were still shining, but the way she talked, the way she
moved, and the way she looked at me seemed to scream for help in the midst of struggling
to get out of a nebulous maze.
Expressions
1.
Rosolio:
a
sweet cordial made in South Italy from alcohol, raisins, sugar, rose petals,
cloves, and cinnamon
2.
rufescent: tinged
with red or rufous
3.
to be out and about: well
enough to come and go, especially after an illness
4.
to the moon and back: the
phrase is commonly used to express extreme love
5.
to get a second wind: to
gain renewed strength after a phase of fatigue
6.
long-awaited: having
been hoped for or expected for a long time
7.
to set someone up with ….: to
pair a person with someone else for a date or the possibility of a romantic
relationship
8.
to beat the crowds: do
stuff without being bothered by other people; get something done before other
people get in the way
9.
transcendental:
supernatural/ superior/ lofty
10. Bucchero: an
Etruscan black ceramic ware, often ornamented with incised geometrical patterns
or figures carved in relief.
11. liquid courage: alcohol,
regarded as a means of reducing one's inhibitions
12. to be divorced from reality: showing
no connection to what is real or true
13. to tip someone off: to
give secret information to someone, or to give someone information
14. to have it in for…: to
persistently try or desire to criticize, cause harm to, or harass someone,
especially due to a grudge
15. to knock on wood: This
phrase is used by people who rap their knuckles on a piece of wood hoping to
stave off bad luck. (the British version of this phrase is 'touch wood') The
phrases are sometimes spoken when a person is already experiencing some good
fortune and hope that it will continue - for example "I've been winning on
every race - touch wood".
16. nebulous: hazy/
unclear/ vague
