Dr. Jedidiah’s Diary
Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old
perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left
him with some food for thoughts in life…. or a fodder to justify his own
mistakes in the past.
Episode #65. Hank was hopelessly devoted.
Hank and I were pretty tight back in high school.
We were known as the coolest nerds not only in our school, but also among all
the regional champions of Scholastic Bowl activity and the Law & Order Club
we had created. The reason why they called ‘cool guys’ even though we were
teachers’ pets was because we had volunteered to help with our fellow
classmates who lagged behind with so-called challenging subjects like Geology,
Chemistry, Math, or Physics. Hank and I would started a small “study group” for
anyone of our friends who needed help with their homework or projects after
school, which later on became a talk of the town to be highlighted in the local
newspaper in our junior year. Until our graduation, Hank and I had been
savoring every single day of our young and wild high school days with more joy
along with sense of achievement and much less high school drama full of
stressful omnium-gatherum than any other students.
*source of image: https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/articles/anonymous-maryville-day-2-results
It was after a couple of years since I opened my psychiatric
clinic that I came to hear about Hank. At our high school reunion, Hank did not
show up, and friends said it would be hard to get a hold of him when I asked
them how he’d been doing. They just said Hank was living in his own world of pursuing
gormless zeitgeist: ‘Justice prevails in the end.’ I was completely clueless about what they said.
They told me that Hank had become insane, trying to live up to his grandiloquence
for the sake of making this society a better place to live. When I was
searching for a way to contact Hank for months after the high school reunion,
thank goodness, Hank’s brother Derick came to see me one day. The moment I saw Derick,
I could tell right away that he was here at my clinic for some professional
intervention to help his brother. He said Hank’s girlfriend disappeared out of
the blue, and the police department did not try their best until they finally
closed the case.
Hank spent more than 7 years to collect witnesses who
would help reveal that his girlfriend was kidnapped and murdered by the
notorious escort agency that was also involved with human trafficking to no
avail. In the end, Hank became a self-proclaimed vigilante and took to
the streets like a wolf in search of a prey at night. “He often ended up in the
local detention center after fistfights with drunken pimps or a random boozebag
in the streets, trying to pin the case of his girlfriend on them.
Some days the infinitesimal amount of illegal substance was found in Hank’s
blood sample drawn at a hospital.” said Derrick in despair. He wanted me to
help his brother get back on his life, forget his girlfriend, and walk away
from his bitter past.
On my way home, I thought about Derrick’s words. He said
his brother had become a hopeless, crazy fantast who wasted his life by
making all that hoopla to reinstate law and order in the sordid
picture of our society. I was caught up in the ambivalence over the
intervention to help him. Who really needs help? Who should I call a real deadbeat? The official authorities that
dream of keeping justice in our society which remain velleity or the vigilante
Hank who struggles to find truth, law, and order his own way?
Expressions
1. to be
tight with …: to be close or chummy with …
2. omnium-gatherum: a
miscellaneous collection of persons or things
3. gormless: naïve
or stupid
4. zeitgeist: the
defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas
and beliefs of the time
5. grandiloquence: a
lofty, extravagantly colorful, pompous, or bombastic style, manner, or quality
especially in language
6.
vigilante:
a member of a self-appointed group of citizens who undertake law
enforcement in their community without legal authority, typically because the
legal agencies are thought to be inadequate
7.
boozebag: Someone
who consumes copious amounts of alcohol and remains unaffected
8.
to pin something on somebody: to
blame someone for something, often when they are not responsible
9.
a fantast: an
impractical, impulsive person; a dreamer
10. hoopla: excitement
surrounding an event or situation, especially when considered to be unnecessary
fuss
11. to reinstate…: restore
(someone or something) to their former position or condition
12. sordid: involving ignoble actions and motives;
arousing moral distaste and contempt
13. velleity: a
wish or inclination not strong enough to lead to action
