Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife Demi to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been
his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds
of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world.
Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given
him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or
support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were
the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being
truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him
with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in
the past.
Episode #32. Judy, my friend who lifted me up
Judy was a strong, half-thug like woman that I came to know in the weekend hiking meets a few years ago. Nobody could caught her not wearing an old pair of jogger pants and an oversized sweatshirt that was terribly pilling here and there, which seemed to telling me that Judy was such a pill. The weekend hiking was like a haven to most of the members, including myself, to feel free and snap out of the weekday stress and worries that never seemed to stop consuming our lives.
One Sunday, I was way behind my friends while going upslope when it started to mizzle. Judy, who had certainly been much ahead of me, looked back and yelled “hey, doc J, are you documenting this area for your paper or what? C’mon, hurry!” I was unusually annoyed by her rude comment, which had already been familiar to me for years, because my new trail shoes were giving me nasty blisters on my big toes. I was like ‘Mind your own business, lady! Just keep going and showing off.’ inside my mind, but that would’ve been such a senseless riposte. Although Judy wasn’t my patient, I had always felt bad for what she had to go through in her life. I didn’t say anything back to her, but her eyes were like asking me how I could give her such a flinty look just as if I had said ‘Like I care!’.
Judy was living on food stamps and Medi-Cal system back in California. She must have needed more than basic food and medication to keep her hanging in there after she had lost her one and only daughter who had disability to a tragic car accident. When Judy found out that her disabled daughter had been sexually molested by her then-boyfriend, she decided to leave and extricate herself from that painful mire with her poor little one. Her daughter Mellissa was the only hope and reason Judy was living for. Years and years of hopping from one local grocery store to another thrifty store to make ends meet, Judy had depleted most of her energy to live her day-to-day life. However, at the end of her day was the most precious gift lighting up the darkness of her life waiting for her at home. Mellissa suffered from polio as an infant and became disabled since then. Judy and Mellissa were always financially difficult, but they rooted for each other by praying at their small dinner table “Thank you God for letting us have this hot bowl of soup and yummy sour dough bread….and….hope this bread doesn’t taste sour because mom picked it up from days-old bakery section.” They laughed their heads off every night. Happy and content, being together. Until the unforgettable day came when Judy found her young one in the morgue.
Judy kept showing up at the hiking meets every Sunday. I had never seen her smile or smirk but that drizzly day when I lagged way behind the group in the trail. She said “Welp…you know my life is just a friggin’ ghetto cliché. But I’ve been surviving all those years….thanks to this time in the mountains and trails. Mother nature says nothing to soothes my pain. Mountains, trees, and rocks are not like most people around me who cantingly say they understand how I feel and pray for me. You are like this nature to me, that never says anything to me as a shrink, but shows care as a true friend, hearing me out. Thank you for helping me feel that I am not underappreciated or invisible.” It was me who felt truly thankful at the moment when she said that. I was no longer a loser shrink in depression who backed down facing hardships in life. Judy made it possible to hope for a more scintillating chapter in my future.
Expessions
1. a pill:
a
disagreeable/ tiresome/ unpleasant person
2. to
mizzle: to rain/ to drizzle
3. riposte:
a
quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism
4. flinty:
heartless/
strict/ uninviting
5. ‘Like
I care!’: (rude slang) ‘I don’t really care!’ or ‘Who cares?! /
Who gives?!’
6. food
stamps: a coupon sold or given under a federal program to
eligible needy persons and redeemable for food at designated stores or markets
7. Medi-Cal
system: The California Medical Assistance Program (Medi-Cal or
MediCal) is California's Medicaid program serving low-income individuals,
including families, seniors, persons with disabilities, children in foster
care, pregnant women, and childless adults with incomes below 138% of federal
poverty level
8. to extricate….from…:
to
free (someone or something) from a constraint or difficulty.
9. to laugh
one’s head off: laugh heartily or uncontrollably
10. cantingly: (to
talk) hypocritically and sanctimoniously about something
11. to back down: to withdraw
a claim or assertion in the face of opposition
12. scintillating: sparkling
or shining brightly
