Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves
traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single
father who lost his wife Demi to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been
his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met
hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the
world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office
have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter
groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come
across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own
life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that
has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his
own mistakes in the past.
Episode # 19. My Patient Corti
Corti was the most difficult patient that I had ever met.
Very difficult to talk to, be around, and figure out either with all my expertise
as a shrink or with a deep imagination as a fecund author of novels of
my own. Although he came to see me with his own will, Corti seemed very reluctant
to show me who he really was or how he had been feeling as a politician. He’d
just say “I want you to fix my emotions. I always feel like I were riding on
some never-ending roller coaster every day.” Even without him expressing it
with his own words, anyone could tell he was suffering from manic depression.
One day he looked elated with all smiles, spending one full session with me on jactation
about his achievements as a statesman. However, the atmosphere of the follow-up
session was dimmed and heavy like his dismal face. On those gloomy days,
Corti would complain about his friends who called him a proselyte. Corti
had been going to a Presbyterian church, but just became a believer of Buddhism.
Each time I asked him if he could tell me why he changed his religion, he
remained silent.
I visited a small temple called Dharma Center, which had
become a new meditation place for Corti. When I asked some people there about
Corti, they told me weird things about him. A mid-aged woman named Linda said “Are
you his close friend? Then you must know how hard it is to describe Corti. At
first, I thought he was such a devoted Buddhist and an immaculate politician.
My first impression of Corti has gradually changed over the past half a year
though. I saw him and his young wife bickering so bitterly in the church
parking lot.” One of the monk leaders
there was very hesitant to respond to my questions about Corti, but he finally said
“Whenever he looked happy, his wife was wearing a pair of shades and a hat, sitting
next to him…or didn’t attend the class with him.” I intuitively realized there must have been
domestic violence in Corti’s house. That should be the reason why he stopped
going to the old Presbyterian church and wanted to start with a clean slate at
a whole new place, believing that he’d be safe here with a brand new religious
group.
Since Corti came to learn that I’d been asking about him
at his new Zen place, he totally ghosted me and went off-grid. His
disappearance was obviously followed by change of his contact numbers. He even
was not living in the home address he put in the patient’s chart any more. I was
frustrated, incompetent, and puzzled by Corti’s hopeless situation. Now that he
was gone out of my sight out of the blue, I wasn’t able to get closer to any faint
clues to disentangle his problems either inside or outside of my office. The
person who last saw Corti and his wife was their neighbor. He said “I haven’t
seen Mr. Corti Segal and his wife for a while. No more scenes are being made
now. He was always the one who fomented unrest in this community. He often
asked me if there was any good quiet temple around here where he could meditate.
Well….he was driving a huge Cadillac, but always pretended he wasn’t into
materialistic aspects of life.” This man also described Corti quite in a pedantic
style by saying “He was living an extravagant life but trying hard to disguise
in ‘floccinaucinihilipilification’!”
I haven’t heard from Corti for years now. He must be in some
other new neighborhood where he can be living two faced, struggling between his
multiple selves with conflicting and incompatible emotions inside. Just the
thought of those days when I was trying to find a path leading deep into his
complicated state of mind gives me headaches. Yes, as his name sounds to me, he
was like the stress hormone, Cortisol in my memory as a shrink. He gave me a
lot of concerns and doubts, but at the same time helped me stay in control
without losing my nerve as his doctor.
Expressions
1. fecund: fruitful/
prolific/ high-yielding
2. manic
depression: According to Mayo Clinic, manic depression is
a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings between highs
(mania) and lows (depression), according to the Mayo Clinic. Also known as bipolar
disorder.
3. jactation:
boastful
declaration or display/ bragging
4. dismal:
showing
or causing gloom or depression
5. proselyte:
a
new convert (as to a faith or cause)
6. to ghost
someone: to cut off all contact with someone
7.
to go off-grid: cutting
off all contact via internet and phone with friends and family for an alloted
amount of time
8.
to foment…: to instigate
or stir up (an undesirable or violent sentiment or course of action)
9.
floccinaucinihilipilification: the
estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one
of the longest words in the English language)
The official Summer time has kicked in! This
week, let’s play easy breezy “word scramble” with Summer vocabulary. The first
letter of each word is capitalized.
