Ring out the Old, Ring in the New Year!

Around this time of year with only a couple of days -that are filled with mixed emotions - left in the calendar, I find myself curled up in my own good old blanket with a cup of tea, reminiscing about what it’s been like for the past 12 months. Has it treated me right? Yup, it has to a certain degree.

By the end of 2017, my husband and I had to be jet-setting between our old home in Illinois and this new place in Texas in the midst of the process of inter-States moving. Keeping the old house in tip top shape and presentable to sell in the local housing market was physically and mentally exhausting. (Especially, dealing with grass management ‘till our house was sold was so challenging when we are literally not living there anymore. What frustrated us more was coming to realize that our 10-year-old neighborhood had filed a report to the city about our UNKEMPT LAWNS so that we’d pay a fine. UGH. “Thank you very much for having been such a nice friend of ours for a decade before showing your true colors when we moved out, for God sake!!!”)

2018 came. As a driver who’s chronically bad with directions, especially in a crowded city full of nauseous traffic jam all the time, I had tended to seclude myself from the outside world in this new town by staying cooped up in my own room. Felt trapped, miserable, and so out of touch with people as a total stranger in this new place to live. Perimenopausal symptoms was another unwelcome experience that had made me sunk in thoughts and loneliness. Cervical polypectomy was conducted in early March. Simple surgery, but it seemed to render “runner Jean” into a “dormant mid-aged woman with weak muscles” like going into long, deep hibernation. To top it all off, hip bursitis had stopped me from running for a whole month in June. Besides, my son got injured by a small accident (when something awfully heavy fell on his shin), which made him bed-ridden throughout his Spring break. The final straw on camel’s back took place when Hans was rear-ended by a reckless driver in a busy street, and to make matters worse, Hans lost his driver’s license while exchanging ID and vehicle registration information with that villain.

This past year of the golden dog sounds like a very lousy year to me and my family, isn’t it? Well….I can’t agree more. However, I’d say “Could’ve been worse.” Let me rewind those gloomy incidents now. Although I miss my good old friends in Illinois living far away from them, they are always checking with me and asking if I am doing alright, which is not an easy thing to expect from anyone out of your sight. Thanks to our friendship, I had been feeling closely connected even far away from Illinois. As for the surgery, it turned out perfectly well enough for me to feel as if I became a fresh, young person again. In hindsight, the hip bursitis that deterred me from heading out to run for a month had taught me how to listen to my bodily pain more seriously than before. Due to the pain, I faithfully started to include yoga and pilates in my daily workout sessions, which had gradually but effectively mitigated the pain in my left hip. I became a better runner who knows how to truly savor running without thinking about PR. Lastly, through Hans’s bitter experience of being rear-ended and losing his ID, the first thing he realized was that the world out there is way harsher than expected for an easy mark like him. Secondly, on a worst case scenario, if the bad guy could have gone overboard in his misdeed.

Yes, this past year wasn’t bad at all. We survived all the waves of big or small hardships quite successfully. As another brand new year is fast approaching, I do not want rambunctious or super exciting celebration. There’ll be no parties where I’d plant a big wet smackeroos. My one and only wish for the upcoming new year is that I’ll be able to see myself, my beloved family, and friends to stay peaceful and healthy throughout 365 days ahead and more.

Adieu, 2018! Come on over, 2019! Come what may, let us keep our hopes up and smile.

Christmas Quiz

Got plans to celebrate the end-of-the-year and Christmas with your loved ones? Here are some easy breezy Christmas quiz for English learners. Ready to solve the fun quiz?

(source from https://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=christmas-words)

1. This is a traditional Christmas drink made of beaten eggs, milk or cream and sugar.

A. Custard

B. Milkshake

C. Eggnog

 2. In places where winter is very cold, they usually have this place to make fires and to keep warm.

A. Fireplace

B. Chimney

C. Heater

 3. This plant is often used as a Christmas décor and people are given a kiss when they are found to be standing underneath it.

A. Mistletoe

B. Pine

C. Poinsettia

 4. Santa’s reindeers pulled this over ice and snow.

A. Car

B. Sleigh

C. Truck

 5. This is the scene showing the birth of Jesus Christ.

A. Nature scene

B. Christmas scene

C. Nativity scene

 6. They are Santa’s helpers; they help him prepare the gifts/ toys for the children.

A. Elves

B. Hobbits

C. Dwarfs

 7. This is a circle of fresh or dried flowers or leaves that people hang on their front door around Christmas time.

A. Wreath

B. Ring

C. Donut

 8. These are the thin strings of shiny paper used as decorations at Christmas.

A. Tinsel

B. Pompom

C. Christmas lights

 9. During Christmas Day, this is the traditional dessert made of dried fruits soaked in alcohol.

A. Pudding

B. Custard

C. Cake

 10. This is the traditional song during Christmas.

A. Rap song

B. Opera song

C. Carol

Answer Keys

    1.   C

    2.   A

    3.   A

    4.   B

    5.   C

    6.   A

    7.   A

    8.   A

    9.   A

    10.               C

Dr. Jedidiah's Diary: Episode 11

Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.

 

Episode #11. Two Faced Socialite

At first sight, I could tell Heather was from a prestigious, upper crust family and living a life that had rendered her into the state of ennui and never covetous of material affluence in the world. After several decades of living as a highbred socialite, she looked unfathomably bored, finding jokesters’ deadpan humor so empty and even vomitous at the end-of-the-year celebrity party at her own house in Holmby Hills, LA. Since it was the event by invitation only, I felt kind of elated and proud of myself being surrounded by well-known figures that night. I was another big cheese among them.

By the time I was half way through my maximum drinking capacity, I could feel a lady who was beautiful but a little misty-eyed coming closer from the kitty corner in the banquet hall. It was Heather. “Getting stoned already?” said the lady with a faint smile on her lips. I was trying to stand upright in front of her, but already felt my knees starting to wobble due to the damn Bacardi cocktail along with other hard liquor. It seemed tough to pretend sound and wide awake in mind when I knew that I was coming on to the legitimate alcoholic beverage. Although she must have known that I was not quite sober enough to be all ears to her words, Heather was just nonchalantly talking about how her life had been treating her for the past years. Like a broken record playing on the turntable, I repetitively heard the same couple of words out of her mouth over and over again. It was “near caught by the security at the mall”.  ‘Hmmm…..wait, what?....Has she been almost caught by the security at the mall? Is she talking about herself or what?....Is it me getting hammered now or has she been really shoplifting?’

In retrospect, she knew that I was halfway fried while she was owning up to her nasty habit of stealing things at shopping malls. She knew that I was a friend of her friend’s distant relatives’ and just wanted to secretly consult about her die-hard habit even though I was not in mint condition as a shrink at that moment. Seemingly, she was whispering her secrets in the ears of a taciturn giving tree that is far from stirring up a rumor. All I can recollect from that night was that I was throwing up inside a posh bathroom inside her private room. My head was splitting and throbbing, and I was trying to find some pain killers in the stranger’s bathroom. It was not until I happened to open the door of a huge built-in cabinet that I came to realize Heather’s confession poured into my ears were an indisputable fact. The moment I opened the cabinet door, a bunch of big and small items still fresh with price tags cascaded down to the floor. Whoa…. Heather, the rich and famous socialite, was living in such a double-faced life. I was too embarrassed to come out of her bathroom. Hate to be situated in this awkward state of mind with that lonely soul fallen asleep in her couch outside. This looked like some kind of a recurring nightmare of my own as a shrink. When I came out of her bathroom, Heather was sleeping like a log in her bed. In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a small white stuff hanging from her dress as if it were supplicating God for forgiveness. I mumbled myself on my way out of her room ‘Cannot be…’  ‘Cannot be…’

I had never felt myself more incompetent and useless than the night. One thought that still keeps revolving and hovering in my mind is whether she was guilty, just unhappy, or fed up with her own insatiable greed. When would I possibly reach the bottom of the psychological abyss? The long driveway leading to her mansion was full of elation and now stained with bitter sense of shame and confusion.

Expressions

   1.   upper crust: (noun) the highest social class

   2.   to render someone or something into ….: (verb) to cause someone or something to be in a particular state

   3.   ennui: (noun) a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement

   

   4.   covetous of…: (adjective) feeling, expressing, or characterized by a strong or immoderate desire for the possessions of another:

   

   5.   highbred: (adjective) of superior stock or breed

   

   6.   deadpan humor: (noun) The art of having no expression on your face no matter the hilarity or other reactions you are causing in your audience.

   7.   big cheese: (noun) someone knowledgeable and/or of importance and high standing in an area or field

   8.   stoned: (adjective) drunk or intoxicated by drugs or alcohol

   9.   to come on to…: (verb) showing symptoms/ influences by substance or alcohol

   10.               nonchalantly: (adverb) in a relaxed/ calm/ or careless manner

   11.               hammered: (adjective) very drunk

   12.               fried: (adjective) exhausted/ worn out

   13.               to own up to …: (verb) to admit/ confess that you have done something wrong

   14.               to stir up a rumor: (verb) to start a rumor/ gossip

   

   15.               to cascade: (verb) to fall down like a waterfall in a rapid manner

   16.               to sleep like a log: (verb) to sleep very sound and deeply

   17.               to supplicate … for something/ to do something: (verb) to ask or beg for something desperately and humbly

Dr. Jedidiah's Diary Episode #10 My Life Before and After Demi

Dr. Jedidiah is a psychiatrist who loves traveling, meeting new people, and exploring different cultures. As a single father who lost his wife to drug overdose 10 years ago, he has not been his old perky self for the last decade. During those hard years, he has met hundreds of, thousands of people from various walks of life around all over the world. Meeting new people and listening to their stories outside his office have given him different feelings from the ones through the formal encounter groups or support groups for therapy. These people he has accidentally come across were the paths through which Dr. Jedidiah could look back on his own life, being truly honest with himself. Here is Dr. Jedidiah’s monologue that has left him with some food for thoughts in life….or a fodder to justify his own mistakes in the past.

Episode # 10. My Life Before and After Demi

It was a lazy afternoon when the lung-freezing, gelid air outside made it feel warmer and more snuggly in the cozy little nook of my personal athenaeum. I was enjoying this halcyon moment of daily dose of lone time in my rocking chair away from my nerve-racking grind, patients, duties as a husband, and desire to gain fame or glorify my days with a decade-long empirical research conducted at my office. However, it was not a nap time for me. It was more of a time slot during which every flakelet of my scattered thoughts about life is finding its place like jigsaw puzzle pieces in their right places. While I had been savoring this quiet but very rewarding time and space to myself getting closer to the lost clues in my own life, my better half Demi had been gradually and painfully estranged from her own fountain of happiness.

The wall clock in my room stroke upon 4 P.M. when I heard a distant, but distinct tinkle of a glass breaking. I instinctively thought Demi was in trouble. If someone had watched me that moment, they might have thought I was going berserk with deep feelings of doubt about my wife’s fidelity, because the first place that I ran to in search of that noise was my wife’s bedroom. No one was there. Bathrooms checked. Walk-in closets checked. Sun room and basement checked. Even garage checked. My search for Demi was to no avail. After more than half an hour of looking for my woman in my own house, I heard some faint sound of sobbing coming from the corner pantry in our dining room.

Demi was burying her head inside her balled body, weeping but smiling at the same time. As her eyes met mine, Demi slurred her words. “Go away! Just leave me alone! You ain’t seen nothing, honey….” What freaked me out more than her words were the disposable syringes strewn across the floor inside the pantry along with broken pieces of wine glasses. I was lost for words. I just said to myself ‘Why!…. Since when?....’

That day was the most shameful day in my entire life as a shrink and as a self-proclaimed devoted husband. How could a woman, who has a Psychiatrist hubby, be so lonely and hopelessly eaten up in her own trap of misery! Had I ever sat with Demi in her pain without sparing myself even when I was worn out after work? No. Not even once. I used to come back home at 6 P.M. sharp every night, but my physical presence had not made any difference to dredge my wife from the seabed of inner turmoil and extreme loneliness. I’d zone out most of the time while she was talking at dinner table. Some may say “Love is the shortest distance between two hearts.” Demi and I were in love, but too far away from each other to hear or see the inner holler over the years.

Had I not lost Demi to drugs and alcohol, I could never have tried to change laymen’s twisted perception or prejudice towards the people struggling to find peace through their last resort: substance or alcohol. Whenever they get hit by the unwarned visitation of solitude, they could turn to something that is not judging but just waiting for them to be reached.

For the past decade, I have spent more of my time to raise the matter of overlooked victims and their families of drug and alcohol abuse than in the simple rehab treatments provided at my clinic. Each time I meet those families affected by drug and alcohol abuse from all over the States, I can tell one thing for sure about what they really want. They and their family members victimized by substance or alcohol needed someone to be all ears to their problems without criticism. They are not outcasts. They are not losers. They are just lonely souls.

Expressions

   

   1.   gelid: (adjective) very cold, freezing, and icy

    

   2.   athenaeum: (noun) reading room/ library

   

   3.   halcyon: (adjective) calm and peaceful

   

   4.   grind: (noun) backbreaker/ hard work/ study

   

   5.   flakelet: (noun) small piece

   

   6.   to go berserk: to go crazy/ to go uncontrollably mad

   

   7.   self-proclaimed: (adjective) proclaimed to be or described as such by oneself, without endorsement by others

   

   8.   to zone out: (verb) to lose concentration or become inattentive

Are you taking a Turnpike or a Shunpike?

Looking back on my life, especially here in the States, I’ve come to realize that I have always been viewed by people around me as the one in a rush most of the time. “Hurry! Make it quick! Bustle around! Step on it! No time to lose!” must have been the unhealthy modus vivendi that’s been established deep inside of my life.

Back in my days during master’s program of TESOL, I studied night and day to understand all the theories and concepts of teaching ESL/EFL, trying hard to stay ahead of course schedules. Topics for term papers were chosen in two weeks, written and revised by week 3, and then submitted way in advance. Even for the four-day long ‘take-home comprehensive exam’, I had prepared for the culminating project by making myriads of example questions and answers that could be on the test since one full year before the D-day, and was lucky enough to complete the 26 page-long papers to turn in only within two days. I’d even told my little son Hans to turn in his arts-and-crafts homework without having to embellish his less-than-perfect creations.

 The nail artist friends of mine named “My” and “Lily” had always said “Jean, you got somewhere to go right after this? Just wait ‘till your nails are fully dry and good to go.” At the post office, I have been the only one who seems impatient, grumbling to myself in a low voice ‘How come this post office is ALWAYS crowded?!!!’, in the long line of people waiting for their turns to send their mail. At the gym, I have been the very one that was running to my favorite treadmill without even stopping by lady’s locker room or rest room. At the shopping mall, I have never entered a store where I haven’t been to unless it carries the item on my shopping list. The road is no the exception. Being stuck in heavy traffic, I’ve been swearing four letter words at random slow drivers ahead of me, wishing they might have read my lips. “Hurry, you slow poke!”

Now that I moved to this South Central region of this country, my morbidly ingrown snappishness in life stands out more in the crowd. Most people here are very laid-back and scarcely lose their temper or throw a fit over trivial matters. Hmm….maybe it’s time for me to shift gears in the second round of my life.

The famous artist, illustrator, and author of children’s book named Tasha Tudor said “Nowadays, people are so jeezled up. If they took some chamomile tea and spent more time rocking on the porch in the evening listening to the liquid song of the hermit thrush, they might enjoy life more.” Like she mentioned, I am thinking about taking a slow shunpike rather than a turnpike with speed for the rest of my life, for the purpose of being truly savoring here and now.

Expressions

   1.   Step on it!: (phrase) Move briskly! / Hurry!

   2.   to be good to go: (phrase) ready to leave or to start doing something

   3.   morbidly: (adverb) suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; in an unwholesomely gloomy way or extremely

   4.   to throw a fit: (verb) to get very angry and fly into a rage

   5.   shunpike: (noun) a side road taken instead of a turnpike or expressway to avoid tolls or to travel at a leisurely pace

   6.   turnpike: (noun) express ways or main road with a toll gate