LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #73. The Mountain between Us (film, 2017)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you take delight in watching films, listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#73. The Mountain Between Us (film, 2017)

The story begins when bad weather disrupts flight schedules. Dr. Ben Bass, a neurosurgeon (played by Idris Elba), and a photojournalist Alex (played by Kate Winslet) charter a private plane to Denver. During the flight, the pilot suffers a fatal stroke, causing the plane to crash in the snowy mountains. Stranded with only the pilot's dog, Ben and Alex must work together to survive. With little hope of rescue, they embark on a dangerous journey that tests their courage, tenacity, resilience, and inner strength to survive.

 

(Alex said): “Look, I don't want to die up here because you're too scared to take a risk. We have to do something."

ð     Alex embodies instinct, determination, and forward momentum. Convinced that no rescue is coming, she believes that remaining in their shelter is nothing more than waiting for death to arrive. To her, survival requires courage and decisive action, even if the path ahead is dangerous and uncertain. She would rather confront the unknown than surrender to the slow, inevitable consequences of inaction. Her philosophy reflects the belief that hope is sustained through action, not passive endurance.

In contrast, Ben approaches the crisis with the careful reasoning of a physician. He values logic, planning, and minimizing unnecessary risks. Surrounded by an unforgiving, snow-covered wilderness, he fears that venturing into the unknown could leave them hopelessly lost and expose them to even greater dangers, including freezing temperatures, starvation, and injury. His cautious mindset is rooted not in cowardice but in his desire to preserve the safest option available, even if it means waiting for rescue.

 

(Ben said): “If we stay here we're safe. If we leave, search and rescue, they're less likely to find us.”

ð     In many situations, staying put in the place where you are significantly increases the likelihood of being found and rescued. The idea is rooted in practical survival logic and the realities of search-and-rescue operations. Search-and-rescue (SAR) teams typically begin their efforts at a missing person's last known location or along their planned route. By contrast, moving through unfamiliar terrain can dramatically complicate rescue efforts. Obviously, every mile traveled expands the search area and forces rescuers to account for countless possible directions and destinations, reducing the chances of a timely rescue.

Ben is trying to convince Alex about the belief that patience and strategic caution can be more effective than impulsive action. It recognizes that survival is not always about pushing forward; sometimes it is about making smart decisions, preserving resources, and increasing the odds that rescuers will find you. In life-or-death situations, the discipline to remain calm and stay put can be just as important as the courage to keep moving.

 

(Alex said): “We might die together and I don't even know you.”

ð    In this scene, we can see a profound moment of vulnerability, shared humanity, and existential connection between two total strangers. Having been thrust into a life-threatening situation, they come to realize that their survival is inseparably linked despite having no prior relationship. Faced with overwhelming adversity, they must place their trust in one another, recognizing that neither can endure the ordeal alone. In the face of an unexpected disaster, social barriers, personal differences, and preconceived notions quickly fade away. When survival becomes the overriding priority, distinctions such as background, profession, race, or social status lose their significance. What truly matters is the shared determination to endure, cooperate, and rely on one another.

Ultimately, the quote serves as a powerful reminder that crisis often reveals our shared humanity, demonstrating that even complete strangers can form deep bonds when united by a common struggle for survival.

  

** Jean’s Small Thoughts:

What serves as your emotional anchor—the solid rock that keeps you grounded, sane, and at peace throughout life's uncertainties? The Mountain Between Us reminds us that even complete strangers can find the strength to trust one another in the most desperate circumstances. It shows that the resilience of the human spirit and the power of hope can be rebuilt even after they have been shattered. As long as we choose compassion and extend an invisible hand to another person, healing and strength become possible.

To me, the "mountain" between Dr. Ben Bass and Alex Martin symbolizes far more than the physical wilderness they must cross. It represents the emotional and psychological distance created by their vastly different personalities and worldviews. Ben, a cautious neurosurgeon, approaches every challenge with logic, discipline, and careful analysis. Alex, an adventurous photojournalist, relies more on intuition, courage, and the willingness to embrace calculated risks. Throughout the story, these contrasting perspectives frequently collide, creating a recurring tension between reason and instinct.

Yet the film ultimately suggests that neither logic nor emotion alone is enough to overcome life's greatest trials. True resilience emerges when the two are held in balance. Ben's rational thinking tempers Alex's impulsiveness, while Alex's optimism and courage inspire Ben to take risks he would otherwise avoid. Their differences, rather than dividing them, become complementary strengths that enable them to survive challenges neither could have faced alone.

As they journey through the unforgiving wilderness, their relationship gradually evolves from reluctant cooperation to deep trust and genuine affection. In doing so, the film reminds us that human connection is more than a source of emotional comfort—it is often the very foundation of our strength. Sometimes, the presence of another person gives us the courage to keep moving when our own strength begins to fail. Like Ben and Alex, each carrying unseen wounds from their past, we all encounter hardships that shape who we become. Their journey of survival is also a journey of healing, suggesting that adversity can transform not only our circumstances but also our perspectives. Through shared struggles, we learn empathy, resilience, and the value of trusting others.

Perhaps one of the film's most enduring messages is that we should not allow fate alone to determine our future. While we cannot control every circumstance, we can choose how we respond. We can choose courage over fear, hope over despair, and compassion over isolation. Life rarely follows a straight path. It is filled with unexpected twists, setbacks, and mountains that seem impossible to climb. Although it should be much easier if life explicated the explicit for us to navigate without mistakes, it would rather imbricate the hidden meanings for us to find them out by ourselves or learn the hard way. The question is not whether fear will appear—it inevitably will. The real question for myself and you all is: Will you have the courage to keep moving forward despite it?

 

LET'S THINK ABOUT FOOD MYTHS FOR ACTIVE PEOPLE!

Food Myths that Should Be Ditched

Every day, we're flooded with health advice, making it easy to feel overwhelmed about what choices are truly right for us. Here are a few common myths worth questioning—especially if you lead an active lifestyle. As a daily runner, I freaked out at some of the following myths that I have faithfully been following. Check if you are also one of the believers of myths.

(**The following is an excerpt from RW magazine.)

 

    1.  MYTH: YOU SHOULD EAT A LOW-CARB DIET.

ð     This is one of the most common and harmful nutrition myths for runners. Carbs are exactly what we need, says Minnesota-based sports dietician Alex Larson, RD. Even if you’re getting enough calories, insufficient carbohydrate intake puts you at risk for your under-fueling.

 

    2.  MYTH: LOW-FAT & LOW-SUGAR BETTER.

ð     Anytime manufacturers remove something, they add something else (to improve taste). These foods are often higher in unhealthy fats, calories, or artificial ingredients.

 

    3.  MYTH: SNACKING IS BAD.

For runners, snacking is an additional opportunity to get the nutrition you need for the day, because it can be hard to get enough in just two or three meals. There is also a solid case for a bedtime snack. It gives your body the energy it needs so you’re not waking up hungry.

 

    4.  MYTH: VEGAN IS HEALTHIER.

There is no universally perfect diet – and avoiding entire food groups can come with health risks. When you cut major food groups like meat, seafood, and dairy, you are also cutting out key essential nutrients like iron, ferritin, vitamin B12, zinc, and calcium.

 

    5.  MYTH: YOU SHOULD RUN FASTED.

ð  While skipping breakfast before a morning run is meant to force your body to use fat reserves for fuel, it is more likely to break down muscle tissue instead. That includes skeletal and cardiac muscle tissue, which not only hurts performance in the short term, but also sets up for overtraining.

 

    6.  MYTHS: FRUIT HAS TOO MUCH SUGAR.

ð  Fruit contains important phytochemicals like vitamin C, E, and beta-carotene, which serves as antioxidants, phytoestrogens, and anti-inflammatory agents. It also contains fiber, potassium, and folate, all of which support overall health and disease prevention.

 

 

Haiku about RUNNING by Jean Lee

 

Seeing commercials

Where a girl is parkouring

Prompts me to head out!

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #72. Remastered: The Two Killings of Sam Cookes (documentary film, 2019)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you take delight in watching films, listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#72. Remastered: The Two Killings of Sam Cooke (documentary film, 2019)

This documentary explores the mysterious death of artist and activist Sam Cooke, a case that remains unresolved. In just 33 years, Cooke left a remarkable legacy as a pioneering soul musician, gifted songwriter, successful businessman, and passionate civil rights advocate. As the title suggests, the film explores not only Sam Cooke’s death but also the loss of what he could have become, especially as a civil rights leader. The filmmakers sought insights from people who knew him personally and from colleagues who worked closely with him.

 

“I’m a man, and I’m a black man, and as a black man, I have responsibility to go on this show and bring down whatever walls and whatever boundaries I can’t help dissipate by showing that I’m talented, I’m skilled, I can compete with the best of them. In fact, there was an audience within white America that was very interested in having me seen there.”

ð    This quote reveals Sam Cooke’s strong sense of responsibility as a groundbreaking Black artist. He tried to make the best use of his extraordinary talent and charisma to challenge racial barriers, break stereotypes, and demonstrate that Black artists could excel at the highest levels. Through his success, he helped create opportunities for future generations. Furthermore, Sam Cooke made exerted efforts to break down segregation in the entertainment industry, proving that Black artistry could compete with the very best, and embracing integration as a path toward social progress.  

 

                  

                  Malcolm X                        Sam Cooke & Muhammad Ali

“He certainly had hit a point in his career where he could’ve just been playing at the biggest night clubs in New York, in Los Angeles, in Chicago. It would have been easy for him not to go back to the South. But I think it was important for him to constantly keep that connection. For himself and for his audience. But to keep his fingers on what was happening in the Civil Rights movement which wasn’t happening the same way in the North or the West.”

ð     This quote underscores Sam Cooke’s dedication to the Civil Rights Movement and his choice to stay connected to the segregated South, even after achieving national fame. He was successful enough to perform exclusively in top venues across major cities, avoiding the hardships of touring the South. Yet he chose to return because he wanted to remain connected to working-class Black communities and the realities they faced.

His experiences in the South kept him closely tied to the heart of the civil rights struggle, where protests, boycotts, and voter registration efforts were taking place. Witnessing these injustices firsthand helped shape his social awareness and inspired him to write his powerful political anthem, “A Change Is Gonna Come”.

 

“Why is it Bob Dylan, this white artist, who is speaking to the masses about social change at the moment during the midst of the Civil Right Movement? Why aren’t we seeing black artists do that themselves?”

ð    We can imagine the difficult reality Sam Cooke faced as a Black artist in the 1960s. He realized that white musicians could openly sing about racial injustice and be praised for their socially righteous voice, while Black artists often risked losing commercial success if they spoke too directly about civil rights issues.

The situation left Cooke feeling both challenged and inspired. Although he had focused on creating broadly appealing music, he recognized that he had a unique responsibility to address the struggles of the Black community. This realization became a turning point in his career and helped inspire “A Change Is Gonna Come”, a powerful song that gave voice to the hopes and hardships of the Civil Rights Movement.

 

“When you see someone as prominent as Sam Cooke get killed like that under very mysterious circumstances and his life is not valuable enough to have a real investigation by local law enforcement there in Los Angeles, it’s not surprise that to this day, there are a lot of people who still believe that there were some sort of cover-up, some sort of conspiracy around the death of Sam Cooke. I mean, what else are we gonna think, particularly given our history in America, our relationships with law enforcement all over the country, and the fact that if you happen to be a black person who speaks out in any kind of way, who does anything that seems to be empowering for the Black community, you are automatically a target.”

ð     This quote tells us about the racism and lack of accountability surrounding Cooke’s death in 1964. The rapid ruling of “justifiable homicide” and the limited investigation raised questions that continue to fuel suspicions and debate today. Sam Cooke was more than a celebrated musician. As a successful businessman and outspoken advocate for civil rights, he challenged racial barriers and empowered the Black community. We could assume that individuals who achieve influence and challenge the status quo are often viewed as threats, making Cooke’s story about both personal tragedy and broader social injustice.

 

** Jean’s Small Thoughts:

Each time I hear about people being murdered because of racism, I feel a deep sense of sadness and helplessness. It is not surprising that many believe there is more to Sam Cooke’s suspicious death—and the untimely deaths of other influential Black leaders—than what has been publicly revealed.

This documentary captures both the spirit of Sam Cooke’s activism and the challenges Black artists faced in America. They were expected to entertain audiences while simultaneously fighting for equality, dignity, and basic human rights. Sadly, the unfair atmosphere due to racial discrimination in the field of entertainment had quietly continued, and many of these issues still remain relevant today. Sam Cooke, Muhammad Ali, Malcolm X, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and Jim Brown were more than public figures; they inspired and challenged one another, helping shape American culture and social progress. The film encourages us to reflect on what they might have accomplished had their lives not been cut short by those who fear the power. Their legacies remind us of both their remarkable contributions and the profound loss created by their absence.

It also leaves me wondering when racism—one of the most painful and enduring problems in American society—will finally come to an end, and when every citizen will truly embrace the nation's motto, E Pluribus Unum—"Out of many, one"—by recognizing our shared humanity despite our differences.

TIME TO PLAY THE PUZZLE aired today on NPR! Give me the names of world capital cities!

Every answer is the six-letter name of a world capital, in which I've changed the first and last letters. You name the capitals.

 

Ex. VASSAL  -->  NASSAU (capital of the Bahamas)

 

1. CONDOR

 

2. ROSCOE

 

3. PUBLIC

 

4. SAVANT

 

5. ZANILY

 

6. DRAG UP

 

7. ETHENE

 

8. TARSAL

 

9. TUSCAN

 

10. NONACT

 

11. I AGREE

 

12. [7 letters:] CALLING

 

 

Answer Keys

    1.   LONDON (capital of England & the UK)  

    2.   MOSCOW (capital of Russia)

    3.   DUBLIN (capital of Ireland)

    4.   HAVANA (capital of Cuba)

    5.   MANILA (capital of the Philippines)

    6.   PRAGUE (capital of Czechia)

    7.   ATHENS (capital of Greece)

    8.   WARSAW (capital of Poland)

    9.   MUSCAT (capital of Oman)

   10. MONACO (city state of Monaco)

   11.  ZAGRED (capital of Croatia)

   12.  TALLINN (capital of Estonia)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #71. Beyond Good and Evil (authored by Friedrich Nietzsche)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you take delight in watching films, listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#71. Beyond Good and Evil (authored by Friedrich Nitzsche)

In the year of 1886, the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche challenged traditional ideas of morality, arguing that concepts of "good" and "evil" are shaped by society rather than being universal truths. He encouraged people to think independently, question accepted beliefs or the faith they had been instilled, and create their own values. In this book, he suggested that human actions were driven by a desire for growth and influence, which he calls the "will to power." The book lays the foundation for a new way of thinking that embraces different perspectives and challenges rigid, dogmatic views.

 

“Everything that is profound loves the mask: the profoundest things have a hatred even of figure and likeness. Should not the CONTRARY only be the right disguise for the shame of a God to go about in? A question worth asking! – It would be strange if some mystic has not already ventured on the same kind of thing.”

ð     In this quote, Nietzsche suggests that profound truths and deeply personal experiences often need a "mask" to protect them from misunderstanding or shallow judgment. He argues that people with genuine depth naturally develop these masks because their words and actions are frequently misinterpreted. Nietzsche also believes that great truths cannot be fully captured through simple images, allegories, or direct explanations. Any attempt to do so risks reducing their complexity and meaning. He goes on to propose that true greatness may deliberately hide itself behind an ordinary or even unattractive appearance. What seems crude, insignificant, or flawed on the surface may conceal something extraordinary beneath.

In short, Nietzsche views shame as a force that protects what is most delicate and valuable within us. Sometimes, people may even hide their acts of kindness or compassion behind distracting behavior to preserve the privacy and purity of those moments.  

 

“A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach, and with regard to the existence of which his nearest and most intimate friends may be ignorant; his mortal danger conceals itself from their eyes, and equally so his regained security.”

ð     Nietzsche argues that people with great depth often hide their true thoughts, struggles, and values behind a "mask." They know that others may misunderstand their deeper nature, so they allow a simpler image of themselves to be seen. Such individuals often follow unique paths and wrestle with challenges that are difficult for most people to understand. Nietzsche also believes that shame can be creative and protective. Rather than concealing wrongdoing, it can help people safeguard their most cherished ideals, virtues, and vulnerabilities from being diminished by casual judgment or public scrutiny.

 

“There are systems of morals which are meant to justify their author in the eyes of other people; other systems of morals are meant to tranquilize him, and make him self-satisfied; with other systems he wants to crucify and humble himself, with others he wishes to take revenge, with others to conceal himself, with others to glorify himself and gave superiority and distinction, - this system of morals helps its author to forget, that system makes him, or something of him, forgotten, many a moralist would like to exercise power and creative arbitrariness over mankind”

ð   In this passage, Nietzsche argues that morality is less about universal truth and more about the reflection of personal drives or psychology. Moral beliefs, he says, often reflect a person’s hidden emotions, needs, and desires rather than pure altruism. He elaborates on moral systems in many ways. People use moral systems to justify themselves and appear virtuous, to calm their fears and gain self-comfort, to punish or suppress themselves, to take revenge by condemning strength or success, to hide their flaws or avoid uncomfortable truths, and to influence or control others by imposing their values.

Nietzsche points out that morality is not a fixed, objective law for everyone. Instead, it is shaped by human perspectives and by a deeper drive for self-assertion and power—what he calls the “Will to Power”.

 

“Almost everything that we call “higher culture” is based upon the spiritualizing and intensifying of CRUELTY – this is my thesis; the “wild beast” has not been slain at all, it lives, it flourishes, it has only been – transfigured. That which constitutes the painful delight of tragedy is cruelty; that which operates agreeably in so-called tragic sympathy, and at the basis even of everything sublime, up to the highest and most delicate thrills of metaphysics, obtains its sweetness solely from the intermingled ingredient of cruelty.”

ð     Nietzsche argues that civilization has not eliminated humanity’s instinct for cruelty—it has simply transformed it into more refined forms. What we admire as “high culture” such as art, philosophy, religion, and morality may be expressions of the same impulses that once appeared as physical violence and domination.

He explains that our enjoyment of tragedy often contains a hidden fascination with suffering, while even sympathy can involve a subtle sense of superiority over those who are suffering. Nietzsche also extends this idea to the pursuit of truth. Philosophers must confront painful realities and dismantle comforting illusions, making intellectual honesty a form of self-directed cruelty. In other words, Nietzsche claims that many of humanity’s highest cultural achievements are not the opposite of our darker instincts but rather their transformed and spiritualized expression.

 ** Jean’s Small Thoughts:

Reading Nietzsche’s philosophy on morality made me reflect on how complex and often contradictory human beings can be. We spend so much time debating what is right or wrong, just or unjust, good or evil, yet it is difficult to know whether we truly follow the values we claim to believe in.

Nietzsche challenges the idea of a single universal moral code, arguing that people differ in their abilities, circumstances, and aspirations. Because of these differences, he sees one standard of morality for everyone as both unrealistic and restrictive. His concept of the “Will to Power” suggests that human behavior is driven not simply by survival but by the desire for growth, influence, achievement, and self-mastery. This idea can be seen in the modern world, where nations and individuals often justify their actions with noble ideals while also pursuing power and self-interest. Today's war situations among power houses are telling us about their "Will to Power", never upholding or championing the cause of universal good.

I am particularly drawn to Nietzsche’s skepticism toward objective truth. He argues that our understanding of the world is always shaped by perspective. As a result, philosophies should be evaluated not only by whether they claim to be true, but also by how well they encourage growth, vitality, and a fuller engagement with life. For me, Beyond Good and Evil is an invitation to question assumptions, broaden perspectives, and continually refine our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

June is the LGBTQIA+ Pride Month!

June is Pride Month, a time to celebrate LGBTQIA+ identities, equality, diversity, and inclusion. Communities around the world mark the occasion with events that raise awareness about issues such as discrimination and transgender rights. It is also a great opportunity to learn more about LGBTQ terminology and advocacy. As language continues to evolve, understanding these changes can help us communicate with greater respect and awareness.

 

As well aware, each letter in the acronym LGBTQIA+ means:

L: Lesbian

G: Gay

B: Bi(sexual)

T: Trans(gender)

Q: Queer or Questioning (sexuality and/or gender identity)

I: Intersex

A: Asexual or Aromantic

+: The plus sign (+) includes other gender identities and sexual orientations not specifically named in the LGBTQ acronym, such as pansexual and gender-fluid individuals.

 

No matter what you are, you should be proud of yourself. Do not spend the rest of your life being something that is not you.

In the Pride Month, I would like to send my short piece of poem to give my love to those who proudly call themselves LGBTQIA+ but never wish to be negatively labeled or misconstrued by others in this world.

 

  People on the Rainbow

by Jean J. Lee

 

Live in the faith of your true self

Glow in the dark like a lonely pharos in the sea

Be something that you truly are

Thoroughly explore the inside of your soul

Quietly but powerfully raise your voice in this world

Inspire your crying friends to step up and speak

Accept and appreciate yourself just the way you are

+ Be proud!

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE SERIES #70. Maestro (film, 2023)

LIVE, LEARN, & LOVE

Do you take delight in watching films, listening to pop music, or reading books? For English learners, movies, songs, and books are one of the most wonderful sources to explore the language! You can indulge in your favorite pastime and still learn some expressions, words of wisdom, and oftentimes good lessons while you’re at it.

 

#70. Maestro (film, 2023)

In between his complex connections with his beloved wife Felicia (pla
yed by Carey Mulligan) and his amorous relationship with clarinetist David Oppenheim, Maestro Leonard Burnstein (played by Bradley Cooper) experienced an unimaginable tempest of emotions throughout his life.

Leonard Bernstein fell in love with Felicia Cohn Montealegre, an actress, despite his sexual orientation and preference for men. The two went on to establish a family. Felicia's career stagnates while Leonard's soars after they get married and have three kids together. Felicia is deceived and perplexed by Bernstein's admission that he prefers male company when traveling and working at the studio, but she makes a concerted effort to keep their family and her husband’s reputation intact from the harassing public.

 

(Lennie’s sister Shirley Bernstein said to Felicia): “There is a price for being in my brother’s orbit, you know that. As much as he’d love to believe the opposite is true.”

ð     Shirley Bernstein makes this candid comment about her brother in the scene of the one-on-one conversation with Leonard's wife Felicia on their picnic. This scene indirectly shows the possible tension between Lennie and his wife, which is the draining reality of falling in love with an extraordinarily talented artist.

Shirley knows that her brother Bernstein's energy is depleting. Thus, every room was dominated by his ego, talent, and celebrity. It might be natural that everyone in his immediate vicinity was compelled to revolve around his demands. Shirley assumes that Bernstein’s presence has totally overshadowed his loved ones' – especially his wife Felicia’s – uniqueness.

On top of it all, it was necessary to endure his erratic whims in order to love him. Felicia had to put up with his untidy, public encounters with men. In order to control his pandemonium, Felicia stifled her own acting career. He had to settle for whatever affection he had left. The conviction that "The Opposite is True" in the position of Lennie Bernstein shows deep narcissism. When it came to his influence, Bernstein had serious blind spots. He sincerely thought that others were inspired by his unending affection. In some ways, he used his artistic reputation as an excuse for his careless action and was blissfully oblivious to the emotional rubble in his life.  

 

(Felicia said to Shirley): “I do understand what you mean. Well, it’s very strange, but I do believe there is that in everybody. One wishes to make adjustments to oneself,j but having this imposition of a strong personality is like a way of death. Really. Yet the moment I see that it is making him suffer, well, I realize it’s not worth it. No. What for? It isn’t going to kill me. If it was going to give him pleasure or stop him from suffering and it’s in my power to do it then what the hell? But one has to do it completely without sacrifice. And if there’s going to be a sacrifice, then I disappear.”

ð     Felicia reflects on the difficult reality of loving someone with an outsized personality. She describes the delicate balance between willingly making sacrifices for a loved one and losing yourself in the process. She means to say the emotional cost of living in the shadow of a partner whose powerful presence can gradually overshadow your own identity. Felicia knows in her head that every relationship requires compromise, but living with a powerful and demanding personality like Leonard Bernstein's can feel emotionally overwhelming. She understands that constantly giving in risks slowly erasing her own identity.

Still, she chooses to make sacrifices because she loves Leonard and wants to ease his struggles by convincing herself that these compromises are acts of love freely given, not obligations forced upon her. However, at the same time, she draws a line. She refuses to become bitter or lose her sense of self completely. When she says, “Then I disappear,” she acknowledges that if preserving the marriage requires sacrificing her dignity, she must emotionally or physically step away. This scene captures the heartbreaking tension between devotion and self-preservation—a balance Felicia struggles to maintain throughout her marriage.

 

(Lennie Bernstein said): “I have one or two saving factors. One is that I love people and I love music. I love music so much. It keeps me glued to life even when I’m most depressed. But I have work ethic and that keeps me afloat. And the other is that I love people so much that it’s hard for him to be alone. Which is part of my struggle as a composer.”

ð     We could see Bernstein's internal struggle throughout his life in this scene. He was drawn to the excitement of large gatherings, but composing music necessitates complete seclusion. His severe depression was exacerbated by his isolation even though his work ethic and love of music kept him alive like a saving grace.

(Bernstein continued to say): “I mean, can one really believe that man is just trapped animal. He’s a victim of his own greed and follies. Either one believes in divine element in this or one doesn’t. As long as I believe it, which I assume is why I love people so much, then I have to believe that in some remote corner of my soul there is a way out.”

ð     Bernstein reflects on a profound question in his life. He asks if humanity is doomed by its flaws, or if there is a divine spark within each of us. While he acknowledges both possibilities, he chooses to believe in the goodness and spiritual potential of people. His deep love for humanity strengthens his faith that growth, healing, and redemption are possible. In the end, Bernstein concludes that no matter how difficult life may be, there is always hope, purpose, and a path forward rooted in the best part of our human nature.

 

** Jean’s Small Thoughts:

I found this film both uncomfortable and thought-provoking because it portrays a larger-than-life figure in classical music struggling with one of the most fundamental aspects of his identity: his sexuality. Living in a time when diversity in sexual orientation was often viewed as unacceptable, Leonard Bernstein faced pressures that no one should have to endure. Although society has become more open-minded in many ways, people are still marginalized and judged simply for being who they are. It raises an important question: Who has the right to decide the “correct” way to live? Why should anyone be criticized or stigmatized because of their identity, beliefs, or way of life?

Another theme that stayed with me is the nature of relationships. Any relationship can become difficult when one person’s power, fame, or need for admiration overshadows the other. When someone is constantly sacrificing their own needs and identity, love can gradually become unhealthy and unbalanced. Over time, trust and mutual respect may begin to crumble. If a relationship consistently makes you feel diminished or unseen, it may be worth asking whether it can be improved—or whether walking away is the healthier path toward happiness.

Has anyone of you out there gone through a relationship in which you feel small as if you became Dolly Parton’s feet under the shadow of her big upper body? Maybe you need to think about your relationship. Either to change it for the better or leave it for happiness.